News Appetizers are Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

[E] Sally LawtonNews25 Comments

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It’s Friday, y’all! Time to pay attention to the world one last time before you go into the cave that is catching up on your DVR, watching Netflix, reading a book, and maybe, if you’re lucky enough to live someplace sunny, go outside and have some fun. Today’s news starts with a downer but ends with a song.

Today in horrible things, two are dead and seven wounded at a hospital shooting in Pittsburgh. The shooter was reported as dead. When will people stop being terrible?

If, like me, you worry yourself sick over economics that you only partically understand, you may be relieved to know that the Greek government has indicated that it has secured sufficient backing for a debt swap deal that will enable it to avoid defaulting on its debts. Remember kids: money is really just make-believe.

The new iPad lauched! Making everyone who just bought an iPad 2 very put out.

In news you probably can’t use, women have been shown to spot snakes faster before their periods. Yay?

That solar storm everyone was worried about didn’t cause as many problems as previously feared. In other news, the idea of the sun flaring up is terrifying if you aren’t Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

The GOP loves attaching riders to highway bills, such as the Keystone XL Pipeline proposal, which was narrowly defeated on Thursday. Highway bills: paving the way toward environmental destruction and other things that horrify people with sense.

Want to feel like you’ve just changed the world by posting a video on your twitter? Really? Okay! KONY 2012 is now trending on social media. Organized by Invisible Children, the video seeks to take down Joseph Kony, the head of the Lord’s Resistance Army that has terrorized northern Uganda. While the film’s intentions of making Kony famous for his bad reputation is applauded, many have criticized the campaign for downplaying governmnet abuses under Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni. What’s more, the organization’s spending and overhead have come under fire.

Want to have an entire generation of boys and girls unclear on how their bodies works? Utah is flirting with legislation that would ban public schools from teaching students about contraception, human sexuality and homosexuality – so no sex ed. At all. Not even abstinence-only education. The bill gives schools the choice to teach either abstinence before marriage or not to teach sex ed at all. If passed, it would be the most restrictive in the country.

Robert Sherman died at 86 this week. A songwriter for Disney, he is best known for Mary Poppins. Here’s hoping your weekend is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

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Avatar of [E] Sally Lawton

[E] Sally Lawton

My food groups are cheese, bacon, and hot tea. I like studying cities and playing with my cat, Buffy.
Avatar of [E] Sally Lawton

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[E] Sally LawtonNews Appetizers are Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

25 Comments on “News Appetizers are Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

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    1. Avatar of
      CorinaDee

      What.

      Who is this horrible person? I just spent the last few minutes watching clips of her and she’s awful! (Though, I have to say I’m tremendously impressed with the fellow who was trying to explain transgendered/transexual people to her. I think he handled himself rather well.)

      1. Avatar of Alex
        Alex

        Her name is Nikki Grahame, she was on Big Brother UK eons ago. I actually love “WHO IS SHE WHO IS SHE WHERE DID YOU FIND HER” just because it’s a magnificent display of rantery, but she’s a completely spoiled brat.

        Hilarious to watch though. Big Brother used to be pretty entertaining.

        1. Avatar of
          CorinaDee

          I’m a bit alarmed about how many videos there are of her in a bathtub, watching someone else shower. Is that a UK thing or just a weird reality television show thing?

          But the video was certainly hilarious. It’s why I clicked through to see the horrors beyond.

          1. Avatar of Alex
            Alex

            Er…weird reality show thing. Nikki was actually kind of endearing after a while. You never really got the impression that she meant to be horrible, she was just really immature. Patrick (I think), the guy who was talking to her about transsexuals, he was an older brother to her and stopped her being so much of a twat all the time. Plus, when Nikki got angry, her rants were just magnificent. “I’M SO COOOOOLD” was my favourite.

            1. Avatar of
              CorinaDee

              I was half joking about the bathroom sharing.

              I recently had my mind blown out of my skull when I found out that there are regions in the world where people don’t form queues. They just sort of… clump together. With that strange revelation under my belt, I figured I better ask about the bathing practices of the UK to be safe. You know, in case I visit Scotland again and end up having my showering sessions peeped in upon.

              Also, she howls like a Basset Hound. I approve.

              1. Avatar of Alex
                Alex

                You’ll be happy to know the ritual of the queue is powerfully and unquestioningly observed in the United Kingdom.

  1. Avatar of Leezaleigh
    Leezaleigh

    Are you flipping kidding UTAH!!!! No sex ed at all?????  I get that sex ed is something that is ideally taught at home, but that doesn’t mean that parents will actually teach it.

    Does this mean pubescent girls will think they are dying when they are in pain and start bleeding for no apparent reason because they won’t be taught wtf a period is?  Or could a kid get raped and not even know what happened/ that it’s wrong simply because they know nothing about they’re sex organs & what they should/ shouldn’t be used for?  Mind=Blown, and not in a good way…

    1. Avatar of Opifex
      Opifex

      “Nobody has a better record on supporting women’s issues than Rick Santorum,” Gidley added, “whether It was legislation to allow women to work from home or [hiring] women from the welfare rolls to work in his Senate office.”

      I’m sorry, your bullshit just made me throw up in my mouth a bit.

      But what the what? The solution to crime is to shame the fuck out of single moms? Hey, once we find this mystery dad, do we start making him pay child support? Or are kids out of wedlock solely the responsibility of their dirty slutty moms? EUUCH.

      1. Avatar of Susan
        Susan

        I was laughing out loud when I got to that part of the article that you quoted.  And then I read further and had to break everything in my office.

        And yes – shame.  That *is* the point – that maybe it’ll make them stop fucking so many people.  No economic benefit, no real reason.  He’s just afraid of people that have sex.

          1. Avatar of Susan
            Susan

            I seriously think that his inner monologue must be 100% sex, 100% of the time.  And really kinky stuff that he is horribly horribly ashamed of.  He is so preoccupied with controlling other people’s sex lives.  My guess is because he has to work SO HARD to control his own.

    2. Avatar of Leezaleigh
      Leezaleigh

      Santorum argued that his proposal could persuade single women to slow their sex lives, which, in turn, would lead to less out-of-wedlock parenting. “If Mom knows that she isn’t gonna receive welfare if she doesn’t tell us who Dad is, y’know maybe she’ll be a little more careful, maybe,” he said.

      Yes, because we all know that the women are planning on becoming prego just so they can get welfare.  So now maybe they’ll only casually have sex w/ 1 guy so she can for sure get the money$

      1. Avatar of Susan
        Susan

        Or maybe they’ll just get abortions so they don’t have to deal with this bullshit!  Oh wait, Santorum wants to make those illegal, too.

        1. Avatar of Leezaleigh
          Leezaleigh

          I just thought of a something: what if the woman in question was raped, and she didn’t report it (like most don’t) and then she didn’t get an abortion.  Would she be excluded from welfare? Would she only get welfare if she could prove/ had the guy arrested?  Santorum is such a master thinker, he’ll make a great president

  2. Avatar of [M] freckle
    [M] freckle

    A hospital shooting? Any shooting is horrible, but how can you even start to think about stepping into a hospital to do such thing? Dear timelords.

    1. Avatar of Susan
      Susan

      It was a psychiatric hospital.  Which doesn’t make it better, but…somehow it makes it make more sense to me.

  3. Avatar of Opifex
    Opifex

    In news you probably can’t use, women have been shown to spot snakes faster before their periods. Yay?

    And countdown to intelligent design nutters quoting Genesis 3:15 and saying “See! It’s all true!” in 3… 2… 1…

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