I’ve admitted in these parts before that I subscribe to US Weekly. I also read my share of entertainment gossip online, although I’ve cut back on the number of celebrity sites I visit.I’m even considering giving the US Weekly subscription the old heave-ho. Part of the reason is that I’ve been around long enough to have read the same celebrity stories over and over again, and I’m kind of tired of them.
Here are the ones I’d like to see retired:
Sex tape scandals. I no longer raise an eyebrow over sex tapes. They neither strike me as shocking (unless, of course, a crime is being committed), nor do they make me feel sorry for the participants. I’m moved to neither defend nor deride them. The same goes for any semi-incriminating photographs. You mean someone who makes a living making movies was drunk once? In a bar?
Anything about babies. I’m at the point where I’m unable to care at all about any famous person who is either expecting a child or has just welcomed their first (or sixth!) baby. I now feel pretty much the same way I do when I see a pregnancy announcement on my Facebook news feed: Oh, that’s nice. I’ll probably carry on living my life as before. This goes double for any mention of how they lost weight “running around after the baby.” (You know, the baby that can’t walk yet?)
Advertising in disguise. I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing an advertorial when I see one, and celebrity news is the worst culprit. There are several regular features in US Weekly alone, including “What’s in my Purse?” and “20 Things You Don’t Know About Me” that are just blatantly an excuse for the person to hawk whatever it is they’re selling. (I don’t go anywhere without this wacky new product that no one really needs!) I get it; many celebrities make as much, if not more, money on their spokesperson gigs, but that doesn’t mean I have to fall for it.
How they used to be nerds. I’m not going to touch the recent “Hot women pandering to nerds” debate, and I’m not specifically saying that I get to judge which celebrities are legitimate nerds and which are just trying to be more relatable. I’m just pretty sure it’s statistically impossible for so many people in Hollywood to have started out nerdy. Also, it’s much more common for female celebs to use this line as if they’re apologizing for their current status, that they’ve earned the right to be hot and successful now because they started off just like us.
A newly-famous person did normal-person things. Wow, really, someone who wasn’t born into fame and celebrity looked and acted normal when they were growing up? When someone is catapulted into fame, rather than scratching and clawing their way up over several years (see: internet fame, reality-TV fame), there are often pictures, video, and stories about them from before they were famous. Because, of course there are. It’s simply a more extreme version of what every 20-something discovers once they’re out of college and looking for a job: suddenly everything that’s on the Internet about you is a liability. As long as celebrity publications will pay for stories, people will come out of the woodwork with an awkward picture of someone famous.
There are others, of course, but these are the big ones that I’ve noticed. The problem is, once you’ve identified some celebrity story pet peeves and seek to avoid them, you find yourself skipping over half the content. Which really makes you take a hard look at why you’re reading any of it in the first place.