GenX: The Toys that Warped a Generation

[E] Selena MacIntosh*Generation XX14 Comments

thatsovintage

It’s time to step in to the TARDIS, fellow Gen Xers, to look at the toys that shaped our childhoods and our psyches from the mid 1970′s until the mid 1980′s.  You Youthfuls may enjoy this as well, but I bet you’ll be shocked at how easy it was for us to seriously injure ourselves on our playthings. 

I was an only child, so I spent a good amount of time alone with my toys and my imagination.  There weren’t a lot of kids my age in my neighborhood, so I was very adept at keeping myself entertained.  This may or may not be a good thing, as I think my misanthropic hermit tendencies started around 1977.   I chose toys that I distinctly remember playing with or seeing advertised on Saturday morning TV.   Hopefully you’ll enjoy this post as much as I enjoyed researching it, although I feel like I should take a Geritol now.  The cute little beaver in the thumbnail is something called a Critter Sitter, and they were all over notebooks, Trapper keepers and pocket folders throughout my elementary education.   I had a few, and I’m pretty sure I had Mr. Beaver here on a folder in the third grade.  I seem to recall there being Critter Sitter stickers, too, but don’t quote me on that.

Let’s start with some of the toys that didn’t have long-term lasting effects on my self-image, physical or mental health, shall we?

Pound Puppies

Pound puppies were plush dogs that came in a package that looked like a doghouse.   Pound Puppies, like Cabbage Patch Kids, could be officially ‘adopted’ and named by their owners.  They were also incredibly squishy and covered in super soft velour-esque fabric.   I was a little old for these when they debuted, but I had one on my bed that made a fine pillow.  My younger cousin had what I remember as dozens of these.

Mini Stand Up Arcade Games

Everyone I knew wanted one of these tiny video games around 1984.  In addition to Frogger, Sega put out similar games for Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man, Q-Bert and Donkey Kong.  I had the Donkey Kong, and I played it until it broke.  The only issue with these is the joystick.  (See how small it is?) Spending a couple hours playing resulted in a serious hand cramp and a bad case of Gamer’s Claw.   At 11, I didn’t care.   I bet I could only play for 10 minutes before whining now.

Speak and Spell

I loved the crap out of my Speak&Spell, although it did nothing to make me a decent speller as an adult.  Maybe I should still have one…  Made extra famous by the movie ET, the Extra Terrestrial, the Speak&Spell was a must have toy in the early 80′s.  I don’t remember much about the different functions, but I do remember the creepy digitized voice.

Holly Hobby

I was more of a Raggedy Ann girl, my grandfather worked for the company that owned all the rights to Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy merchandise, so I had a lot of Raggedy Ann stuff growing up.  I did have a Holly Hobby sleeping bag, a set of Holly Hobby Colorforms and maybe a doll.  She was awfully cute, wasn’t she?

Little People and Tree Tots

My Little People days were in the 70′s, and I had the house and the school, which you see here.  My kindergarten classroom had a Little People Sesame Street that I thought was awesome at age five.  I still love Little People, I’d love to track down a bunch of the old school versions which had wooden bodies and plastic heads, instead of the cheap-o all plastic versions of today.  Charming in spite of their lack of arms and legs,  my Little People had a bunch of adventures in the Lego and Lincoln Log village I built them.   The Tree Tots were also made by Fisher Price, but lacked the charm of Little People, even though the Tree Tots got this awesome play house.

The Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker

I had a Kool Aid man sno-cone maker, and I’m assuming the Snoopy model worked in the same way.  After shoving ice cubes in the top, you had to simultaneously push down on the character on top of the machine while turning a crank.  This pressed the ice against a cylinder made of cheese grater material, which would shave the ice before it tumbled out the hole on the front of the machine.  Drizzle a little concentrated, flavored, sugar water on top and voila! Not-so-instant sno-cone.

The Gender Warp Toy Collection

Moving on to the less benign toys, the following were very popular girls’ toys through out the 70′s and 80′s.  Current toys are still trying to pigeonhole kids into interest by gender stereotypes, so these probably won’t surprise anyone.

The Easy Bake Oven

The 70′s version of the Easy Bake oven wasn’t pink, so that’s something.  This could easily have been a gender neutral toy in my day, and I’m sure many parents who wanted to break down gender stereotypes purchased an Easy Bake for their sons as well as for their daughters.  Just not in my family.   I did have a lot of fun with this toy, and I’m still baffled at how it bakes a cake with a light bulb.

The Sunshine Family

I’m including this not so much for offensiveness, but to poke fun at 70′s fashion.   Check out the tight turtleneck on 70′s Dad and the crazy frock on 70′s Mom.

Fashion Plates

I don’t care how gendered this toy is, it was my favorite thing in the whole world from ages 9-12, when I had visions of being a costume designer.  Fashion Plates were awesome.  To begin, you’d create the basic shape by tracing over mix and match plates of different tops, bottoms and heads with a graphite tool in a holder.  This would give you, more or less, a coloring book style drawing of a fashionable lady.  THEN you could slide various textured plates under the drawing and rub with colored pencil or crayon to make the clothes look like real fabric.   Sort of.  I spent hours with this toy.  I wish I still had it.  I had a similar interior design toy that let me create perspective drawings of rooms.   I can’t remember the name of it, but I played with that as much as my Fashion Plates.

Get in Shape, Girl!

Weighted wrist bands, leotards, leg warmers and streamer for 8 year olds looking to firm up.  This was also around the time Weight Watchers started a program from pre-teens in my city.  And when my dad was still (in his own way) lovingly calling me Thunder Thighs.  I bought into Get in Shape Girl.  Only problem, the tutus and the wrist weights and the legwarmers and the leotard didn’t fit, because I was too fat.  Fuck you, Get in Shape Girl.

The Downright Bizarre, Creepy and Dangerous Toys

Here’s where it gets really fun.

Perfection

Just looking at this makes me want to call a therapist.  The idea of Perfection, and the subsequent Super Perfection, was to get all the little yellow pieces in the grid before the timer went off.  Easy, right?  When the timer went off, the tray would spring up and all the pieces would fly in your face.  High pressure spatial relationship skills are great if you’re a Navy Seal.  If you’re a worrisome 8 year old with lots of irrational fears and a perfectionist streak, this game is the devil.  *makes sign of protection, spits*

Play Doh Doctor Drill ‘n’ Fill

It’s your very own Marathon Man Playset! With Play Doh teeth instead of Dustin Hoffman’s.

The Clacker

I knocked my ten years older cousin out cold with one of these, and caused more than one knot on my own forehead.  This is not a toy for clumsy children.

Cher Half Breed Bob Mackie Barbie

Presented without comment.

There you have it, the toys that made me the cynical recluse I am today.   Fellow x’ers, what toys do you remember?

Related
Avatar of [E] Selena MacIntosh*
Find me on

[E] Selena MacIntosh*

Editor-in-Chief at Persephone Magazine
Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.
Avatar of [E] Selena MacIntosh*
Find me on
Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel via Twitter.
What feel do you feel after reading this post?
  • Inspired
  • Smart
  • Tickled
  • Hungry
  • Sad
  • Smash!
[E] Selena MacIntosh*GenX: The Toys that Warped a Generation

14 Comments on “GenX: The Toys that Warped a Generation”

Leave a Reply

  1. Avatar of staunchlymolly
    staunchlymolly

    I actually had a toy like the fashion plates ( late 90s) but it had anthropomorphised (sp?) animals with clothes. Awesome as hell. On the gender side of toys, my bro is 1 year younger than me, so we tended to mash our toys together. Eg my barbies storming his fisher price castle aided by my hotwheels, only to be defeated by Godzilla. Fun times :)

  2. Avatar of mcpm
    mcpm

    Memories! I’m a couple years younger but I remember these well. To combine two from your list, I actually had a Holly Hobby oven that baked with a light bulb. It was blue plastic fake old-timey and I loved it.

  3. Pingback: Persephone Magazine | Blog | Fun and Games Trivia Answers

  4. Anonymous

    Still got my kids’ Perfection.
    From HK65”s bizarre toy chest:
    Steve Austin doll with false epidermis which rolled up to reveal his bionic part which could be replaced. The stupid bionic eye was just a hole and morse code messages were sent by tapping/topping the hole in his head. Lame. Evel Oscar Goldman was better with his fake face mask.
    Evel Knievel doll and bike with windup stand. You cranked the handle to rev Evel’s bike.
    Rock Em Sock Em robots. But sometimes the head got stuck in the upright position.
    Battleship was an awesome game. Don’t like the newer electronic voiced ones.
    (Clearly my bro had better toys)
    Dawn Dolls–so tiny and those shoes ended up in many toddlers’ noses and ears, not mine. But the dresses were so pretty.
    I had a Rock Rainbow doll, the brunette, based on the fake girl group. She came with a red plastic 45 record and a special stand so you could prop Rock Rainbow doll on the record stand while it played.
    I love those “stained glass” kits. Could not bear to toss away the extra crystals.
    Colorform paper dolls. Colorform anythings. I had a Chrissy colorform doll that accompanied my stand-and-turn Chrissy doll. Long Hair Chrissy’s hair could grow by pulling it. You shortened it by turning the knob on her back.
    My friend’s Baby Alive creeped me. You could hear the motor churning as she ate.
    I saw the pregnant Barbie at my playmate’s house. The baby was folded in half in Barbie’s tummy. Another friend had Grow Up Skipper. You moved her arm and her boobs popped out and her legs grew longer. Weirdnes galore from Mattel.
    I was sad when I gave up my 70′s psychedelic Barbie Dreamhouse. I put that thing together by myself.

  5. Sara Mercik Beach

    I got a classic Superfection for Christmas a few years ago because my husband rocks. My son and I were playing with it last week.

    I LOVED my Fashion Plates and my cat was scared shitless by the creepy Speak and Spell voice.

    What was the “computer” toy that looked like a big red telephone and had a few games on it, but you only ever played tic-tac-toe? Mr. Wizard?

    1. OpheliaPayne

      Oooh! I know exactly what you’re talking about but I can’t remember what it was called. Quiz Wiz? No, that was different. I’m totally researching this, I have to know now.

  6. Michelle Mc

    Laughing SO HARD. I absolutely loved Perfection, and would practice without the timer on so I could win with the timer on. What does that say about me?!?!?!?

  7. kperfetto

    I had those Fashion Plates. I also had a “sewing” kit that made doll clothes by gluing the seams together. And the giant Barbie head to put makeup on (but younger cousins worked much better for makeover play).

    1. OpheliaPayne

      I always wanted the Barbie make-up head. My babysitter’s kid had one, but she hated to share. I blame my lack of makeup ability now on my lack of a giant Barbie head then.

  8. Anonymous

    I had a good number of these! Well, the Sunshine Family was my little sisters, but I think I just decided it was actually mine.

    I have my Fashion Plates kicking around somewhere… I still love it even though I turn 40 in a few mere days. :)

    The only thing I would add are Weebles; the original ones, like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/megandavid/2142156729/. We also had the Weeble Car and Camper, which was hella fun!

    1. OpheliaPayne

      I’m totally keeping an eye out on ebay for a set of Fashion Plates. I’ll be 40 the end of next year, maybe we should start a Fashion Plates for Mature Ladies club. : )

Leave a Reply