This Open Thread is Broken Up

In the last 4 days, I have become a connoisseur of breakup songs. And right now I’m really into Aimee Mann and her ability to really articulate everything I feel about the demise of my relationship. There are almost too many options to choose from for the song that I will listen to on repeat while I plow through my entire supply of Kleenex and cake-flavored vodka. But I think for today’s saddest dance party open thread ever, I am going with two breakup songs that I’m listening to right now.

Enjoy yourself in the comments, friends! I’ll be joining you after I have finished dissecting the final hours of my relationship.

Published by

Luci Furious

There are no bad times, only good stories.

611 thoughts on “This Open Thread is Broken Up”

    1. Tip: Selena always increases the points on weekends, so wait to send out friend requests until they’re worth a lot more! Between that and a lively open thread, I earned a shitton of points last weekend. The only downside was that I only spent 3 or 4 days as CJ!

  1. Thank you to everyone who welcomed me on the other open thread! I love you all and accepted everyone’s friend request, even though I know you only love me for my sloths. It’s all right – I feel the same way about myself. :)

    And I don’t know what points are or why I have hearts in the box by my number of friends or ANYTHING, y’all.

    But what I DO know is that on Saturday I’M GOING TO THE ZOO TO SEE THE SLOTH! :D :D :D

    Also, y’all haven’t seen my sloth pictures! YAY! Except some of the Jezzies. But I’m sure you all want to see them again. :D

    1. I love all these sloth pictures. By the way, do you know about the Sloth song by Flanders and Swann? It goes:

      “A Bradypus, or Sloth, am I,
      I live a life of ease
      Contented not to do or die,
      But idle as I please
      I have three toes on either foot, Or half a doz. on both
      With leaves and fruits, and shoots to eat,
      How sweet to be a Sloth

      The world is such a cheerful place
      When viewed from upside-down;
      It makes a rise of every fall,
      A smile of every frown;
      I watch the fleeting flutter by
      Of butterfly or moth
      And think of all the things I’d try
      If I were not a Sloth.

      I could climb the very highest Himalayas,
      Be among the greatest ever tennis players,
      Win at chess or marry a Princess or
      Study hard and be an eminent professor.
      I could be a millionaire, play the clarinet,
      Travel everywhere,
      Learn to cook, catch a crook,
      Win a war then write a book about it.
      I could paint a Mona Lisa,
      I could be another Caesar.
      Compose an oratorio that was sublime.
      The door’s not shut on my genius but
      I just don’t have the time!

      For days and days among the trees
      I sleep and dream and doze
      Just gently swaying in the breeze
      Suspended by my toes
      While eager beavers overhead
      Rush through the undergrowth
      I watch the clouds beneath my feet;
      How sweet to be a Sloth.”

      (sing at a gentle, sloth-like pace)



    2. A friend of mine works in an office with sloths down in Suriname! (no really, they are actual sloths, not just people who are sloth-like. she works in conservation) Sometimes she’ll post pictures of sloths hanging out in the office sink, or of the random baby anteater who decided to interact with the sloth, or other amazing randomness. It is possibly the main reason that I now want to spend long periods of time in Suriname.

    1. Hahaha, I play the bagpipes too. I make sure to do maintenance stuff when I know Fiance is away for the weekend/evening/whatnot. But he never remembers that the mysterious plaid bottle at the back of the fridge is full of spices and fat and DO NOT OPEN IT FOR THE LOVE OF GLOB THE SMELL!

  2. I just wanted to repeat it again just in case anyone missed it earlier, this is DuckyBelkins from Jez, I accidentally messed up the name thingy on here (I was trying to get the same name that I had from Jez but now that I have Heather I’m like pfft whatever.

    Seriously this is the first time in my whole life that I could be “Heather”. Not Heather1, not ms_heather, not HeatherABC. It’s weird!

    Oh yeah and because of the age group I’m in, I’m not even the only Heather in school or any of the school events I’ve been in. Okay, rant over.

      1. It’s totally doable. Up at the top of the page, click My Account–> Profile–> Edit and it’ll take you right to it.

        I’ve been pretty lucky, there has been little Sara overlap in my life. Although we went on a weekend trip with another Sara(h) last summer and I made everyone call me Honey Badger so I would stop looking around whenever someone said her name.

  3. I feel like I would really like to be more active here than I was on Jezebel, where to be honest I felt kind of intimidated by a lot of the more prolific users and scared of getting crapped on for whatever reason.  This place seems really warm and welcoming though, so I’m hoping for the best.  Anyway, I don’t have anything really stimulating to add to the conversation; I was going to throw in a funny or cute gif (quite possibly of a cat nuzzling a baby) but nothing is uploading for me so I’m just going to sit here all *chinhands* at you folks.

      1. We do our best to see that people remain civil around here. You can argue ideas all day long, if you so desire, but personal attacks and name-calling will get you a warning and possibly a disemvoweling. In truth, though, we rarely have to remind people to be nice. We have the best commenters on the web.

    1. I totally understand the feeling of being intimidated by the commenting culture over there. I loved reading a lot of the comments, but sometimes some users could pile on a bit much. I guess sometimes I might’ve gotten aggressive or defensive on certain topics but I did feel that sometimes the groupmind was a little overwhelming.

  4. Hello all!

    I’m a Jez refugee. I’m using the same handle as I used on Jez to avoid confusion and because it’s awesome. I was going to post this in groupthink but I’m afraid now that I saw Morwynn get de-starred for mentioning Persephone. Could someone please explain how this site works, or link me to a page that will explain it for me? Does it consist of a bunch of writers and contributors like Jez, or can anyone post? I’m not going to lie, this format is really strange for me and will probably take me a while to get used to. Also, I don’t get all this friending stuff. Can we post gifs here?

    1. I’ll try to tackle your questions one by one!

      1. We have a team of writers and editors, but we accept submissions. We don’t pay, we’re 100% independent and at this point our ad revenues just cover our server costs.  You can use the contact form (under the about tab, in the header) to pitch the editorial team.

      2. This post (the link is also in the sidebar, for future reference) will explain the points, groups, friends, our commenting policy, our mission and the forums. When you make friends, you can get more points, but mostly it’s just a way to connect with other members on the site. The editors will all probably send you a friend request, cuz that’s how we roll.

      3. It works pretty much like other WordPress blogs, we just have an extra element plugged in that lets the users create groups and forums, make friends, earn points and send private messages. (WordPress out of the box won’t do that stuff.)  You can access almost all the bonus features through either the black buddy bar at the top of the screen or the tabs on the header.

      4. We love gifs! If you upload an image, it needs to be less than 1mb, or the uploader will have a moment.

      5. We’re sorry to hear of our friends getting banned and de-starred.

      1. Ooh ooh! I have a question about contributing!
        I feel like I want to contribute but I also feel like I’m not very good at writing,do you post all contributions or just the best of the best? Are you interested in episode recaps of shows that aren’t being currently recapped by the writers and editors?

        1. We’ve given LOTS of first time writers a shot, it’s one of our favorite things to do! Some of our best people had never written for a large audience before when they started.

          We’ll totally consider recaps, but I shy away from approving the reality stuff unless the recaps are really funny.  We usually focus on shows that have strong women characters. We do both current shows and past shows, we’re more picky about which former shows we cover.

          So go for it! Use the contact form under the about tab above and I’ll get you in touch with Meghan (@rubybruiseday) who serves as our New Writer Mentor. : )

          1. Ooh! Thank you!
            I’m really into serious reality tv (like Teen Mom) because I’m super into psychology and understanding people. I’m just fascinated by people in general. So my recaps probably wouldn’t be any good for this site :) But! I’m still interested in writing something some day.

    2. Gifs are welcomed! Especially if they have kittens, unicorns, or David Tennant.

      Here is PoM’s article that should answer most of your questions: link 


      There are regular writers and contributers, but they seem to encourage contributions from readers. You should ask one of the editors (they added a little [E] in front of their name so you know who they are).



      Edit: Clicked to late; everything Selena said.

  5. I should also mention I once dressed up as ‘Persephone’. It was a P themed “hop” (as we called parties at my hall of residence). I wore all black and a silver mask and proclaimed myself Queen of the Underworld and Hades’ Bride all night long.

    The moral of the story is 18 year olds doing mythology are pretentious fuckwits. But Persephone is badass.

  6. Holy damn, I leave to go to the gym and this place blows up! Woo, I am loving it so much. I am not far off my target now, help me get on the points board!

    My Dad just rang me and said “Thanks for the worms, and the hats and sunglasses. The worms look darling in their new hat and sunglasses”. Yes, I actually sent my father real life worms, I’m a vermicomposter and he wants to start out doing it. Hopefully they all survived the trip!

    1. That’s so weird because I was just thinking about SoA tonight, wondering when the new season starts. I haven’t watched any of season 4 and it’s been a while since I watched the first 3 seasons but if the spoiler function gets fixed, I will gladly engage in some SoA chat with you!

    2. Theoretically you could write SPOILER ALERT at the top, and then change the color of the rest of the comment’s text to match the background. Then whoever is reading your post has to highlight that chunk of text to get at it.

      When people do that, though, I kind of get the urge to slap them with a herring.

      My best guess is it’s fine for most people so long as there’s a warning at the beginning of the post. Disclaimer: I have no authority, and I’m a lamer who is disposed to reading whole plotlines before watching anything.

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