I Will NEVER Regret This! & Other Tattoo Truisms

I stumbled across the Tumblr FuckYeahTattoos this morning and you can pretty much imagine how productive the rest of my day has been. There’s nothing more engrossing than looking at a good mixture of beautiful and horrible and ill-advised and completely inexplicable tats. But, you know me–I’m not here to show you the lovely, heart-breaking works, I’m here to point and laugh at the ones that their bearers will spend years trying to camouflage under grown-out body hair.

Stupidly Meta

For this to have even approached cool, the word "Tattoo" should have looked like real-person handwriting or maybe even little-kid handwriting, not Sailor Jerry font.
This is gutsy, but so why not just draw it on in permanent marker and pretend for a week?
If Kat Von D tattooed this Kat Van D tattoo, than I, sir, will eat my hat. And continue to laugh at you.

Examples of Couples Egging One Another On

I don't mean to rain on people's parades, but at the very least, one of you is going to die. And it's not like you stand next to one another all the time either. I mean, what happens if "Love" stands on the left?
So if you rub your ankles together do your legs open? That wasn't intended to sound dirty, I'm just trying to figure this all out.

Lyrics From Songs That Are Far Too Recent to Really Mean Anything to You

I left in the reference to the 18th birthday, because getting Temper Trap lyrics tattooed on your arm is just so very.
And here we have the Mumford & Sons version. Seriously, that band isn't, you know, Radiohead: they could just be a flash in the pan. Or you could never fall in love and all your fears could mutiply. THEN how will you feel, dude?

If You Have to Say “I Will Never Regret This,” You Are Lying to Yourself

I give this person 2.5 months before they're frantically googling "tattoo removal."
This is when you just get one of those signable Starbucks mugs or stuffed animals or you purposely break your arm so people can sign your cast. So you don't resort to this. So Benjamin doesn't spell his name "BenJAMMIN" on your foot.

The Surprisingly Indelible Nature of Crafting

I think a cooler tattoo would have been if the yarn was a snake and the needles were katana blades. Instead of just yarn and knitting needles. Jussayin'.
I can't lie: I actually think this is pretty badass.

People See You and Then Run In the Opposite Direction

I just weep for humanity.
If I was friends with this girl I'd be like, "It is mandatory for you to wear your hair down whenever there's a chance your back will be to me. Also, please swear to me you aren't Sauron."

Please Tell Me You Work for Pixar or Cartoon Network

Titanic made me cry like a baby but you don't see Leonardo DiCaprio's face on my knee, do you?!
Why is the red-haired one blonde? Are we human or are we dancer?

At Least It’s Small?

Somebody's fondest memories clearly involve eating early morning cereal and slurping blue-green milk out of the bowl.
There's Waldo! I found him! Guys, I know where Waldo is! Guys! Waldo!

Looks Like a Butthole, Dude

No disrespect intended, but really.

Too Badass to Snark


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