P’neers, I Think This is the Beginning of a Beautiful Weekend Open Thread

We are wrapping things up here in the [imaginary, but whatever] P-Mag headquarters. We’ve had a pretty awesome week, and it is time to get this weekend started. I am ready to get chatty all up in this open thread, how about you?

A few “business-y” reminders:

  1. Slay Belle announced on Monday that this month’s book club selection will be The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Grab your copies and be ready to discuss in a few weeks!
  2. To the new members still slowly trickling in, be sure to check out pileofmonkeys’ wonderful post telling you all about how P-Mag works.
  3. If you run into any bugs Easter eggs, as Selena prefers to call them, be sure to tell us about them in Selena’s bug-catching post.
  4. And finally, I know y’all want to be connected to P-Mag all the time, so be sure to follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Pinterest. (No, this isn’t a shameless plug because it’s my job to run the social media, not at all…)

Have a good weekend, everyone! See you in the comments.

Oh, and 100 points to the first 10 people to get the movie reference.

1,117 thoughts on “P’neers, I Think This is the Beginning of a Beautiful Weekend Open Thread”

  1. So, um, if there’s some specific area for introductions somewhere around here, I haven’t noticed…

    I’ll go by Ren here. I used to have a Jezebel account under a different alias, but it stopped working somewhere around the leaked passwords debacle, and as I was feeling rather ambivalent about the place by that point anyway, I settled for occasional lurking mostly because of the commentariat… and witnessing the recent exodus, decided to follow.  I’m not a native English speaker, and not that eloquent or witty to begin with, so I’ll probably end up not contributing much to conversations, even when I enjoy reading them. I also have issues, a long-term BF, a nearly-completed PhD dissertation, an underpaid job that I usually quite like and a grasp of a number of languages. My main hobby lately is teaching myself Japanese, because why the hell not. Yoroshiku. m(_ _)m

        1. I was pretty sure it was dead, until now. Thanks a lot, @maus .

          Also, your English is much better than most native-speakers. Hold on, let me scour the internet for a good pic of some SUV with window-paint proclaiming “This is Amerika – if your hear you should speak Amerikan!”

          1. That’s kind of you to say, and I shouldn’t regard the Internet as some kind of an open eloquence contest in the first place, but still, at the areas clearly populated with smart people, I’m constantly aware that I’m running at maaaaaaaaybe 80% of the expressive capability I have in my ‘default’ language, possibly less. Not the greatest feeling.

  2. So, what are you all doing tonight? I’m taking my airship to the opera, and then I have to do laundry. My stacked, mustachioed chauffeur’s name is Hieronymus. On stage, however, he is known as Lucy Knickerbocker.

    My washing machine is also stacked, and is named is Crap-o Sucktastic Can’t Clean Clothes.

    1. You’re funny. And now I know I can never go out in style without a mechanical shark with four spindly chicken feet to ride around town.

      To answer the question, the plan is to learn 8 more kanji and head to bed (it’s 2 AM here).

  3. Hmm. So I went on an OKCupid date today and dude and I had a two hour conversation at a coffee shop, at which point I became anxious about homework and decided to leave (except then I went and bought nail polish and took a nap and rewatched Game of Thrones and have not done the homework, but I digress). Anyway, he was nice and pretty interesting and although we have lots of geeky things in common, we didn’t even get to that stuff! BUT. There is always a but.

    Here are the things that are sort of niggling my brain:

    a) I’m not sure if I’m attracted to him. I think sort of not.

    b) He’s lived alone for ten years. Now, I live alone, but ten years is a long time. How weird do you get if you live alone for ten years? I guess it’s important to note that I’m sort of looking for a serious relationship which would eventually involve cohabitation if everything worked out.

    c) Although he’s a photographer and videographer and worked in IT for years, he doesn’t have a college degree. I would like to think this doesn’t matter, but it bugs me just a little.

    d) I don’t think he has a lot of friends in this city. Why can’t he make friends?!

    None of these are dealbreakers, but they are enough that I feel like maybe we’re not an even match? I’m not really stressing about it, and I think I’d go out with him again, but I do suspect I’m being a narcissistic freak. Thoughts?

    1. Out of all the things you listed, ATTRACTION is the most important, in my opinion. If you don’t feel physically/sexually attracted to him, it might not work out. I’ve heard that some people eventually become attracted to someone they’re seeing . . . Are you usually initially attracted to the men you date/start relationships with? In any case, since you two have “lots of geeky things in common,” perhaps a couple of more dates are in order?

      b), c), and d) just don’t seem that important (but that’s just my opinion!).

      1. This sounds pretty accurate to me! I mean, if a second date is in the suggested and sounds like fun, go for it; if not on either count, meh. You’re not being a narcissistic freak at all; you’re just not feeling it, and these are the reasons that seem like maybe they “explain” why.

        1. I think you’re both right. My litmus test is generally that if I wouldn’t be disappointed that we didn’t go on a second date, then he’s probably not going to have a profound impact on my life or anything. And if I thought he were pants-explodingly awesome, I wouldn’t give a crap about the other stuff.

          Thanks! Redeem these puppies any time you need impromptu therapy:

    2. I hear you, I always go through the same list of BUTs, so you’re not being nitpicky. (Or maybe we’re both being nitpicky?)

      I always get really freaked out about finding out whether or not a guy has friends, and am usually relieved to find when he does. Because if he doesn’t, then he’ll want to hang out with me all the time and I’ll start to hate him or something. And, it’s nice to know that he’s a generally sociable person/not an axe murderer, right?

      Do you know his reasons for living alone/not going to college? I feel like you have to be vaguely intelligent at the very least/be able to read to work in IT; are you more worried that he’s unintelligent, or that you have different life experiences (you don’t have to answer that, I’m just putting you on my freud couch.)? Anyway, I think the reasons are important.

      (And, there’s no problem with not wanting to pursue it, if it turns out you just don’t like him.)

      1. He quit undergrad because he was going for computer stuff, and ended up getting the job he was going for about a year and a half in, and then just ended up working there for like 10 years. Then he switched careers and seems to be doing fine with that too! I don’t know much about the living alone thing or the friend thing! He’s friendly and doesn’t seem weird, and this is coming from my extremely critical eye, and he does have friends I think, just maybe not many? He has been in this city for about a year and a half, so that seems like enough time?

        We’ll probably go out again, but I just don’t think there’s any physical chemistry on my part.

        I want to like one of them already! This is annoying!

        1. That sounds pretty much like my entire OKCupid experience to date; let’s give up on boys just get married to each other instead. I bake cookies, and it’s legal in NY. Gay marriage, and cookies too.

          You may have to be one of many wives, as I frequently propose to strangers and female friends when I get frustrated with men, so I hope my awesome cookies make up for gay polygamy if it’s not your thing.

    3. It’s one thing to have standards and quite another to make a list to justify why you didn’t hit it off with someone. I have the same problem, so you’re not alone!

      I think you should see him again and see if you feel anything more and if you don’t, put him in the friend zone. The last guy from OKC that I went on a date with was almost the same situation. He was super nice and attentive and reasonably attractive but I just didn’t feel it. I ended up bruising his heart a bit I think, which made me feel awful, because he was super into me but its better to cut it off early rather than get involved with someone you know isn’t going be a long term option (if that’s what you’re looking for).

      1. This makes me want to create a business card that says:

        “You’ve just been FRIEND ZONED!

        Please let’s talk about reruns of Battlestar Galactica whenever possible, with the understanding that we will never see one another naked. Ever. For all time.”

  4. If I had any hair, this would be about when I would tear it out.

    I only have three months left of this uni year, and I’ve been stressing out SO MUCH about having 6 deadlines and two exams between now and then. I don’t handle stress very well and winter is a terrible time for me anyway, so I’ve mostly been feeling overwhelmed and black cloudy, which then leads to me shouting or crying at my boyfriend. He’s admitted it’s wearing on him, and I feel bad, and so then I apologise to him but it keeps on cycling back. Mostly grrrrrrr at uni work and grrrrrr at my emotions. And grrrrrrrr at my uni for making all the deadlines Monday 9am! I can’t enjoy my weekends when in all likelihood I will be doing SOME work over them!

    I just don’t know how I’m going to get through the next three months. On top of this I’m supposed to find a work placement, but I am having about zero luck. Everyone tells me that uni stress is normal but all I feel is that I’m soooooo not cut out for this. It’s not really any worse than last year, except that I decided I wanted to TRY this year and I’m still not doing much better. In conversation this is approximately where I start talking gibberish because there are just NO MORE WORDS FOR HOW I FEEL. /complain

    1. Well, you’ll do it because you will! It’s only three months, and you just go one assignment at a time. Also, be nice to yourself, so maybe you don’t feel so stressed!

      Sometimes I start the mountains of studying by doing something simple that makes me feel like I accomplished something, like painting my nails or doing the dishes, because then it’s like I’ve already successfully completed one thing and the awesome just cannot stop there.

      1. I know I’ll do it! Feeling a lot more relaxed now. Treating myself to wine and nail art videos. I really need to try newspaper nails one day!

        I’m the opposite with work. If there’s something I know needs to be done, I won’t do anything else, because I feel like if I’m going to be productive I should be productive with the things I need to do. Not that I don’t need to do dishes… *glances guiltily at pile of dishes* but they are a lower priority! So it’s work or nothing. Normally nothing, for a long time, and then DO ALL THE WORK! I am trying to break out of that pattern, though.

        1. I’m the same way, actually! But if I can motivate myself to do the one thing, it’s easier to get on with everything else. The motivating… I have not yet harnessed that power.

          And I love you for introducing me to the concept of newspaper nails. Those are awesome.


  5. Ladies, I present you with a collection of quotes from the grade school comic book drawing class I am teaching in hopes that they may provide some amusement:

    “Cthulhu has a squid where his nose should be.”

    “Ahhh, I’m a zombie tree. Could someone get this squirrel off my arm.”

    “A grappling hook!” (In response to the question “What are some things that let you know that a character is a good guy?”)

    “Where you alive when nickelodeons were invented?” (I know I seem old to you kids, but I am not one-hundred and seven years old)

    Seriously though, I have a whole new respect for teachers. There are only eight kids in my class and it is like herding cats to keep them on task. This gets even harder when they are making you laugh. It is way fun to teach kids about art though because it’s like they have no filter. They don’t worry about if it’s good or not they just make things.

    1. I love the grappling hook one!

      There’s a book my parents (who both teach) used to have called “Non Campus Mentis” that compiled gems likes this – y’know, “Caesar was murdered on the Yikes of March,” and “…they all worshiped a big god called Yahoo” and so on. I would like to give a copy of that book to every single teacher everywhere. It’s ok to laugh when you read this stuff. Little kids have no filter, and older students do not understand that spell-check cannot solve all of their woes.

  6. I feel like a HUGE creeper right now you guys.

    I have a new tumblr where I take pictures of the state I live in. This guy started following me so I looked at his blog (as I always do when someone starts following me). I saw that he went to the same school I went to so I sent him a message telling him how cool I thought that was.

    Only after I sent him the message and started following him back did I realize that he’s in the same class with me and that he’s dating a friend of mine. Him and I haven’t actually met before. I feel weird.

    1. He. I don’t think it’s creepy- it’s just the way of the world with the Internet. My husband and I are both active in local social media, and it happens to me all the time. I’m communicating with someone for business, and then we stumble upon the fact that our paths have crossed before, only we didn’t know it due to screen names/avatars, etc!

    2. I just found out that one of my best friend’s friends (I know this girl but we’ve only met a handful of times) is following me on tumblr.

      At least you messaged the person. I have no idea how long this chick has been following me, and honestly it weirds me out a little.

  7. So long as plugs for groups aren’t considered gauche… check out Persephoneer Skeptics . We seem to have a good mix of members and types of discussion so far! (Not a new group, but since it seems invites can only be sent to “friends,” and I’m also terribly afraid of sending an unwanted second invite to someone who may have already rejected, I though I’d put this here.)

          1. It sucks when you get a case of the Shys. Happens too often.

            But we wrote these messages, so that’s a start.

            ::please gentle giant jesus don’t let there be a huge faux pas in this comment::

    1. Oh, “twinsies”! (I hate when people say that!) My hair is nearly at my waist. You, ladybird, are a brave soul. My hair is my security blanket. My sister just cut hers into a bob yesterday (from past her shoulders), and it is cute. I am clearly offering no help here. I have always thought about cutting mine into a bob, but I have Body Issues, and I am afraid that cutting it would make me look fat(ter). I envy those who are able to cut of their hair with abandon.

      I would suggest going shorter–say, to mid-back, and see how that goes, so it’s not such a shock. I’m projecting here, so again, I’m no help. I’ll just shut up now.

    2. It’s your hair, and you should of course do what you want (I’m able to say this cuz these are teh internets; in real life, I freak the hell out when a friend chops off their hair. Change is scary).

      And I second the short-hair fear. We’ve all had that crap drilled into our heads, right? That you have to have a certain kind of face to pull off any sort of short hair? No matter how many of my real-life friends I see with bad-ass pixies, I remain too chicken-shit to try it.  Sigh.

    3. Locks of Love! Someone could really use your hair, and you’ll make more, right? Also, I don’t remember which wise woman once said something like the best thing about long hair is the way it feels when you run your hands through it after it’s all been cut off, or something.

      Try it, you’re going to look fantastic!

      1. I admit, I’m not a fan of Locks of Love any longer. I donated my hair to them twice, and basically they have more hair than they know what to do with.

        I just got my hair cut for a donation to chin length, and the hair went to a cancer center at St. Jude’s that makes their own wigs. But yes, go for it!

        1. I didn’t know Locks of Love had too much hair, that’s just gross, but it’s good to know there are other organizations to give to. It’s such a happy thing, but I don’t have time to grow ten inches of hair and my hair is really thin and crappy so they’d probably just go “ew” and throw it out.

          ETA: Besides, it’s blue. :P

    4. Chop chop! Short hair for the win! (spoken as someone who had hair down to her waist about ten years ago and have cut it progressively shorter since…)

      (plus you can donate it and get that warm glow. Or keep it and make Victorian hair pictures. Maybe a little from Column A, a little from Column B…)

    5. DO IT!!!

      I was nervous before cutting my hair (it wasn’t as long as yours is, more like shoulder blade length), but it is soooo much better shorter. It’s lighter, it doesn’t weigh itself down so it actually has volume, and I get so many more compliments than I did with long hair! Granted I never wore it down when it was long (didn’t look very good, got in my way etc.), so people were really surprised to see it : P

      Love having short hair. It’s about chin length, which is a good look for me. Pixie cuts are so cute though! Wish I could rock one. I’d probably be mistaken for a boy though, due to my height and shoulders.

      tl;dr – DO IT.

      1. Y’all are the very best.

        I never wear mine down, either. It’s in a perpetual ponytail. I used to do a bun, but it’s too heavy, and ends up looking like some sort of bizarre growth. The bottom four inches or so look like shit, my cats play with it and I keep sitting on it and catching it on things, so it’s just a nest of split ends.

    6. If you’re really going to cut it for SURE go to a professional and take in some pictures of hairstyles that you’re interested in. It’s not the easiest thing to imagine your hair short after it being long for ages and be sure t look for hairstyles that include the same texture as your own (though you might not realize how curly your hair will become once all the WEIGHT is gone). It’s always nice to have a good idea to start with so you and the stylist are on the same page. Helps to prevent tears afterwards. Wine also helps.

      Right before chemo I cut my hair into the cutest pixie which I’d never done before – my friend styled it perfectly and I can’t wait for it to grow back. The maintenance from even my old shoulder-length mass of hair to a pixie was FABULOUS. The time I saved every day was phenomenal and my head felt so light. Now that I’m buzzing it my showers are like five minutes but I don’t think I’ll keep that look once it starts coming back in a few months – am TOTALLY going to rock my pixie again once it gets to that length.

      Be sure to share whatever you do! Best of luck! Don’t be scared – it’ll grow back. :)

    7. Do it! I cut mine off from waist length to just above my shoulders my senior year of college. I hadn’t cut it since 9th or 10th grade, so it was pretty terrifying, but I loved it. A few people didn’t recognize me at all, and a guy I had a crush on did the biggest double take I’ve ever seen and yelled, “Holy shit! You look much better!” the first time he saw me. I was dying laughing at the absurdity while simultaneously wanting to crawl under a chair and die.

    8. Do it do it do it do it do it…

      Really, I chopped off all of my hair twice in the last couple of years, both times into a pixie cut. I’m trying to grow it out at the moment (it’s at about shoulder length) from the last cut about a year ago, since I’m craving long, flowing hair. But I always revert to the pixie eventually because it is awesome. You can wash your hair in about thrity seconds, dry it under a minute, and style it in about one. Plus, you look all edgy and cute.

    9. I recently cut about two feet off, leaving just about two feet. Takes some getting used to, but you’ve done it so you know it’ll grow back and give you a new start with ends management. At that length, if you still want to go further, there’s still plenty to work with.

    1. It snowed here last night, too, even though it was in the high 40’s. Today feels like May outside. The Canada geese have already come back, and there are buds on all the trees, too. I even killed my first ant of the year. I DO NOT LIKE THIS, SAM I AM. I mean, I love warm weather, but this is just disturbing for February.

  8. So, these things I’ve been grading are tests for the Bioethics class I’m TAing for, and UGH.

    Part of the topic we talked about (and on the test) was abortion. And most of what they had to do was answer questions on the arguments they read. But there’s a small section where they give their own opinion…and I am really glad that, for that question, we only have to grade them based on whether or not they completed it.

    Because I want to thrash some of these people who are saying abortion is wrong.

        1. Whaaa? Ick. Just ick. Part of the reason I decided not to go into ethics, besides that the commute to that specific grad program would be hell, was that I feared it would raise my blood pressure and give me ulcers. Now I can just get angry with you instead!

        2. That s.o.b. is hereby invited to pay my son’s expenses, including day-care/baby-sitting so I can pretend to have a life again, and to sit up with the kid when he’s horribly sick, and interact with the doctor who is supposed to be a fucking medical professional keep asking complete with side-eye “oh so it’s just you? Are you sure you’re doing…ok?”, and they can fend off the teacher who insinuates that the kid has behavior problems due to being an only child, and… Clearly, I hate these douches. They never have the first damn clue what they’re spouting off about.

          Not doing your homework involves “excuses.” Not wanting to go through pregnancy/parenting involves incredibly valid and often very personal reasons.

          You are a very good, very diligent, TA  to even bother reading these. Kudos to you; you have definitely earned a delicious, top-shelf adult beverage of your choice.

          1. So very truth. How the fuck is having an abortion the wrong decision for someone who knows they’re too immature and/or not prepared to have a kid? Isn’t it SO MUCH WORSE if they have a kid before they’re ready for one?

            Heh, and thanks. I feel like I have to put up with it since it’s my job. And I hope I never have to teach a Bioethics class so I won’t have to tolerate this sort of nutjobbery.

                1. Which I can’t bring myself to do with my case-books. For one thing, they’re too expensive. For another, burning an actual book is… book-burning. And I just can’t.

                  Stuff that’s just been printed out? Yes! And why didn’t I think of this. Though I guess @silverwane can’t exactly burn her students’ papers. Hmm. Maybe a couple of pilfered blue-books to burn in effigy?

  9. Eeeee I am starting to buy garden supplies!

    By that, I mean I have the fencing to put up around my balcony (two-purpose: my dog would be able to fit through the balcony bars, so it needed something extra, and also I can have plants climb it) and a watering can.

    I am thinking tomatoes (in pots) and cucumbers (in a trough right next to the fence). Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated, as I have never done this and am pretty incapable of keeping indoor plants alive.

    1. Jealous!  I can’t wait to have a little garden.  I have a few herbs and such on my balcony, but that’s all until I get some sort of green space I can call my own.

      Just from helping with my parents garden (they started a few years ago) cucumbers go crazy, but I’m sure you already knew that.  :-p  Good luck.

      1. My parents also have a garden, and my mom has taken to making pickles every year, because that is her only option. (One year there was a cucumber blight of some kind, so the next year my dad planted 3x as many cucumbers as normal. This trend has continued, because pickles are delicious.)

        Also: Ooooh, I need to do herbs, too! I want to get the canvas over-the-door-herb-garden-that-is-actually-a-shoe-rack thing!

        1. In my experience with killing plants, rosemary is nearly indestructible. I have also not murdered Serrano peppers, and I actually had quite a bit of luck last year ignoring cherry tomatoes. I did really well with oregano a couple of years ago but then it all died for some reason. Luckily, I gave some to a friend who now gets to give some back to me. Have fun with your garden!

    1. Pizza!  But I’m biased.  I could probably eat pizza every day.

      Have you tried that no knead pizza crust?  It’s pretty yummy.   I usually throw whatever veggies I have in the frig at the time and bam! Dinner is ready.   Oh and you get two pizza crusts out of one batch so that’s even better.

    2. You have inspired me to look beyond my usual choices of peanut butter and honey sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, and poptarts.

      I think all of your options are good ones, so I can’t advise. But for me, I’m going to attempt chili sometime after pay day. I mean, you just throw a bunch of stuff together in a crockpot and stir every once in awhile, right? What could possibly go wrong?

            1. Turned me to West Wing or big shot poster? I’m quite surprised with numero two, being usually the girl that’s close to spamming to get in high ranks.

              I think I just feel/thought that West Wing is from before my time? Maybe it didn’t even air in the Netherlands?

        1. Don’t feel bad; I had to look up the next three ranks where I could end up, and they all resulted in an exasperated yell of “am I the only person here who doesn’t watch Dr. Who?!” Since I’m pretty certain I will never reach Zombie Vonnegut, I expect to be gifting tons of points here in another few thousand.

  10. Guys and ladies .. I just watched Howl’s Moving Castle for the first time (and loved it). And had a disturbing high school crush on Howl but was confusingly freaked out when I read he was voiced by Christian Bale (why do I notice his voice when he’s voicing a man-child?).

    1. I saw Howl’s Moving Castle when it came out in theaters. The very next day I saw one of the Christian Bale Batman movies (the first one?). Through the whole movie I kept imagining Batman saying, “What’s the point in living if I can’t be beautiful?”

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