I’m actually going to start this recap before the episodes even begin. A few observations: the DVD contained an ad for how you need Blu-Ray for its awesomeness, and this particular series is not available on Blu-Ray. Then, when I started the DVD, it had a trailer for that movie about superpowered gerbils, as though the primary target audience is not mid-twenties people going on a nostalgia trip. It was actually the best trailer for the movie that I had seen. I might be biased because it featured a star-nose mole, but then it had the star-nosed mole eat something and you could actually see the movement with the naked eye. Seriously, look up videos of star-nosed moles. They’re ridiculous. Then an ad for Monsters, Inc. on Blu-Ray. Now there is an ad for Lost Season 4 featuring the crash. What? What is their target audience with this combination? Now there is another ad for Disney Blu-Ray. I am so confused.
Yeah, I’m more live-blogging this than recapping it. So sue me. (Please don’t, I have no money.)
Okay, the intro theme is just as awesome as I remember. I do remember it was really helpful when I was a kid and just started to watch the show and still was learning the characters’ names.
THE EPISODE STARTS WITH A SENTINEL ATTACKING A DOG. That’s how you know it’s a bad guy. Also, the first X-Men introduced? Jubilee, then Storm and Rogue. They are walking around in normal clothes at the mall. Gambit is walking around in his regular superhero getup, complete with weird face-mask-thing. What? A Sentinel comes to kidnap Jubilee, and the X-Men, of course, save the day. When they start fighting the Sentinel, Storm somehow transforms into her costume, whereas Rogue is just kicking ass in her matching fuchsia dress and heels. I knew there was a reason she was always my favorite character.
After the X-Men save Jubilee, they bring her to the mansion and leave her alone in a room hooked up to medical equipment, which she destroys accidentally with her powers. Now she’s trying to escape the mansion, but ends up in the Danger Room, where Wolverine and Gambit are being super-manly by punching each other in the face. Jubilee saves Gambit by hitting Wolverine with her sparkles, which hurts his pride and makes him cranky. Exposition time! Danger Room! Storm is explaining the X-Men! (For those who aren’t familiar, Storm is explaining that the X-Men are a group of mutants, which are people who have powers that no one understands. They learned how to control their powers for the benefit of mankind. People hate mutants because they fear what they can’t understand.)
When Jubilee goes to check on her parents, there is a Sentinel hiding behind a tree, which is a terrible place to hide a Sentinel.
Now that she’s missing, Wolverine mysteriously wants to go off alone to rescue her. Because, y’know, she completely made him feel like crap before? I don’t know.
So now the X-Men are breaking into the Mutant Control Agency, which the show made clear to point out is not a government facility, just a private organization that is sometimes supported by the government. Wolverine rejoins them because the trail went cold. Also, Wolverine can smell light. What?
I’m between episodes now, so I’m going to point out that I don’t remember much of Morph, but he’s really kind of a dick. Mostly because he’s the “practical joker” type, but seems to get a lot of enjoyment out of doing things to bother other people. I wonder if it’s because his power is pretty much useless for actual fighting, just for subterfuge.
Episode is back on! So they get in and start destroying the files, but wait! Jubilee is in Michigan being interrogated! The dude is trying to figure out who the X-Men are, because of course Jubilee knows everything about them after spending about ten minutes in their facility.
While Beast is uploading a virus to destroy the files back at the Mutant Control Agency, Storm destroys the computer monitor and “takes care of it.” What is this show teaching kids about network security and backing up your files?
Right! This is why I don’t remember Morph! When escaping from the Mutant Control Agency, there were Sentinels, and they hit him in the brainy parts, and he dies in the second episode. For a show where no one ever bleeds, this is kind of intense. Wolverine destroys a car in rage. It’s Cyclops’s car, of course. But Cyclops left Morph behind, so Wolverine is blaming Cyclops. Or is he really blaming himself? Dun dun dun. Beast was captured by the dude interrogating Jubilee. Seriously, I remember Morph dying, but did not realize it was in the second episode. And I feel like he does come back somehow.
Nostalgia time! Wolverine swears to avenge Morph, and I remember being very confused and my mom having to explain to me what the word meant, because I thought it must be like “revenge” but grammatically that made no sense.
They go to the president on TV talking about the attack, and OMG THE PRESIDENT IS A WOMAN. I forgot that.
Wolverine goes to a bar where he almost gets kicked out, and Cyclops goes to pick him up. Cyclops lures him back with the promise of finding the Sentinels’ hiding place. But! The President ordered the bad dude to stop the Sentinel program, because clearly if the mutants attacked it then they could have only done so with good reason! So basically the mutant terrorists (i.e. the X-Men) probably had a point and we should let them be. How did heck did this woman get elected? Also, the guy making the Sentinels is totally not going to stop. I’m calling it now.
Cyclops visits Jubilee’s parents to set a trap for a Sentinel, so they can damage-but-not-incapacitate it to follow it home. In the Blackbird. Which the Sentinel totally doesn’t notice. The returning Sentinel messes everything up and allows Jubilee’s escape, but then she gets surrounded, and”¦ the X-Men are here to save the day! And Jubilee says goodbye to her parents and goes to stay with the X-Men!
There is a bit of angsty-time at the end when Cyclops asks Jean if he did the right thing, and she tells him that he did what he had to do.
So, yeah, that’s the first two episodes. Mostly exposition. It’s interesting, because I know that these were not the first episodes that I watched. I definitely came in on the middle of things when I started watching this back in the day, but they had reruns all the time and I feel like episodes were never in order anyway, so there’s that. The show is much more cheese-tastic than I remember, but it is a kids’ show. What more can you expect?
Join me next time for the recap of “Enter Magneto” (dun dun dun”¦)