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News

News Appetizers Love Haiku



This week had much news
Man stripped for security
No dinosaurs, though.

Encomium for a Pop Culture Icon

Dick Clark died this week
He made rock and roll mainstream
Teenager for life.

You Gotta Fight, For Your Right, to Pollute

Fracking can pollute
Now toxins must be captured
The Right hates this plan.

Missile Tests Are a Giant Pissing Contest

Countries measure up
India test missile launch
Who has the biggest?

Nuns Are Radically Badass

Nuns are feminists
Vatican hates this pish posh
They’re launching a probe

Mutants!

Shrimp without eyes found
BP oil spill to blame, duh
We are all so screwed

One Day I’ll Wear a Unitard Through Security

Airport nude protest
TSA so not amused
No bombs with no clothes!

Cool Person Who Made Cool Music Died

Levon Helm, drummer
The Band, amazing music
Passed away Thursday.

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About the Author

Avatar of [E] Sally Lawton

[E] Sally LawtonI have an MA in political theory. By night I read and write about political theory or make attempts at the great American novel (or watch Doctor Who). By day, I hope for better things. I have my own blog, themostpretentiousblog.blogspot.com, which features me writing philosophical things.View all posts by [E] Sally Lawton →

  1. [E] Sally J. Freedman
    [E] Sally J. Freedman04-20-2012

    Yeah….the actual sisters (very few are really nuns- they are the cloistered ones) who are in education and healthcare see a world that the bishops have more than likely never seen. My take is that they more than likely just turn a blind eye to Church teachings that actually interfere with their work. Kind of like Jesus ignoring the Pharisees in His day.

    • Linotte Melodieuse
      Linotte Melodieuse04-21-2012

      Oh, I heard this on All Things Considered Today and it made me so angry.  The people in charge at the Vatican have no idea of what the priests and nuns who are good and who do try to follow Jesus’s teachings face and see on a daily basis.  The nuns are trying to do good and the Church is preventing them from doing so because of the archaic attitudes the institution still holds.

      Do not get me started.  Do not.  Because I will drop so many F-bombs it wouldn’t be pleasant.

  2. [E] Selena MacIntosh
    [E] Selena MacIntosh04-20-2012

    Let’s be friends always. This is the best news post ever.  (Not that I don’t love them all, but this is especially special.)

  3. [E] pileofmonkeys
    [E] pileofmonkeys04-20-2012

    OMG. News haiku! AMAZING. It fits my attention span perfectly.

    • Dormouse
      Dormouse04-20-2012

      Seriously! I think I would read more news if it initially came in this form! (This is probably why I get my news through twitter feeds.)

  4. Sara Habein
    Sara Habein04-20-2012

    *applauds*

    • [E]SaraB
      [E]SaraB04-20-2012

      Seriously, I’m slow clapping at my desk.

  5. Opifex
    Opifex04-20-2012

    So. Vatican. Lemme splain somethin to ya. Lotso Catholics are not so on board with you on this idea that gay folks and abortions are a bigger problem than poverty and poor healthcare. We also tend to be more respectful of nuns than of bishops. No one is more holy than the Mother Superior. Not even God. The bishops were not the ones in our schools with the rosaries and the death glares. You are gonna loose on this one. The world view is changing, you can change with it (and yes, yes you can, I’ve seen you do it), or you can loose the faithful to other churches. VATICAN II HAPPENED OK. You cannot go back and undo it, and what’s more you seem to be the only ones that want to. The rest of the world likes the changes it made.

    Also Jonathan Frid died. I am having a sad about that. He will always be the real Barnabas Collins.

  6. Mona Se Queda
    Mona Se Queda04-20-2012

    The links don’t work for me.  Is it just me?  I want to read about badass nuns.

    • jen*
      jen*04-20-2012

      it’s not just you.  but if the links are fixed, this will be my fave news mileu ever.

      EVER, I say.

  7. Mona Se Queda
    Mona Se Queda04-20-2012

    Oooo!!! I normally steer away from reading the news (I prefer the radio, or even TV), but you’ve made it fun!  No dinosaurs makes me sad though :(

  8. Tamalyn
    Tamalyn04-20-2012

    LOL. And now, your evening news from…

    Take your pick…

    Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, or… SALLY LAWTON.

    Love this.

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