Ladybleeding on the Job

On January 11, 2012 at 1:00 pm in Work

When it comes to being a woman in the workplace, there’s no shortage of challenges and uphill battles to fight. In my office, which is small and run by a stereotype-governed executive director who thinks that all women always carry nail files, these battles are fought up a steeper hill than other places I’ve worked. Until recently, I’ve not given much thought to how difficult it is for some women to carry on doing their job when they’re on their period. Normally, mine are fairly light and only last for about three days. In a strange turn of events, I’ve been bleeding off and on, sometimes gushing, for roughly six weeks. It’s been fucking distracting.

While this is obviously a bad situation, I’m fortunate in that I can stash my supplies in my desk and slip out to the “ladies room” whenever I need to do so. I don’t have to worry about it being too obvious that I’m having “female issues,” as my boss refers to it. I think back to how I might have handled this if I still worked in a restaurant or in retail and there is, literally (I don’t use this word lightly), no way I could have gone about doing my job. I couldn’t have run off to the restroom every 20 minutes, but if I didn’t, I would have had visible stains. It would have been impossible, and ultimately, embarrassing. How do you tell your employer that you have to go home because you’re bleeding all over everything when they’re a man? It makes me cringe to even think about telling any of my former male bosses. If I didn’t have a salaried position with some flexibility, I would have probably lost my job last week.

I know women who have such severe cramping that it’s debilitating; there’s no way for them to make it into the office and sit at a desk for eight hours. Their only option is to save their sick and personal days to spend at home, curled up in a ball, between trips to the bathroom to throw up.

During one of my worst days, I bled through a tampon and pad by the time I made it to my office, which is roughly a 20 minute commute. I had to walk in with blood all over my jeans before I could turn back around and leave to see my doctor. After I was given a prescription to stop the bleeding, I had to walk through a store, stand in line, and wait with blood stains that went half-way down my thighs. There was nothing I could do about it; I didn’t have anything I could tie around my waist, except a yoga mat (I have to admit it was tempting). I felt like every damn shopper in that store was looking and judging; frankly, I was humiliated.

Why is it so hard to talk about something that half the population has dealt with during their lifetime in a professional or public environment? Should we stick with things as they are and just say we have a headache and go home to bleed all over ourselves in private? In all seriousness, I can do that to some extent because I’m privileged enough to have sick days, but that hasn’t always been the case for me, and it certainly isn’t the case for many women who work. I sure as hell couldn’t have told my boss that I needed a special exception and extra time off because of my “female issues.” How would that have helped to further workplace equality?

I would like to know what you, wise readers, think about the politics of bleeding at work. Do you have any period horror stories to share or thoughts on how to work around it when it becomes an issue while on the job?

Get to know Cassandra

Cassandra has crafted 19 article(s) for Persephone Magazine.

Tags: i need all new underwear, no one should bleed this much, prolonged periods, Working women, workplace hell

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72 responses to Ladybleeding on the Job

Jak said on January 12, 2012 at 12:31 am

“‘Feminine protection’: The effects of menstruation on attitudes towards women.” by Roberts, Goldenberg, Power, and Pyszczynski, actually demonstrated that a woman who dropped a tampon out of her purse (as opposed to a hair clip) resulted in people rating her as less competent at her job, decreased their liking for her and caused people to be reluctant to sit close to her. It also showed more objectification of the women. Now, it’s one study, but it’s kind of disturbing. There are plenty of people out there who would actually judge me for having a tampon, something that a person would use hygienically. It’s like judging someone for carrying hand sanitizer. ”Oh no, you anticipate your hands becoming dirty/having contact with germs at some point, you must be less competent! I mean, the rest of us just don’t touch dirt or germy stuff.”

Honestly I think we need to talk about it more and not be ashamed about having it. I’m not ashamed when I have to pee, why should I be ashamed about this? It happens.

I can’t imagine what some people have to do to get by while on their periods. I’ve known people who have had the incredibly horrible ones and they miss so much, but there’s nothing else that can be done (and there’s so much wrong with me having to say that). I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if the dominant group was the one who menstruated.
- Cassandra said on January 12, 2012 at 11:19 am
  
  That is great info. I wish the dominant group could experience menstruation, even if it was only temporary. It can be a horribly embarrassing experience. I remember the first time I bled on a boyfriend’s sheets with a surprisingly early period… it was soooooo humiliating.
Crystal Coleman said on January 11, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I’m fortunate enough to work in an office with three other women, so we’re pretty open about when we’re on cycle. One of my coworkers gets terrible menstrual migraines and I get those and terrible cramps on the first day, so they’re all understanding when we take sick time.

The worst thing is that the stalls don’t have the bins in the stalls for trash, and I use the disposable cups (don’t chase me out of here!), so that can get messy if I end up having a really heavy day and need to change at work.
cuteordeath said on January 11, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I totally feel for you about the prolonged, heavy periods. That’s happened to me twice in my lifetime, the first time when I was 13. It was really scary, especially considering I had only been bleeding at all for less than a year.

I get horribly painful cramps the first day of my period, then I’m pretty much fine after that…but that first day is so bad I usually have to stay home from work. I am lucky to have sick days, and while I haven’t specifically said that the reason I can’t come in is because I need to spend the day curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor, the office I work at is pretty laid back and cares about everyone’s overall health. I did feel a bit awkward when I texted in sick once and the reply I got from my (male) coworker was, “hey, you seem to be sick once a month, is everything okay?” =_=;;
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 7:25 pm
  
  Wow. Bleeding like that during the first year of your period must have been scary! That text was priceless :).
Bangs with Glasses said on January 11, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I can’t use menstrual products that you insert vaginally, so I love my Party in my Pants cloth pads. I have a pretty heavy-duty period, and they’ve made my life a lot less stressful when I’m on my period. They’re WAY comfier than regular pads (they don’t get itchy, smell, or slide around and stick to my skin, haha) and I’ve only had one incident of leaking – that was my fault though, because when they start feeling wet it’s time to change them, and I ignored that; it was still REALLY minor though. Plus, they fold up so you don’t have to worry about your used ones getting your bag or whatever dirty when you’re out and about.

As far as cramping and stuff goes, that’s pretty awful for me, too. Excedrin Back & Body is the best non-prescription medicine that I’ve found so far, but your mileage may very.
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 7:28 pm
  
  OK. I need to investigate this as soon as I’m not at work because I can only imagine what results you get when googling “party in your pants.” Thank you for the info!
  - Bangs with Glasses said on January 11, 2012 at 7:55 pm
    
    Hope it helps! And haha, yeah, I’m sure your executive director would have a fit about that particular search, even if you explained it.
    - Cassandra said on January 12, 2012 at 11:23 am
      
      Well, I’ve actually caught him looking at porn at work twice. That’s a whole different article, though.
Cesy said on January 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm

This was very topical here in New Zealand earlier this year

Basically, this dickwad, who was the head of the Employers And Manufacturers Association (a rather powerful business lobby group) said in an interview that women are paid less than men because they have babies and “once a month they have sick problems”. That’s the actual quote.

Basically there was a huge uproar about this. The gist of the uproar was that it is notions like this that cause the pay inequalities. Dude has no idea about what he is talking about.

The surprising thing about this was he actually lost his job. Totally surprised at that.

http://www.3news.co.nz/Alasdair-Thompson-Sorry-but-its-true/tabid/423/articleID/216242/Default.aspx

Cassandra, my face dropped at your line that you are privileged to have sick days. God I hate labour laws that make people work when sick otherwise they lose their jobs. New Zealand legislates for 5 sick days a year, we’re lucky to have 10 at my work. I’ve actually taken one today (for mild food poisoning). My work place is overwhelmingly women (only the boss is male, and he is incredibly good about us taking time off to deal with personal issues) .
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 7:37 pm
  
  Well, having sick days is a privilege for folks who work hourly jobs and don’t have paid leave; for them, if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. I consider myself fortunate to be able to take the time I need without compromising my monthly income. I’m actually not certain what the labor laws are here regarding sick days, but I will investigate!
  
  I hope you feel better :)!
Katie said on January 11, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I’m dealing with the pre-period cramps and running to the bathroom every 10 minutes because I think I just leaked all over my pants. Which I haven’t.

I find that ladytimes at work and school to sometimes be a great equalizer. One time, in high school, there was this girl who hated me. Like a lot. For no reason. I asked her why she hated me and she said “I just do.” It was that sort of hatred.

Anywho, one day in spanish, we were getting ready to start class and I see that she’s started to leak onto her jeans, but she hadn’t noticed yet. I tapped her on the shoulder and whispered “I think you just got your period” and handed her a tampon. She looked at me gratefully and ran to the bathroom. After that, she was always a hell of a lot nicer to me.
- Cassandra said on January 12, 2012 at 11:37 am
  
  Good on you for being the bigger person and telling her! Once, in middle school, I was on the first heavy day of my period while slouching in my desk in the front row of my French class. Unfortunately, the pad I was wearing was too short to cover me given the way I was sitting. When I stood up to use the restroom, while class was still in session, I had a very visible baseball-sized stain on my jeans… in front of eighth graders. This goes down in history as one of my most embarrassing experiences EVER. My poor Grandmother had to leave work to pick me up and take me home so I could hide.
milly parkhurst said on January 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm

currently sitting in the office with ridiculous cramps. day 3 of period, why are my cramps like they were on day 1??????? it’s making me really cranky, cause i’m nauseous and bloated too. really..really distracting.
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 3:38 pm
  
  Ugh. Sorry! The the only silver lining through all of this for me is that my cramping has been pretty insignificant. I hope they go away!
- [E]SaraB said on January 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm
  
  I know this one! Cramps, especially day 3 cramps, are similar to birthing contractions. Your uterus feels like part of the lining isn’t expelling the way it should, so it is trying to force it out the only way it knows how. Every few months, I get Day 3 cramps, and they are invariably ten times worse than my start-up cramps, which I usually don’t even get. I have literally had to crawl to my bed because I hurt too bad to walk. However, I have found that the only sure way to loosen up my mid-period cramps (other than a strong muscle relaxer and bed) is to force myself to walk, briskly if possible. It encourages things to move, and once the stubborn lining gets expelled the contractions stop and the cramps go away.
Moretta said on January 11, 2012 at 2:58 pm

There are a lot of different causes of prolonged bleeding or flooding. I had that problem in my 30s and it was a nightmare. However, I learned that in my case it was caused by, and in turn exacerbating, anemia. I started taking iron supplements on the first few days of my periods and that really, REALLY helped.
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 3:40 pm
  
  Interesting that anemia would be the cause, that wouldn’t have occurred to me. I’m glad you found a good fix for it! I have no idea what’s causing it for me, but we’re working on that :).
Millie said on January 11, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I’m a grad student who’s currently flaked out on the couch with cramps (which are apparently undaunted even by my fantastic Wonder Drugs today)! Fortunately it’s very straightforward for me to work from home, and my supervisor isn’t particular about me being in the building every single day, and I thank my lucky stars every month about that. I hope you’re feeling better soon — that sounds really lousy to deal with :(

As for how to deal with it when it comes up unavoidably, I am all for being upfront about my ladybusiness, and watching people (usually men) squirm. It’s not like we have a choice about what our uterii do — if they’re gonna bleed, they’re gonna bleed, and they need tending to when they do. If men get squirmy about it, that’s their issue, not mine — my uterus will need tending regardless of a man’s case of cultural cooties.
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 3:52 pm
  
  Oh no! I’m glad that you’re at home and are able to hide from the world and rest :).
  
  I like your approach and wish for every woman, that it can be that easy to tend to tend to our ladybleeding!
Anne S said on January 11, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I’m an hourly employee in the entertainment industry, so the work varies: intensely physical to office-y, outdoor/indoor, blue-collar/white-collar. No such thing as sick days or paid time off, so I’m grateful to not be dealing with the severe symptoms many women have–I see no way much of my work could get done if I had to have restroom access more than every couple of hours tops. (Thank you, my union, for the coffee breaks every 2-2.5 hours or so. Often I need them for more than coffee IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND I THINK YOU DO.)

One thing I want to mention that has not been pointed out: outdoor jobsites with no restrooms as such can be a bitch. If you’re working outdoors, your hands get dirty–even if you are wearing work gloves. Port-a-potties can only handle so much, and even the deluxe ones don’t involve handwashing facilities, at least not good enough to turn filthy, grimy hands into things you want near your hygiene products or your bits. The only embarrassment I’ve ever had at work involved a conversation with my supervisor about why I really, honestly needed someone to unlock a nearby building so I could scrub my hands clean. We’re a pretty blunt group, and he wasn’t squeamish, but I discovered the limit of things I wanted to discuss at work. Now I carry disposable surgical gloves in my toolbag, so it won’t be an issue again.
- Millie said on January 11, 2012 at 2:29 pm
  
  I am so stealing the “take some disposable rubber gloves with you when you can’t wash your hands as well as you’d like” idea should the situation ever arise. Brilliant!
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm
  
  You’re absolutely right, I didn’t address women specifically who work outdoors and have access to questionable facilities. I don’t know how anyone working in conditions like that would have made it through this, which is an obvious problem. Good idea with the gloves!!
  - twiddle said on January 11, 2012 at 7:49 pm
    
    UGH! I’m totally one of those women (or half the time I am) who work outdoors! I’m a fisheries biologist, which is really not a woman dominated field. This last summer I was doing research with a small crew of underlings (read: undergrad guys who think fishing is fun). Standing in chest-waders in a freezing cold stream, I get my period unexpectedly. A 2km hike into the woods. A half hour drive from our housing. In the middle of the hot summer. So I bled into my chest waders for six hours…. Luckily (I guess?) since they’re waterproof blood does not soak through. At the end of the day, I left my waders on, drove the truck home, and walked right into the shower with them on.
    
    The entire week was full of such gems…. blarg.
Marginally said on January 11, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I’ve been very lucky. Most of my male bosses and professors have been very accommodating, some going as far as to offer rides home to women whose cramps were severe enough that they needed to go home.

Unfortunately, one of my male employers decided that women (who made up the vast majority of his employees) were going to the bathroom too much, and were only allowed one bathroom break per eight hour shift. Those of us who refused to accept his bullshit received marks against us for every “extra” trip.
- books-and-chocolate said on January 11, 2012 at 2:23 pm
  
  That’s absurd! Even when I’m not bleeding I’m in the bathroom every 2-3 hours thanks to a small bladder and a caffeine addiction. You can’t tell anyone how often is too often
  - Meghan Young Krogh said on January 11, 2012 at 2:48 pm
    
    …I would seriously look into your state’s labor laws. I don’t think that’s actually a reasonable limitation; I’m pretty sure most states allow for at least 2 15-minute breaks + a lunch break in a shift of that length.
    - Marginally said on January 11, 2012 at 6:33 pm
      
      Unfortunately, most of my state’s “labor laws” seem set up specifically to harm workers. Getting worker’s comp is damn near impossible, and employers have the right to fire any individual with no notice, no explanation, and no severance package.
      
      Some businesses (like coffee shops, as this was), no one makes sure you actually get breaks. It is not uncommon for baristas to be alone or part of a “crew” of two people for that length of time, regardless of how busy the shop is. The rationale is that (supposedly) workers have down time between customers. It’s incredibly unethical, and wanders into a grey area, but in my experience, the state doesn’t really care.
      - Jak said on January 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm
        
        Yes, I remember trying to pry worker’s comp out of their hands even though the situation clearly called for it. It’s nothing near pretty or simple, that’s for sure.
[M] QoB said on January 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm

My sympathies! Rotten situation to be in, and I’m so sorry there wasn’t anyone at work you could ask to, I don’t know, go to the pharmacy for you or give you a lend of a coat or something. Yikes. I hope your doctor is investigating properly, as well.
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm
  
  Thank you! A long coat would have been pretty handy :).
Erika said on January 11, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Typically I’m never sick (Knock on wood), so i’ll take a day off on heavy days. I dont see it as a cop out, because If I’m cramping there’s no way I can be productive.

If not I’ll make sure I have my discrete and stylish coin purse which is big enough to hold my tamps, pads and pills. If I forget it, I hide my tamps in my longsleeve and walk to the bathroom stealthily. I also bring enough tea and a heating pad for my feet (My office can be really cold). I work independently so I dont have many awkward moments when Its comes to stuff like that. Thankfully.
CorinaDee said on January 11, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I once worked at a company in the Alberta Oilsands (oh god, the horror!) for a summer. I was in the trucking division and let me tell you, there were very few women (I worked alone so I never truly got to see the exact ratio). There were lots of issues regarding sexism and the like, but one thing I was always pleased with was the companies attitude towards menstruation. In all their washrooms, they provided free pads and tampons (of a variety of absorbencies)! I loved it. I never had to worry about a sudden early arrival (though to be fair, I was on the pill so that didn’t really happen that often) and there was none of that awkward, “You have a spare tampon?” business. Say what you will about the evils of oil companies, but they at least got one thing right!

Also, Diva Cup. I will say nothing else.
- Kortney Thoma said on January 11, 2012 at 3:45 pm
  
  Wow! Your employer rocked! If only everyone could be so considerate–I’ve had to ask strangers too many times to spare a pad or tampon. And yes, DIVA CUP. Changemyevahlovinglife!
  - CorinaDee said on January 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm
    
    I know, right?
    
    I honestly sometimes feel tempted to warn ladies I see shopping for menstrual products. I just want to jump up and down and say, “There is something SO much better, provided you are comfortable with insertion!” I haven’t quite figured out how to phrase it without seeming:
    
    a) insane
    
    b) creepy
    
    c) some annoying combination of the above.
    
    It’s bizarre how vocal menstrual cups make their users.
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 4:05 pm
  
  OK. I keep hearing about the Diva cup and I think I’m nervous about trying something like that, mostly because I have a vivid imagination. How on earth do you get it out without making an absolute mess?
  - CorinaDee said on January 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm
    
    You do it while sitting over the toilet!
    
    I remove it while either gripping the sides or the stem and wiggling it back and forth until the seal slowly breaks. Then I just slide it out keeping it upright (or near to it). Or at least that’s how I do it. And then I empty the blood into the toilet, wipe up the little remainder with toilet paper, and reinsert. If I’m home I’ll give it a more thorough washing. It sounds way more complicated than it actually is. It just took awhile to get the hang of it (about a period worth of trial) and now I don’t spill much at all!
    
    And sometimes, blood does go everywhere on my bits and hands (surprisingly rarely on the toilet/seat). I just use little wet wipes to clean up.
    
    For any other questions, I highly recommend: http://menstrual-cups.livejournal.com/
  - [M] QoB said on January 11, 2012 at 6:43 pm
    
    What CorinaDee said. Or the shower is good too.
[E]SaraB said on January 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm

It doesn’t happen to me very often, I can only think of about four times in the last ten years, but when it does I will totally take advantage of a man’s discomfort and say I need to leave because of “feminine issues” so I won’t need to answer any more questions. If I need to leave because of my period, I need to leave NOW and I am willing to play into the stereotype to make that happen.

I think it is difficult because we are fighting against two things:

1. Thousands of years of cultural stigma about a woman being unclean/untouchable during her period. Even though we are becoming more enlightened, it will take time to fully get past the cultural echoes.

2. I think it is hard for men to get past the idea that bleeding means something is wrong and it needs to be fixed. We learn to accept menstrual blood is a part of life and nothing to be alarmed about when we go through puberty, but men never have that. For guys and young girls, blood=injury and it needs to be stopped. I truly believe that, on an instinctual level, a lot of guys can’t understand how we can know that we are bleeding and still walk around like things are normal, instead of halting everything until we have made it stop. It goes against the grain and it makes them uncomfortable.
- Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 4:13 pm
  
  I think it is hard for men to get past the idea that bleeding means something is wrong and it needs to be fixed.
  
  Interesting point!
  - [E]SaraB said on January 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm
    
    It doesn’t excuse them being jackasses about it, but I feel better when I can find an underlying reason to explain behavior.
Meghan Young Krogh said on January 11, 2012 at 1:22 pm

At my last heinous job, there were only two women in the company. We quit or were fired on the same day. The other one had a debilitating condition that rendered her period unspeakably painful; she showed me the massive prescriptions she’d been given to grit her teeth and get through it, but she still needed to take a lot of work-from-home days so she could writhe in agony without having to explain it repeatedly to the mens, who were all convinced she was a liar and a fake. That was pretty hard to watch; not so much her condition (though, awful) but the dudes’ reaction to it. It was way unfriendly.

At current work, we are a women-oriented company; our userbase is women. It’s a much, much friendlier environment. One of my coworkers has pretty severe monthly cramps, and no one has ever batted an eyelash when she’s said she needs to go home early or work from home to deal with it. We have factored additional tylenol into the company kitchen budget specifically so she can get through those days. In other words: here, it is okay to be a bleeding lady with lady issues. There are dudes, and it’s not like we all sit around chatting about our periods all day, but menstruation is a comfortable enough topic that no one has to worry if they need to go change their pants, take a day off, or ask for more Tylenol. And that has been a nice feeling.
- Dr. Song said on January 11, 2012 at 1:31 pm
  
  Where do you work, because I want to be your new office temp.
  - Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 1:43 pm
    
    You beat me to it! Could we work out some kind of a schedule? A temp-share?
    - Meghan Young Krogh said on January 11, 2012 at 1:54 pm
      
      Ha. We are looking for a UX Engineer, if anyone has teh skillz.
      - Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm
        
        Well, considering that I don’t even know what a UX Engineer is, I’m probably not qualified. Darn.
        
        Meghan Young Krogh said on January 11, 2012 at 4:53 pm
        
        :D User Experience; ie: equal parts web designer and web engineer. It’s one of those standard tech industry jobs that’s remarkably difficult to hire for.
        
        After we get our new round of funding I am totally pushing for more customer support, help, though.
Lauren sMash said on January 11, 2012 at 1:22 pm

You would think that given my circumstances (really small office and I’m the only woman working full time) this is a situation that would have come up, but it hasn’t been much of an issue. My worst days have been more manageable, I just have to get up every 3 hours or so to put new ones in, and I keep a box at my desk.

I think if I needed extra time off because of ladybleeding issues, I would phrase it as a “medical issue”- not because I’m trying to gloss over the fact that it has to do with my uterus. I would say it because excessive bleeding is exactly that: a medical issue. I wouldn’t elaborate further into details about any other medical problem, because what is going on with my body is really not my employer’s business at all. Issues with my period are no different. Uterus problems are equal to problems with any other part of the body, so it shouldn’t have much to do with workplace equality.

Also, people hate hearing about other people’s sickness in general, so to avoid sounding like my grandmother who is the Queen of the Overshare, I shy away from divulging too many details about my medical issues.
Nichole Wilson said on January 11, 2012 at 1:17 pm

It has taken me YEARS to get to a point where I’m familiar enough with my cycle (and it’s actually gotten somewhat regular) that I don’t have too many “accidents.” I’ve never had to deal with ruined pants at work but it has happened to me in the past, and I honestly don’t understand how I didn’t literally die from embarrassment. (I have to wonder: if we polled uterus-havers, how many have experienced that particular shame? Probably way more than you’d think.)

At work, I make sure I’m wearing pants with pockets I can stash tampons in. And I run to the bathroom to check obsessively for leaking. Because sometimes things are flowing along normally (pun fully intended), until all of a sudden it’s like ALL THE BLOOD in my body is leaving it at once.
- [E]SaraB said on January 11, 2012 at 1:52 pm
  
  I will totally ask this as Friday’s Lunchtime Poll. We can all share our pants changing pain.
  
  And it’s also nice to know that I’m not the only one who has had to run to the bathroom thinking “Holy crap, did my body just decide to have my entire period all at once!?!”
  - Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm
    
    I will be watching for Friday’s LTP!
Caitlinface said on January 11, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I’m never afraid to ask for a bathroom break while I’m on the clock (food service hurrah), but I get profound and perverse enjoyment from watching my male manager squirm a little when I say “hey boss, gotta go do some LADY THINGS.”
- Meghan Young Krogh said on January 11, 2012 at 1:25 pm
  
  LOL.
- Kiisu said on January 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm
  
  This reminds me of middle school when my friends and I figured out that we could get out of most sticky situations with the vice principal by citing “feminine issues” whether or not they were actually occuring. Caught in the hallway without a hall pass? Feminine issues! Dawdling around after the lunch bell? Feminine issues! He would get all flustered and mumble, “Oh, yes, of course, go, go, go!”
Susan said on January 11, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I’ve bled all over everything, everywhere, but once I started using the Diva Cup*, it’s become a thing of the past. Occasionally it’ll leak, so I wear a pantyliner, but I can go most of the day without a problem. I forgot it somewhere and had to use tampons for a few days, over the course of which I think I ruined every pair of underwear and seat cushion that I have – tampons get full so fast!

*I know, I hate how sanctimonious Diva Cup users get, too. BUT I CAN’T HELP IT.
- Dr. Song said on January 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm
  
  I use little sea sponges. You can buy them at art stores and use them for months. I can’t tell how much money I’ve saved by switching to Geico those little critters. Just make sure you boil them first.
  - veruna said on January 11, 2012 at 2:14 pm
    
    Hey, I’ve never heard of using sea sponges before. Could you explain a bit more? What it is, looks like, feels like, sanitation, etc? I’d really appreciate it.
    - Dr. Song said on January 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm
      
      Totally! Essentially, you wear the sea sponge like a tampon – you stick it up there and haul it out whenever it gets full. Unlike a tampon, though, you can’t get toxic shock from it, and it’s reusable. They last for years if you take proper care of them – just pull it out every 4-6 hours, squeeze the blood out, was it THOROUGHLY with soap and water, and put it back in! You can’t feel them at all when you’re wearing them as there aren’t any rigid surfaces – they actually do conform to the inside of your vagina like magic. Some ladies make little tails for them out of dental floss so they’re easier to pull out.
      
      You do need to be seriously ready to do some delving around in there for the first few times you wear it, though. They get really, um, slippery. Also,when they’re full, they don’t so much “leak” as “explode like paint bombs”, but you can figure out their capacity through trial and error.
      
      I paid $5 for a four pack three years ago at an art store and they’re still going strong! If you wash them properly they’ll last forever until the cell structure starts to break down. They also retain a lovely seaweedy smell that doesn’t stink, but doesn’t feel like you sprayed perfume up your hooha, either.
      
      NOTE: Make sure you get sponges that used to actually be alive, as opposed to, like, a dish sponge or something. They look like this:
      - Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 4:59 pm
        
        What do you do while you’re washing it out? Do you bleed all over the place?
        
        Dr. Song said on January 12, 2012 at 7:24 am
        
        I don’t have very heavy periods, so I often just take it out in the shower, wash it thoroughly, then reinsert after I get out (putting in a waterlogged sponge is a bad idea, you’ll leak water like a cheap raft!). It takes like maybe thirty seconds to do, though, and in emergencies I’ve just wadded up some paper in my pants to catch any wayward drops.
- [M] QoB said on January 11, 2012 at 2:03 pm
  
  We’re contractually obliged! It’s in that contract the Diva Cup people make us sign with the contents of the first cup use.
  - Millie said on January 11, 2012 at 2:35 pm
    
    Am I the only lady whose bits and the Diva cup unfortunately have some sort of shape mismatching thing going on? I swear I’m the only lady who’s tried it and not been all “BEST THING EVER” and it bums me out :(
    - Susan said on January 11, 2012 at 3:23 pm
      
      I haaaaaated my Diva Cup for the first…six months or so. Really hated it. I kept trimming off more of the end, and it was really uncomfortable, and even if I got it in there so I couldn’t feel it, it would slide down and feel like somebody was jabbing me in the clit. Which doesn’t like to be jabbed. I had to go into the bathroom regularly just to pull down my pants and shove it back up.
      
      I kept using it, though, because I’m really, really cheap, and I didn’t want to buy tampons, and every cycle, it got a little better.
      
      Now, it’s totally fine. I don’t know if I broke it in, or if I just got better at it, or what.
      
      But I definitely hated it at first.
      - Cassandra said on January 11, 2012 at 5:00 pm
        
        How do you get it out?? I’ve never tried one, but my imagination predicts messy disasters…
    - Susan said on January 11, 2012 at 3:24 pm
      
      What I really think is going on is that it eventually softened up with use and sort of molded to my apparently weirdly shaped vagina.
    - [M] QoB said on January 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm
      
      The Diva cup is not the only cup (I use the Mooncup, for example, naff names FTW) so it could be that there’d be a longer/shorter/wider/narrower one out there that’d suit you better. It could also be there’s a different folding technique that’d be more comfortable for you. The ladies at the Menstrual Cup bible aka here should be able to troubleshoot; there is a size chart here that shows the Diva as one of the longest cups, so depending on what’s not comfortable about it it might be worth trying a shorter oneI’m certain you’re definitely not the only person who hasn’t liked the Diva cup.
      - [E] Slay Belle said on January 11, 2012 at 3:57 pm
        
        I’m an Instead cup user, which I’m sometimes afraid to admit because I’m sure I’ll be hunted down by the Diva gang.
        
        Meghan Young Krogh said on January 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm
        
        I’ll cast a charm of protection over you to shield you from the other Divas.
        
        Crystal Coleman said on January 11, 2012 at 8:29 pm
        
        Yay! Another Instead user! I have the same worries. We’re a gang of two!
        
        I keep meaning to switch to the DivaCup, but I get sticker shock (I know, it doesn’t make sense) and I worry that it won’t fit and I’ll end up going back to Instead anyway.
- Lucille-McGillicuddy said on January 11, 2012 at 2:42 pm
  
  I was going to post about the diva cup, too! I know my zeal for it is probably super-irritating but, seriously, it is life-changing.

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