Perspectives: The Changing of the Guard

Over Thanksgiving weekend  2010 I made a realization. My family is as crazy as everyone elses. I’ve always listened to tales of dysfunction, secretly gloating that my family was relatively normal. After all,we’ve never been to therapy. Turns out, we are dysfunctional and repressed. And control freaks.
This year we were one of three families staying the weekend at my parents’ house. That’s lot of people in close quarters during cold weather. I thought we were doing ok, all six adults of my generation, with our six kids of the next generation. Maybe we were doing ok, but my father wasn’t. After the gang had been there for about 24 hours, I asked what the plan was (there had been talk of a field trip to the movies). He looked at me and said,” I’m not sure, but I need some time with these people out of my house.” And he threw me a wad of cash. Not a problem! I shall orchestrate the field trip.
What it comes down to, I determined is that my parents are having a hard time with the “adult children”. They know that these children and cousins are full fledged adults, yet they have  a hard time not being in charge. They are powerless when the adults in their home choose to stay up late and sleep late. They are powerless when they decide to arrange their trip home so that their kids won’t be getting a full night’s sleep before school the next day. They are powerless when the adults don’t discipline their grandkids and grand nephews they way they would (on a side note, I’ve confirmed some of my famy will never be invited to my home for an overnight stay). this lack of control over the situation creates a lot of stress.
My family has reached the changing of the gaurd, where the kids have become the adults, and the parents have become the old people. They are cranky enough to be good at it, but they sure as hell aren’t ready to be those people yet. So they are left to bite their tongues and stress about things. Which then makes for tense family time. Eventually, it will work itself out, right??

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