Hello hello! I’m testing out a new column here, or should I say, a NEWS column here (get it? New/news? It’s always best to start out with a pun). Because our commenters are so wonderful and thoughtful, I thought it would be nice to have a gathering place to discuss the latest headlines and figure out just how quickly the world is going to hell and in which kind of handbasket.
So, without further ado:
Gallup says that Santorum is up by 8 points over Romney nationwide. He is running ads in Michigan, focusing on “values.” I would like to take this opportunity to make a joke about surging Santorum, but I can’t. I can’t. WTF, America.
Related: Santorum is against prenatal testing because he thinks it increases abortions, and right now my keyboard is about to spontaneously combust with all of the angry typing and then angry erasing and then angry typing that I am doing. Fuck you, Rick Santorum.
So, you heard about the ESPN headline, right? About Jeremy Lin? [TRIGGER WARNING FOR RACISM] ESPN ran a headline about the Knicks’ loss on Friday; the Knicks had been having very unexpected success and a rags-to-NBA-stardom story with their player Jeremy Lin, who is of Taiwanese descent. The headline: “Chink in the Armor.” The upshot: ESPN fired the writer of the headline. The downshot: HAVE WE NOT GOTTEN PAST THIS BULLSHIT YET?
Iran has suspended oil exports to British and French companies. This is apparently in response to sanctions against Iran from the West, which are in response to Iran getting nuclear weapon capabilities, which is in response to the rest of the world having nuclear weapon capabilities, which is in response to oh fuck, everything is in response to everything. This is all sorts of scary on all sorts of levels. One: when are we going to figure out how to manage without oil? Two: isn’t there a better way? Three: why is macho still the default button that is pressed when it comes to international relations?
A suicide bomb in Iraq killed 15 people and wounded 21 others. It was targeting a police academy. WHY IS VIOLENCE THE ONLY WAY? Why are there people so desperate that this seems like a good idea?
Oh hey, more violence. 38 people killed in a Mexico prison riot. But! There is a female presidential candidate (the first one!) that is going to battle machismo if she gets elected. Josefina Vazquez Mota is an economist and will hopefully win and get things back under control.
And… Homs, Syria, continues to be a place of horror and tragedy at the hands of Bashar al-Assad. CNN writes: “After 16 straight days of bombardment, Homs is such an incessantly bleeding wound that Syrians speak of it now as though it were a norm,” which is the saddest sentence I have seen so far. I feel so helpless with this situation. Oh hey, look, it’s happening in Zabadani, too.
A teenage mother and her 1-year-old daughter were found shot in a garage in Cleveland. According to CNN, “Thomas Lorde, the estranged boyfriend of 19-year-old Latasha Jackson and the father of 1-year-old Chaniya Wynn, was found next to them, dead of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, police said Sunday.” I don’t know what this means. Is this domestic violence? Is this the boyfriend coming upon them and being distraught? It is sickening regardless, and I don’t want to put a value on “sickening,” but if there is an element of male-to-female intimate partner violence… when is this shit going to end?
Okay, enough of the violence. Here are some less horrifying stories:
Linguists say that social media may be helping to keep endangered languages alive, which is super, super cool.
Experts have decided to put off deciding whether or not they should publish data on H1N1. I don’t know what to think about this, Persephoneers. On one hand, knowledge is power! On the other hand, knowledge is power. What do you think?
Looks like Joachim Gauck is going to be the new president of Germany. He seems like a good guy: he was a dissident in East Germany and helped to expose the Stasi war crimes. He is a member of the Social Democrats and Greens party, and Angela Merkel supports him.
Carnival has begun in Brazil. Related: Anybody know of any cheap tickets to Brazil?
Whitney Houston’s funeral was held. So, so sad.
Lindsay Lohan is going to host SNL which isn’t that important, really, but whenever I think of Lindsay Lohan I think of that amazing little girl in The Parent Trap and I can’t help but root for her. Come on, Lindsay. You can do this.
Two British boxers got into a huge fight after one of them got beaten by Vitali Klitschko. I am only including this because I am a Ukrainophile. Carry on.
So. Hopefully this whets your appetite for the main meal, which can be found at any of the links. Also, hopefully the world will change for the better soon, because there is some fucking awful shit happening out there.