Well, hello, orgasming Persephoneers! You know, when it comes to sex, there often seems to be an elephant in the room. Unfortunately, sometimes I feel like I am the elephant. Thunder thighs, flabby belly, lumbering around the bed like a great pachyderm. I try for body positivity, but so often, especially when I’m naked, it’s just really, really hard.
I mean, sure I’m with a very supportive partner who obviously thinks I’m beautiful and sexy and wants to put it in me. And sure, I am a contemporary feminist who reads body-positive blogs and understands that a lot of the reasons I feel like shit about my perfectly average, perfectly functional, perfectly wonderful body is that I’ve absorbed negative messages from a poisonous, patriarchal culture.
I still feel fat when I’m naked and humping, though.
Not all the time. Just some of the time. But this kind of mind poison can really fuck up your sexytimes, you know? I have some of my own tricks for getting my head out of it (asking my partner for explicit compliments, cataloging to myself all the things I do like about my body, treating my body well by eating delicious food and taking hot baths and giving myself pedicures, wearing clothes that feel delicious and fit well, and so forth). But here’s what I want to know:
1: What makes you feel really sexy about your own body?
2: How do you get out of the negative self-hatred head-space once you’ve fallen into it?
3: When was the first time you realized you were really sexy?
4: How’s the orgasm challenge coming along?