Ask Luci – 4/28

Another Thursday, another edition of Ask Luci!

My friend is driving me crazy! She met a new guy about five months ago and at first, I was really happy and supportive, given her last crazy relationship. However, it soon turned into her talking about her new guy ALL THE TIME. I mean, we go out to dinner and I’m talking about toothpaste and somehow that turns into a long story about her guy. It’s been almost six months and it is driving me crazy. It has come to the point where I ignore her calls just so I don’t have to hear about him. Seriously, I know all about their sex life and exactly what his favorite position is as well as his parents’ names and his troubling childhood. I get that it’s a new relationship and it’s all very exciting but it’s just too much. But I have no clue how to confront my friend. I’ve mentioned that I felt that she talked about him all the time. But that didn’t seem to work. What else do you think I can do?  Apart from ignoring her for the next four months until she chills out?

Oh man. I feel for you.  We all know someone who just doesn’t know when to shut up about their significant other, and can bring any conversation back to that.  Although, if you’re talking about toothpaste, maybe she’s a little bored with you too.  Jokes!

If this is a friendship that’s important to you, my first suggestion would be to bring it up again.  I mean, at six months, it’s not even really that new of a relationship anymore, so hopefully they would be out of the gaga stage by now.  So, you know, gently say again, “I’d really like to hear more about how YOU’RE doing.  I’m hearing a lot about Boyfriend, but I have no idea what’s up with you.”

Are you dating anyone? Could you go on double dates? That might help to act as a little bit of a buffer.  And if not a double date, maybe you have a mutual friend you could bring along when you get together.  Sometimes having another person in the mix can help everyone chill out a little.

Those are all the tips I have for you.  If they don’t work, you really might have to wait it out until she calms down.  But, as always, I invite commenters to offer any tips they may have!

Send your Ask Luci questions to lucifurious at persephonemagazine.com and I will give your identity anonymous, or you can ask anonymously on my tumblr here.  See you next week!

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Luci Furious

There are no bad times, only good stories.

2 thoughts on “Ask Luci – 4/28”

  1. The friend sounds like a young-ish girl who’s maybe feeling the thrill of her first sexual relationship that didn’t quickly turn to shit. Everyone knows that the people who talk about sex the most are either very new to it or not having it at all.

  2. I think other suggestions are to spend parts of your time together on conversations that deliberately can’t include boyfriend anecdotes, like, “remember that New Year’s when…” or “so X was talking about her boss, remember?” This might or might not work, but hopefully your friend is conscientious enough to at least notice that she’s being annoying and to try to simmer a little bit. Or at least hopefully she’ll increasingly become that way over time!

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