Flavor Blasted Cool Jobs!

At my current place of employment I do a lot of the basic hiring functions like receiving resumes, sending out contracts and new hire forms, and being one of the primary contacts between job seekers and the people who decide who gets a job and who doesn’t. I thought I’d add to the subject matter already covered by the esteemed pileofmonkeys in “Adventures in Hiring” by giving you the top few ridiculous things that I routinely see people do in the hiring process. I’m sure all of these things will seem completely obvious to all of you, but I see people do them every day so who knows?

    • You need a professional email address. Seriously. I don’t care– okay, I do care a little bit because Gmail, people! Gmail exists!– if you still use lilbunnynumbnuts14@aol.com for all of your personal email since 1997 and you don’t want to change it, but friend, you need to get another email address to put on your resume. First initial, last name; first name, last name; just your initials, whatever. There are a couple of reasons for this. One, not having a reasonably professional looking email address makes your application stand out in a bad way. It has the potential to demonstrate, much like flip flops at an interview, that you don’t care enough to pay attention to the details that together create the picture you present to a potential employer, or, in your potential employer’s imagination, their clients. Two, when the hiring manager has to search through their Outlook list, or double check your resume to come up with your email address because it doesn’t come up when they start typing your name, that means they  have to think about the fact that you have a dumb email address again and again. Just don’t do it. Also, stop using AOL email. But that is just my personal appeal to your common sense.
    • Speak and write to every single person you encounter who is in any way associated with the company at which you’re trying to get a job with the same respect and courtesy you would the hiring manager. Don’t leave testy voicemails for the receptionist because your application hasn’t been processed fast enough. Don’t dash off informal emails riddled with typos to the HR assistant. These things, especially things like voicemails and emails that can be forwarded or replayed with the push of a button, will inevitably be passed on to the person reviewing your application. Again, carelessness demonstrates a lack of professionalism and attention to detail.
    • Follow instructions. If you are specifically directed to contact one person with questions about your application, do not contact another person instead. In large organizations, hiring is a finely tuned process with specific steps that have to be followed in order for everything to stay organized. When you fail to follow instructions, you risk getting your application placed on hold while someone else figures out what you did wrong and what they have to do to help you. This isn’t, at least at my employer, a malicious process, and the hiring representatives really do want to help you, but you make everyone’s life easier when you help yourself.

Not one of these things will get you automatically and absolutely disqualified for a job on their own, or even all together, but they will make your potential employer take a more skeptical look at your qualifications and experience that they otherwise would. Make everyone else’s life easier and more pleasant, and for the most part they will do the same for you. Though, I’m not going to lie, playing your– proverbial “your” because I know no Persephone reader would ever do this– nasty voicemail back for my boss is always a pleasant experience.

On to the jobs!

Policy Research Assistant

You will be responsible for conducting basic research and analysis of immigration issues and for supporting the Immigration Policy Center’s mission to provide accurate information about immigration and immigrants to policymakers, the media, and the public. The Policy Research Assistant will review and summarize developments in the immigration field, assist in writing, editing and production of IPC publications, and provide support to the Director and other staff on work related to the publication and dissemination of immigration policy and research.

Database Associate

Americans for the Arts is currently recruiting for a Database Associate. In this role the Database Associate will assist the Database Administration Manager with all functions related to database management and development.

Interpreter

PTV seeks an experienced and motivated individual to be part of our dynamic team to serve as a contracted interpreter for our clients. We are currently seeking interpreters for the Hindi, Punjabi, Sinhala, Arabic, and Nepali languages.

Advocate

MCC seeks a self motivated individual to fill a Teen Advocate position in our MOMobile program. The Advocate will conduct home visits with pregnant and newly parenting teens and young women to provide education on health related topics, parenting, and prenatal care.

Attorney

The Program Attorney will conduct training nationwide on stalking for criminal justice personnel, victim service providers, and other professionals who are addressing stalking in their communities. The Program Attorney will be responsible for tracking and summarizing stalking legislation and case law, providing technical assistance on criminal and civil justice issues related to stalking, and is expected to remain current on the latest developments and trends associated with stalking and to translate this knowledge into curricula, resources, and materials for the field.

Accountant

Reporting to the Controller, this position will support Trickle Up’s Accounting and Financial Analysis functions. The Accountant will have a varied portfolio of duties and will work with staff in headquarters and our three field offices.

Animal Adoption Counselor

The WHS is seeking an outgoing, energetic and customer service driven individual to join our team as an Adoption Counselor for our New York Avenue Animal Shelter. This person would be responsible of successfully placeing shelter animals into responsible homes.

Music Events Coordinator

The Coordinator of Music Events assists the Manager of Music Events and Publicity in coordinating, managing, and executing the logistics, publicity, and (when applicable) ticket sales for all events, performances, and other activities in the Granoff Music Center’s primary performance spaces, as well as Tufts Music performances not in the center.

Attorney

SEIU HCMI is seeking a labor attorney. Candidates should be attorneys with a solid background in private and public employment law, the ability to negotiate contracts; arbitrate grievances and representing members in employment-related problems. Candidates should be comfortable representing the local in all pertinent legal venues including the NLRB, MERC or other situations where they may apply. The ideal candidate has had prior experience and a passion for social justice.

Press/Media Coordinator Internship

The New York Transit Museum seeks a college student to serve as our Press/Media Coordinator. This person is the primary press contact for the Museum. Candidates must have demonstrated writing skills and social media experience.

Administrative Assistant

CCFA seeks a part-time (25-30 hours a week) Administrative Assistant for our South Texas Chapter located in Houston, TX. This position will be responsible for providing administrative support for the Chapter. Primary responsibilities include but are not limited to data entry into event database, website maintenance, mailings to constituents, processing checks and credit cards and administrative support for meetings and events as needed.

Head Cheerleading Coach

The HCZ Community Center is currently seeking a Head Cheerleading Coach to work in our Athletic Department. The Head Cheerleading Coach is responsible for the instructing cheerleader techniques to prepare students for events and competition, and motivating student athletes to develop an appreciation for the sport.

Box Office and Office Coordinator

The Box Office and Office Coordinator is accountable for the effective operation of the SAL box office and office. This position is highly customer focused and also supports the organization’s marketing and fundraising efforts. The Box Office and Office Coordinator manages all subscription sales, single event sales, ticketing operations, box office operations and patron service issues.

Executive Chef

Reporting to the Chief Executive Officer and a member of the senior management team, the Executive Chef is responsible for the full operation of our Kitchen with a staff of eleven (11) union staff working two shifts and utilizing 20 ““ 50 volunteers per day. The Kitchen produces over 2000 meals per day, including 25 different medically-tailored diets for our critically ill clients and hot meals for our social enterprise program, feeding local schools and non-profits.

Community Greening Planner

The Community Greening Planner will be an experienced and creative planning professional. He/she will be capable of developing, implementing and leading comprehensive community greening projects and programs with a high degree of professionalism, sensitivity and integrity.

Advocate

Working as part of a team under the supervision of the AI Russia Office Director, you’ll help develop and put in place campaigning strategies. Coordinating actions and supporting both AI and outside networks, you’ll make sure we have the biggest possible impact. You’ll do that by developing and running training programmes for AI members and our partners.

Sexual Assault Advocate

Provides in-person advocacy and follow-up services for individuals who have been victims of sexual assault. Also provides crisis intervention and resource/referral services both in person and by phone to individuals seeking legal assistance, counseling, and other various supports related to sexual assault.

Graphic Designer

The Graphic Designer will create organized and attractive publicity materials for a small international education NGO. The brochures and fliers will communicate our programs to faculty and students at U.S and Asian universities. This is a part-time job you can do from home, occurring at periodic intervals during the year.

Gardening Instructor

Brooklyn Botanic Garden seeks Instructor to work with the Garden Apprentice Program (GAP) Coordinator to plan and implement all aspects of the GAP program – a four-tiered internship program for youth entering 8th through 12th grades.

Production Coordinator

The Production Coordinator for the Public Programs department is responsible for the implementation of special projects and events while assisting with regular public programs targeted at adult audiences.

Events Coordinator/Gallery Assistant

Hillyer Art Space is currently looking for a temporary candidate to fill it’s Events Coordinator/Gallery Assistant position. The position is full time and will need to be filled until December or when the current Events Coordinator/Gallery Assistant returns.

Research Assistant

CJI’s project teams provide technical assistance, consulting and evaluation services to efforts focused on the implementation of evidence”based practices in corrections (parole, probation, institutions, and courts) and juvenile justice. This position will support the work of various project teams to develop and implement initiatives related to criminal and juvenile justice policy and practice. In addition to project”specific support, the Research Assistant will also work with CJI’s Leadership Team on special projects as needed.

Development Associate

Reporting to the Development Director, the Development Associate plays a key role in a small museum staff. The position works across various donor categories, providing support in the stewardship of individual and corporate members, individual donors, and institutional funders.

Marine Science Instructor

The Catalina Island Marine Institute (CIMI) is looking for dynamic and passionate ocean enthusiasts to teach hands-on marine science to 4th -12th graders. CIMI provides school children with unique learning opportunities through snorkeling, kayaking and hiking as well as classroom and lab experiences. The job is both mentally and physically challenging. Our marine science instructors must be physically fit, a team player, flexible, engaging and passionate about teaching.

Reception and Office Services Coordinator

The Solomon R. Guggenheim Foundation is seeking a Reception and Office Services Coordinator. The role is responsible for reception desk coverage and associated duties, as well as administrative support for the Office Services Department and Facilities and Security Department as needed.

Development Director

Art in Your Eye is an annual summer art festival in the Fox Valley area of Chicago’s Western Suburbs. The festival is in its eighth year and draws approximately 8,000 attendees. We are seeking a part-time, certified professional development director to help develop and implement a comprehensive long-term sponsorship and fundraising plan.

Executive Director

The Foundation is seeking a part-time to full-time Executive Director. The Director’s main responsibility is fundraising. Other responsibilities include public relations and general Foundation administration.

Data Collection and Reporting Assistant

The Data Collection & Reporting Associate will play a critical role in managing the accuracy and efficiency of OBDC’s information systems and external reporting. This position will have the opportunity to gain detailed knowledge about OBDC funded businesses. The reporting process will impart insight into city, state and federal reporting guidelines for CDFI’s. This position is an excellent opportunity for a detail-oriented and self-directed college graduate with demonstrated interest in research and evaluation.

Social Media Internship

Audubon seeks Two Social Media Interns to contribute to the development and implementation of our overall social media strategy. Under the direction of the Director, Marketing & Communications, the intern team will play a key role in growing and upgrading Audubons Facebook and Twitter presence, as well as evaluating other social media platforms and opportunities.

Copywriter

This copywriter position will work primarily on the flagship network, Discovery Channel. We require an experienced advertising and marketing creative with strong creative writing skills in everything from headlines to long-form copy. He/she needs to have solid conceptual abilities, be a strategic thinker and be able to write for all media including print, digital and broadcast as well as branding and miscellaneous collateral applications.

Speechwriter

PPFA is currently seeking an experienced speechwriter. S/he will play an instrumental role in developing core speech content for the President of PPFA. This position will be responsible for drafting full length speeches, brief remarks, talking points and speech frameworks for the President and from time to time key senior staff. The Speechwriter will partner with the PPFA President, the Director of the OOP, the Vice President of Communications, divisional heads and other key leaders across the country to develop original content and ensure that key messages are consistently communicated across multiple channels (speeches/speaker forums, web, internal communications and events).

Research Assistant

The selected candidate is passionate about current trends in traditional and social media, technology and corporate communications. A background in comprehensive research and reporting as well as a knack for retrieving and analyzing information is key. Extensive research to identify potential speakers, performers and other programming talent is one of the foremost responsibilities of the position. The candidate must be able to document and report findings to Future of Storytelling executives in a clear and organized manner.

Broadway Reporter

The Broadway Reporter will need to quickly write accurate news stories; conduct lively interviews for online and video features, including red carpet coverage; develop ideas for special features, photo and video shoots; write engaging synopses, bios, photo captions and more.

And, last but not least, in our SEEMS LEGIT category this week, a Craigslist poster wants to know, “Are you sitting on your gifts?” I think my boyfriend and Sir Mix-a-Lot would agree that I am.

DO YOU FEEL YOU AREN’T REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL IN LIFE? DO YOU HAVE A HEART AND COMPASSION FOR PEOPLE?
HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN INTEREST IN MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS? DO YOU FEEL AS IF YOU’VE HAD A HARD TIME REACHING YOUR TRUE CALL OR DESTINY IN LIFE?
IF YOU HAVE ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, WE’D LIKE TO MEET WITH YOU. YOU MAY COME IN PERSON ON TUESDAY, OCTOBER 11TH 2011 @ 6:30pm Address: 1100 LOGGER CT SUITE A102 RALEIGH, NC 27615…..OR CALL CALL TO SET UP AN APPT. 919-576-7593. NOW IS YOUR TIME TO BEGIN LIVING A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE!!

Go for it, guys. That seems like a great opportunity. To join a cult.

Need a job? Have a job that needs a doer? Email me at kelsium@persephonemagazine.com!

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(e)Kelsium

Kelsium lives in Southern California with her partner and collection of almost (almost!) kill-proof plants. She enjoys the beaches, but finds the lack of acceptable bagels distressing. She considers herself an expert in red lipstick and internet rage.

4 thoughts on “Flavor Blasted Cool Jobs!”

  1. Excellent tips! As the person in charge off hiring here, I’d like to add –

    1) If you are submitting your resume via email, either make your cover letter (ALWAYS have a cover letter) the body of the email or write something in the body of the email, even as simple as “please see attached cover letter and resume”. If I receive a blank email with only attachments, I don’t know if I am being spammed and will not open them.

    2) When I post a job, I receive at lease 250 emails within 24 hours. I know it sucks not to hear back after you have applied for a position, but there is only one of me. I cannot email everyone back. Ads will often say “no calls, please”. This is not a suggestion. I ended up with over 500 emails about the last job I posted. I cannot field calls from 500 people. ABSOLUTELY follow up via email a day or two after submitting letting the hiring manager know how interested and well suited for the position you are, and how much you would love the opportunity to discuss it further, but if it says no calls, don’t call. It is another of those things that does get you noticed, but not in a good way.

    Now I am off to check out these awesome jobs! Thanks, Kelsium!

    1. I have gotten, among others, “lovestodrink@…” “partygirlxxx@” and “casinogambler@”. Really, people?!?!?! Really? This is the initial message you want to send? Lovestodrink was actually applying for a position as an ATTORNEY!! You spent all that money and time on an advanced degree and that is the email address you choose to introduce yourself with? I can’t even.

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