I know “seitan” has a totally inoffensive pronunciation, but in my household, it is always pronounced “say-tan.” Yep, just like El Diablo himself. I’d expect myself to grow out of thinking that calling texturized wheat gluten the same name as the Dark Lord (wait is that Satan or Voldemort? Or both?), but given my “advanced” age, I don’t know that there’s much more growing up I can do.
But the ability to chuckle about how sinful my food is and how far it has fallen and how its presence in my kitchen makes it a hell on earth is definitely not the best thing about having seitan sitting around. For starters, it has a really A+ texture. For seconders, it’s just fun to cook with. And for thirders, I like how it tastes. Have you ever had a pulled seitan sandwich? It’s the best veg* alternative to pulled pork and it’s just as messy. It is a BBQ party in your mouth (and, due to the messiness, on your hands, face, and shirt).
Today isn’t about BBQ, though: today is about soup! What’s better on a blustery winter’s day than a big old bowl of seitan noodle soup? Nothing, that’s what. Here’s how you can make that dream a reality in your home:
- 3 celery stalks
- 1 yellow onion (or a half if you don’t like onion as much as I do)
- 3 carrots
- 4 cloves of garlic
- 1 package of seitan
- 4 cups of broth
- 1 box of noodles (your choice)
- 1 tablespoon of olive oil
- 1-2 bay leaves
- Salt and pepper to taste
Then, chop up the celery, onion, and carrots into soup-sized pieces (I like them big, but not so big they can’t fit on a spoon). Heat them in a pan with the olive oil until the onion is nice and translucent. In a pot, get the broth, garlic, cooked veggies, herbs and spices, and seitan together. Let it simmer for a while. In the meantime, cook the pasta. Once the soup has been simmering for 20-30 minutes, add the pasta. Let it cook for another 5 or so, then turn off the heat and ladle.