This Weekend Open Thread is Marching in Like a Lion

Here we are at another Friday night open thread, I hope you’re all feeling chatty!

We’re not doing a super points party this weekend, because last weekend got weird. Two gentle reminders:

1. The points are supposed to be silly and fun. The number of points anyone has is no indication of how important or valuable they are; we’re all in this together. Everyone, from the copy editors who toil through the night to make sure we don’t make subject-verb agreement errors or use a hyphen (-) where we need an em-dash (–), to the lurker who’s never even made an account, to writer who only has one article under her or his belt, is a part of the Persephone machine we can’t do without. To encourage moar fun and less fight, I took down the points leaderboard, so now we’re all only competing with ourselves.

2. Having fun with the points is absolutely the point (heh), but don’t exploit the system. Folks caught gaming the points the first time will get a friendly warning by PM. Getting caught twice means removal from the points system and placed in the rank “We can’t have nice things” until such a time as the Evil Unicorn Overlord (me) decides it’s been long enough.

Please continue to have fun with the points, donate to each other for being awesome and keep up all the awesome community things you’ve been doing with these two tidbits in mind.


On to something completely different, and awesome.

A Persephehusband and his wife, @SaraB, are celebrating their 10-year anniversary this month. Mr. B (we know him as Teddy Bear Glittercannon) bought an ad that’s going to run in each of our open threads for a month.

Happy anniversary, you crazy kids.

Published by

[E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

359 thoughts on “This Weekend Open Thread is Marching in Like a Lion”

  1. I just noticed that all the episodes of Community are on Hulu right now (hint hint for those who haven’t watched) and my night just got incrementally better (which I did not know was even possible). To bed and a Community marathon – away!

    Best. Day. Ever. Thank you everyone!! <3

    ETA: Damn! It’s only on Hulu Plus… maybe it’s time for my free trial?

    1. Or you could always go to one of those sites that I totally don’t know about and download or stream them…

      And I am sooooo excited for next week! I am using Community quotes for my status updates here, on Facebook, and on Twitter in honor of its return!

      And, for the heck of it, one of my favorite scenes from this season:

      ETA: It wouldn’t embed for me, but the link works.

  2. I went to the local drag competition tonight, and I met the. most. attractive. man, ever. (It seems like the past few drag comps I’ve been to, the last act was some amazingly sexy person who had me all googly eyed.) He was wearing a shirt that read “Chubby Guys Cuddle Better”, and I almost died. (p.s. the shirt can be found at http://www.dpcted.com )

  3. I realized that my life is very weird. We’re still waiting on a letter from one department to say whether or not I’m in the MPA program, and I walked over to my advisor’s office today and was all, ‘oh, hello, let’s talk PhD next week?’ And he just nodded, as my major advisor is the one man I know who can say ‘groovy’ without any sign of emotion on his face.

    Then I spent tonight running between taxis, trying furiously to get a hold of PR people, and my lovely, in-recovery-from-mouth-surgery husband poured me a glass of water and listened to me whine before I was off to a restaurant opening. And my cheese from yesterday’s mini-shoot is locked in my roommate’s car, so we’re scared for Monday when he gets back.

    It’s all really awesome – except for my mourning over the loss of good cheese – but I feel so exhausted.

  4. Oh lawdy, I hurt everywhere.  I got home from work and did my official Day 20 burpees, which wasn’t too bad.  But then, I had a singles and doubles bowling tournament tonight, so after my 20 burpees, I bowled six games.  The first three were okay, but now I feel like noodle-arms and I think I may have done something not-so-great to my right quad muscle.  Ugh.  Back when I bowled in college, we’d start a tournament at 8 in the morning, bowl five games, eat some food, and then bowl five more games.  Then, the next day, we’d do it all over again.  But, now I am old, and can’t do that anymore.  And by old, I mean 24.  Crap.  Tomorrow’s burpees are going to suck.

  5. Thanks to everyone that wished me a happy birthday last weekend!

    I had a total BLAST. Dancing with friends at a retro party, went to a gay bar with my guy friends and ripped off my boyfriend’s shirt and made him dance on a stage, went back to his place and… wait for it… wet his bed!!

    This is only funny because he did the same thing to mine about 6 months ago.

    Not bad for 27.

    Also I have this righteous bruise which I have NO idea how I acquired.

    (I won’t put in in my comment ’cause it’s on my upper leg, so if you don’t want to see it…)

  6. This is so incredibly lovely. Huge congrats to SaraB and her glittery ursine love object.

    I had my first job interview in 2 years today for a foot-in-the-door job that I would REALLY like, but I don’t think I did too well. I was completely thrown by a question on a specific piece of mental health legislation that I’ve never ever read so rather than trying to fudge it, I just let the interviewers know that I hadn’t read it and spoke for a minute about client privacy in the hopes of getting partial points. The rest of the interview was similarly stumbly.

    I got home and immediately looked it up, did some reading and then mentioned that I’d followed up on my knowledge gap in my thank-you emails. Here’s hoping- this job would be huge for me!

  7. I had a counselling session earlier this week. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to share it but I think a lot of what I’m trying to do with this is to be candid and open and blah blah blah very unBritish stuff, so I guess I’m talking about it now (though wow, not to anyone I actually know in real life).

    It was really weird. I actually thought I’d cry but I spent most of the time talking slightly too loudly and quickly and huff-laughing unconvincingly. I kept rushing past everything significant I wanted to say. My counsellor is a very nice man with a lovely Edinburgh accent that made talking somehow a lot easier. Also, it’s probably my latent and hitherto unfound misogyny coming out but I didn’t realise until I started talking that I was really glad he was a man (so completely random, but it was a really strong feeling).

    I kept chewing mints? That was weird too. I got through like 20 gum-mints while I was there. I didn’t really say anything depthy or interesting but I think I covered all my bases. It was very weird. At one point I made this joke about how I could only talk about stuff if the other person “was at least getting paid for it”, and then I said “well I guess not paid enough” and then did a stupid huff laugh and promptly felt like a cooked turd.

    Ever since, my heart’s had this really bizarre feeling like I want to be back in there vomiting up pain. I got to the end and I’d finished this long list and actually said to him “My life sounds a lot more fucked up when it’s chronological” – seriously, I think that must happen to everyone. I also kept going, every five minutes, “I mean I know it’s not that bad, but -“. I am evidently not a good patient.

    It was weird. I’m aware this is weird too and random sharing but the sharing’s more important than the constructiveness thing so all ye of the uncandid need not express sympathy.

    As a final note I’d just like to thank @Silverwane for being awesome this week. She knows why but I think it’s worthy of public (if vague) approval.

      1. Yeah – it’s a mental health charity so they’re always really booked, but they phone you whenever they have a free appointment going so I should be able to get an appointment within the next couple of weeks. You do blocks of six that are guaranteed and then you can reapply to keep going if you feel you need more time.

    1. I don’t think it’s misogyny to enjoy the company of men or to feel more secure in confiding in them. Just like I don’t think it’s misandry to want a female doctor or therapist. It’s a personal thing and I trust that it isn’t a reflection on whether you think a woman could perform the job. Don’t beat yourself up about that kind of thing. We are all more comfortable with people who are like us.

      And congratulations on a step towards mental health and happiness! I don’t know the full details of your situation, but I’m glad you’ve been able to find help.

    2. I totally do the stupid laugh when I’m in therapy and make jokes to make my therapists laugh. My inner voice is telling me to stop being a freaking comedian and just be in therapy. Meanwhile I’m up on stage tap-dancing like Michigan J. Frog. For me, I think it’s deflection and a way to not have to feel so much. I’ve been in therapy forever and I still do it.

      1. God, exactly. I really couldn’t let go of how whiny I sounded. Every time I think about it I cringe at how entitled it all feels. I think I thought maybe if I joked it meant I was somehow aware of how ridiculous it was for me to be talking about this shit? I don’t even know.

    3. That’s exactly what counseling feels like for me, too, down to the male preference and I tend to pick apart cheap pashmina fringes as my nervous tic. On occasion, I make jokes to make mine laugh because everything seems less awkwardly painful that way (also, I feel like they hear so many sad stories sometimes that they deserve a giggle every so often, right?) Maybe we should knit instead and start a knitting-while-in-counseling circle.

      I don’t want to project, but I also often feel like I’m making a big deal about things when I don’t have any visible, “real” problems (I have a place to live, I’m fed, and my shitty relationships could be significantly worse), and I internalize like nobody’s buisness. But, if you do indeed feel this way and I’m not misinterpreting you or putting words in your mouth (on your fingers?) rational me says to us all that we’re only capable of taking so much onto ourselves before it starts jeopardizing our mental and, on a really bad day, physical well-being.

      I tend to be long-winded. On another note, now your brain has a lovely supportive support group to give it hugs and unicorn farts (they’re sparkly and therefore wonderful.). If you’re particularly well-behaved, perhaps a cookie is in order.

    4. I also kept going, every five minutes, “I mean I know it’s not that bad, but -”. I am evidently not a good patient.

      I may be repeating others here, but am uh, still half-asleep. That sounds pretty normal. And even now it’s something that I hear from Mr. Juniper. Give the counselling, and yourself, time.

    5. Aww, I’m glad to have helped, even if a little bit. :)

      I’m with @corinadee, it’s not necessarily misogyny to prefer opening up to a male therapist. I know I would have been highly uncomfortable having a male therapist…I think it was mostly because, I didn’t want to have to talk about my sexual assault with a man. But it’s possible you could have nonmisogynistic reasons for wanting a male therapist.

      But if it is latent misogyny, societal messages are a powerful thing. We’re probably all sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. in some manner or another (even if that means directing it at oneself). The challenge of feminism is to dredge up where the isms lie and tear them back down.

      I feel a lot of shame when it comes to the latent racism that built up in me…but that shame leads me to try to challenge it whenever I see it within myself. And I keep challenging, because I feel like it’s what I have to do. It’s my social responsibility, especially as a person with white privilege.

    1. Probably because you’re not used to seeing yourself with it. I feel that way when I wear lipstick, because I hardly ever wear it. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I’m like, “My lips don’t really look like that. LIES!” and then I feel weird and take it off. But really I only look weird to myself.

    2. If it’s bad weird and not “whoa I look different” weird, there’s also the possibility you haven’t found the right formula or shade match. Case: my experiment with cheap, peacock blue eyeshadow from the 80s.  I’m brown, meaning the translucent not-pigmented-in-a-good-way eyeshadow looked like a really artistic example of about-to-die-of-vomit green.

      If that’s not the case, maybe you’re just getting used to it still. Go to Sephora, if there’s one near you, and have parties on your own or with a stylist who can help ease you into it….it’s fun!

      1. I think it’s the texture I find weird. It doesn’t look like skin, it looks dry and odd. I think the shade is remarkably close for my try. I need to see it in daylight but that won’t happen until tomorrow morning. And what are these parties you speak of? I live in Fort Collins, CO, do we have parties here?!

        1. A makeup party! I don’t remember correctly, but I think some stores have mirrors with different lighting options so you can see what you look like when. I might also have dreamed and wishfully thought this.

          Are you using powder, cream, or liquid? Powder always makes me look flaky and odd, but liquid makes me look greasier faster so sometimes it’s a lesser-of-two-evils sort of thing. If you’re using powder, are you using a brush or a sponge? I find that with a brush it’s easier to make it settle on top of your skin rather than get caked on. If you’re putting on a lot to get better coverage, try using a concealer that does a lot with a little (I like MAC’s concealer, personally. I put some on a beauty mark once while not paying attention and it disappeared in a second!).

          If you’re worried about looking particularly dry, there’s always tinted moisturizer?

      1. This was only the second time she’s pooped in the house, in 9 months. The other time was when she had a bad reaction to some medication and got super-sick while I was at work. This time? As far as I can tell, she really had to go, was whining at the door, but we walked to her pee-spot, not her poop-spot (although she usually will poop in the poop-spot if she has to go potty). So then she pooped inside, and then had to hide the evidence.

      2. I had a poodle when I was younger, and when my sister got a kitten the dog got very upset about poop in the house and tried to teach the kitten that poop belongs outside by picking turds out of the litter box and carrying them to the door. Which I thought was hilarious and disgusting. We had to put the litter box in a room with a baby gate over the door, and it was months before the dog would let the poor kitten poop in peace.

    1. I think half of my life has been clipping poop off my cats bum, mopping up puddles of boogers (he’s a sneezer) and wiping up his eye gunk. But I love him anyway.

      Here he is wearing a tutu and fairy wings for your enjoyment.

      1. What a cutie!! That kind of maintenance makes me thankful that I have relatively short haired cats. Also, they shed like crazy, so I can only imagine the fur removal with a fluffy one like that.
        I wonder if the ginger cat would let me put a tutu on her….. Hmmmmm.

        1. Yeah. He sheds like mad, but honestly, I don’t mind so much most days. Sometimes though, if I go a few days without sweeping up, I can collect approximately another cat’s worth of hair! He is quite high maintenance for a cat. He demands fresh water every two hours, his eyes gunk up, he is all snotty all the time, there’s the brushing and now, I just have begun to brush his teeth after I had to have them cleaned (200$ was a nasty shock). Even with all his derpiness and hassle, I love him dearly.

          Also, I highly recommend Build-a-Bear outfits. They are pretty decently cat-sized.

      2. That is precious! I loooove his expression! My friend has a persian and she gives him a lion cut because of his… *ahem*… issues. Despite being longhair I am lucky that for the most part neither of mine get dingleberries.

        ….I shouldn’t have said that. I’ve totally jinxed myself.

        1. I like to call them Klingons.

          I’ve shaved Dudders a few times and I’ll probably get him done again in the spring (holy crap, it’s the spring already! When did that happen?). It’s pretty pricey though. The cheapest person I’ve gotten is at 35$ a cut which adds up quickly if your cat’s hair grows fast.

    2. Ah, the joys of dogs. My dog went through a phase where she would grab my brush and eat the hair, which would then get caught when she pooped and I’d have to get a paper towel and pull it out of her butt. Good times. Thankfully she’s stopped.

  8. I wanted to say that the ad is super sweet :-) Congrats on 10 years.

    I am also having some technical difficulties. I have been trying to donate points, but it always says “invalid recipient”. What should I be entering there/what could I be doing wrong? If you have any ideas or can point me towards a post about the points that would be great!

    1. You need to make sure you’re entering the username, not the display name. I’m a bad example for this, since mine are the same, but, for example, Selena’s display name is Selena MacIntosh, but her username is Selena, so to donate points to her, you’d have to enter Selena. You can find the username by hovering over someone’s display name. Most browsers will show the link to the username in the lower left corner.

  9. so – I had the most hectic week at work that I’ve had in over a year.  With meetings in multiple buildings, multiple times a day, 3 days in a row. Now my bday is tomorrow and I cannot even bring myself to care because I have nothing left to give but “BLAH”.

    I had no idea that making so many decisions could take so much out of me that I actually need to go to bed earlier.  I don’t think I’ve ever made my brain so tired.  I just want to “veg out. You know – lay like broccoli.”

  10. You guys!! I’m soooo goddamned stoked right now I can NOT even handle it! My CT scan came back almost entirely cancer-free and I am OVER. THE. MOON. My brain is just sort of in this fabulously numb singing phase right now (some of that might be the steroids from the chemo today but I’m going to ignore that and just imagine it’s the power of good fucking news). I still have to finish out my treatment (I typed threatment – can that be a new word?) but OH EM GEE YES. I need some kitten gifs or something cause damn. Today is the BEST. So much goodness.

    Thank you all for listening to me in the open threads and elsewhere since I joined last fall. It’s been so amazing to have a place where I can just drop in and feel at home. Persephone has been such a great comfort and sanctuary to me. YOU GUUUYS! <3

        1. It’s from Bear in the Big Blue House, a children’s television show that I watched long after I had left its intended age demographic (I have a heart-on for puppets). This particular song always makes me weirdly weepy though.

      1. Thank you so much! I’ve been a bit of a wreck the last couple days and I know my parents couldn’t sleep last night (thank you, Ambien!) so this is just huge. It was the first test of any kind since starting chemo at the beginning of November so I’ve spent four months in this loop of chemo/recovery without any clue that it was actually DOING anything so today was just… I really don’t know how to describe the level of relief and elation I am feeling right now! I keep getting teary and I’m all grinning like a loon.

        (GIFs I’ve figured out – just attach them like a .jpg and insert them into your comment – it’s links and videos *I* haven’t been able to figure out! I’m going to steal my own GIF I posted a minute ago and put it here cause it’s AMAZING AND IM IN LOVE WITH IT!)

        1. What makes me laugh is the way the cat is so relaxed and looks at the camera-holder, then the camera, then SPONTANEOUS THRILLER DANCE! Cats are weird sometimes often. I type this as I have Boy Kitty laying on my chest between me and the laptop. Oh, the love, but the shortness of breath…

      1. YES! It’s MARU! I love Maru more than any cat except my two delightful babies. A GIF of Maru shaking his crazy paws after his owner gave him a bath? Yes. Thank you.

        (I’m gonna be real honest here and say I totally own the Maru book, his face is my computer background at work on a 27″ monitor and I am an admin on his FB fan page. That’s how much I love Maru.)

              1. Well it’s not Maru’s official page but we were his first fan page. We’ve emailed Maru’s owner and said we’d take it down if he ever did his own official one but nothing yet. Here it is!

                https://www.facebook.com/maruthecat

                We try not to spam it too often so people don’t get annoyed with us. If you want nearly daily doses of Maru you’ll want to check out his owners blog. They post pictures with comments in Japanese AND English for optimal misinterpretation of awesomeness.

                http://sisinmaru.blog17.fc2.com/

                Viva Maru!

                1. Well, I just spent a lot of some time watching Maru videos. ;) I have now liked the Facebook page. I take my “likes” seriously; I don’t have many b/c I kind of hate Facebook. (It’s just a “thing” with me. My “friends” are only my real-life friends and family. I’m just weird.)

  11. I feel like a big downer here.

    I found out this evening that an old friend of mine killed himself last weekend. I hadn’t seen him in a few years, but this whole thing is so unbelievable. He was such a good person. And I just feel kind of… at a loss I suppose. Very heartbroken.

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