Manufacturing a Celebrity Crush

Meghan’s post about JTT and the subsequent comments about all the celebrity crushes of my generation only served as a reminder about my own personal shortcoming: I don’t have celebrity crushes.  In middle school when all the girls were cutting out their Tiger Beat pictures of JTT and Jonathan Brandeis and my sister was rewinding the scene in Casper where Devon Sawa and Christina Ricci kiss, I was far more interested in the general phenomenon of celebrity crushes. Andrew Keegan in 7th HeavenTo this day I can tell you names and details of girls I knew who were outspoken about their celeb crushes, although I had none of my own.

I have always felt weird that I just don’t crush on people on-screen.  I don’t lust after them either.  A topless scene with Alexander Skarsgard may as well be played with him in a sweatshirt for all the difference it makes to me.  But in high school I decided that I needed to manufacture a celebrity crush.  My celebrity of choice was Andrew Keegan. Remember him? There’s another Where Is He Now for you. (According to IMDB he does a lot of guest spots on shows like CSI and he was in one of the terrible Christmas movies on Netflix Instant that I reviewed).   Anyway, in 1997 he played Wilson, Mary’s boyfriend on 7th Heaven.  I watched 7th Heaven every week and he certainly was not an unattractive boy, so he made a good crush.  To the teen mags I went!  I cut out pictures of Andrew Keegan along with interjections like “Hot!” and “Cute!” and pasted them….to the inside of my closet….behind my clothes.  Writing this now I have no idea what purpose it was meant to serve.  My friends would be unlikely to see it if they came over.   I didn’t look at them and dreamily manufacture our wedding or first kiss.  Did I think my making up a celebrity crush, even if it was one that only I knew about, I would feel less left-out and teen angsty?  Who knows.  Anyway, in 1997 I was 15 and at that age I don’t even think girls were cutting out pictures of boys anymore.  Maybe they were, but I wouldn’t know anything about that.

Alexander Skarsgard Topless
This is just so you all won't hate me for saying he could play his scenes in a sweatshirt.

Published by

Luci Furious

There are no bad times, only good stories.

11 thoughts on “Manufacturing a Celebrity Crush”

  1. I never had that many celebrity crushes either, or when I did they were just odd — like Peter Tork from the Monkees twenty years after their peak in popularity. I was never into the 80s and 90s boy bands. (I was already well into my twenties when the wave of 90s boy bands crested.) 
    My best friend had a crush on Ralph Macchio (sp?) from The Karate Kid. She threatened to beat me up if I didn’t agree that he was hot. That’s pretty much the extent of my teen idol crushing.

  2. I was late with the celebrity crushes. Didn’t understand all the fuss about boybands and tv-stars la la la. 
    I think I went aboard when I was 19/20? Before that, I would fantasize a lot about celebrities, but only because I would become a part of it because of my mad acting and writing skills. Still I’m not admitting to a crush, only to mild obsessions to help me through the night ;)

  3. I was kind of the same way but with boy bands.  I just didn’t get them, couldn’t keep track of which Backstreet Boy was which, and it actually ruined several friendships in middle school because I couldn’t bond with my elementary school friends about boybands.

  4. I think I mentioned this in the JTT post, but christ on a cracker, I loved Andrew Keegan.  I think your approach to celebrity crushes was way better than mine.  My friends and I would actually fight over whether we were allowed to have the same celebrity crush! That’s way more embarrassing than the crush itself.

  5. @ Meghan Williams
    I can’t find the video online, but this is the trailer for one of the funniest things I have seen in my life:

     
    It’s 7th Heaven season 5 episode 9, “Tunes”. One of the boys starts hanging out with some kids who like hip-hop. Immediately, he becomes a gangster. I can’t explain it anymore, except to say that listening to rap music will turn your white suburban son into a black ghetto hoodlum.

Leave a Reply