SO MUCH HAPPENS THIS EPISODE. Seriously. This could have been at least two, if not three, different episodes. And it is so very very spoilery! Stuff is described that becomes super important. Or doesn’t. Or possibly could. Anyway, read on!
Previously, on Battlestar Galactica, Sharon has been sworn in as a member of the fleet, Tigh is a fan of suicide bombing when necessary, and, oh, Adama rescued everyone off of New Caprica, except Baltar, who went with the Cylons. Starbuck, in what wins for “least favorite subplot EVER” briefly was convinced that she was the mother of a toddler – she hung out with the kid for awhile – but upon returning to Galactica, Kacey-the-toddler’s mother reappeared. Ellen died for collaborating with the Cylons, and there is a question of Baltar’s value aboard the Cylon ship – he IS human, after all.
We open this episode with Head Six on a beach. She suggests that Baltar takes this time to understand the Cylons. She also explains how Cylons see the world through projections – they see what they wish to see. Baltar asks Head Six what she really is, and she replies that she’s an angel of god sent here to help him. Riiiiiiiight. Baltar, it seems was dreaming, and is having a bit of a freakout, set to piano music I think I’m supposed to be able to recognize, alternately curling up or lounging on a chaise, nearly inviting me to draw him like one of my French girls. D’Anna and Caprica Six show up, and ask Baltar about Earth and whether he knows how to find it. While he initially says no, Baltar then switches into bullshit mode, pointing out that he’s got a good idea of where Earth may be. The Cylons, it seem, are looking for Earth as well – it’s going to be their new home. So fuck, basically.
Back on Galactica, Lee and Kara are running training exercises, like old times! Since it’s just training, it’s kind of like outer space laser tag? Kara flies too close to someone else, and her Viper gets a little busted. Everyone who was on Galactica during the New Caprica times rags on her, and Lee grounds her.
In other “just like old times!” news, Tigh is drinking again, heavily. And hearing Ellen’s voice. (Not only was Ellen “killed for treason,” she was killed by Tigh, which I will maintain is effed up.) So Tigh’s hearing voices. Drunken Tigh wanders into the hallway, following the sound of the voice, and stumbles through corridors until he comes across a woman who looks like Ellen from the back, but clearly is not actually her. So that’s awkward.
Speaking of awkward, a freshly grounded Kara goes back to her bunk, where Kacey and her mother are waiting for her. Kacey wants attention, and Julia, Kacey’s mom, has apparently been trying to get Kara to pay them a visit. As this was not working, Julia brought Kacey to Kara. Kara’s not exactly in the mood, and tells Julia to not bring Kacey around again. Julia’s kind of bitchy about this? Did anyone explain to her – did Kara explain to anyone – what happened to her on New Caprica?
And now for a better scene. They’ve finally let Jamie Bamber take off the fat suit, so Lee is skinny again, and a few seconds of shirtless Lee is almost enough to make up for the unfortunate “fat Lee” subplot I’ve been studiously ignoring for the past several episodes. No more fatsuit Lee! No more bullshit “fat is lazy and bad and a manifestation of a weak mental state” stereotypes! Thank goodness Lee started jumping rope, as that’s all it takes to lose weight! I could go on and on, people, but that would become another post altogether. Anyway.
Gaeta has a meeting with Roslin and Adama, about Baltar’s research into Earth’s location. There’s a lot of possibly-made-up science talk, but long story short, we’re looking for a giant lion’s head constellation with a red and blue blinking eye, made by some pulsars.
With the Cylons, Baltar’s just told them pretty much the same thing, and the Cylons are going to go look at the pulsars as well. Caprica Six then explains more about projecting. Its described as like daydreaming, but real. Though they’re in a utilitarian corridor, Caprica Six sees them as being in a forest, so to her, they’re actually in a forest. In his own head, Baltar questions Head Six, and then asks if he’s a Cylon, as he seems to be able to project, which is freaking him out.
In the rec room, Racetrack calls Sharon “Boomer,” which, as Sharon points out, is incorrect because Boomer is someone else. So Helo asks the room for a call sign for Sharon. There’s lots of Cylon-related insults, but Hotdog suggests Athena. So say we all! I’ll be calling her Athena from here on out, as “Sharon” seems too interchangeable as any of the Threes. Tigh shows up, cuts himself into a card game, and Cat, per usual, is kind of a sarcastic twit. Starbuck and Tigh think the people who stayed on Galactica had it easy.
And now Baltar asks an important question! He’s on his own personal “Am I a Cylon” kick, but also he knows there are 12 Cylon models. He’s only ever seen seven. Where are the Final Five? Caprica Six says it’s complicated, they don’t ever talk about them. Before we can get further, some other Cylons show up and say that the base ship they sent to investigate the pulsars has gone missing and sent back a garbled distress call. The call is being analyzed by their hybrid. What’s a hybrid? Later. The baseship’s message is decoded. There’s a virus that is killing Cylons on board, if they’re resurrected with this virus, it could take down the entire resurrection ship. Baltar, as the only non-Cylon on board, is clearly the logical choice to go investigate, which Head Six explains to him, then taunts him with the “maybe you’re a Cylon” business again. Baltar then volunteers to the Cylons, following Head Six.
In the rec room, everyone’s drinking, and it tends to be a bad sign when Kara and Tigh are in agreement. They’re on the “trust no one” kick, and Kat would like them to be more grateful to the pilots that died rescuing them. At this point, let us remember, Kara’s grounded and Helo has Tigh’s job.
Helo’s briefing Adama, and it seems the old man has heard of Athena’s new name. Awesome. He also formally calls the rec room a rec room! Also awesome. Helo reports that Starbuck and Tigh are sowing division – if you weren’t on the ground in New Caprica, you’re not trustworthy, etc.
THE HYBRID! WE GET TO SEE THE HYBRID! HOW MANY NEW THINGS CAN BE INTRODUCED IN ONE EPISODE!? The Hybrid basically controls the baseship, and is part humanoid Cylon, part machine. She is constantly speaking, and whether her conscious mind has gone mad or every word she says is straight from God is up for debate. She does quote Shakespeare, though, for what it’s worth. And when she says jump, the ship jumps!
Baltar, in a fighter pilot suit, which is incongruous enough on its own, gets in a captured Raptor and goes to the infected base ship. There are dead and dying Cylons everywhere. And then there’s an odd, manmade bit of machinery, that looks for all the world like an outerspace buoy.
A dying brunette Six tells Baltar that they found the buoy floating at these coordinates, and when they brought it aboard and opened it, it infected all the Cylons. It’s ancient, probably made by the 13th tribe. She blames Baltar, saying he sent them to this place, and he must have known that they would find it and it would kill them. Baltar freaks out, starts telling her to shut up, and, um, chokes her to death?! As soon as she’s dead (and she’s good and dead, as there’s no resurrection ship) the voices of the Cylons who sent Baltar there come back on his headset, asking him what’s going on. He says there’s nothing there. The Cylons then debate what to do. Everyone seems, for a moment, to decide to blame Baltar. D’Anna says they have to leave the diseased baseship. The Hybrid freaks out, screams, but D’Anna orders her to jump and she does. D’Anna and Caprica Six continue to question Baltar as to what he found, and as he maintains that he found nothing, Caprica connects to the data stream, looks at the pictures he took, and zooms in on the beacon.
On Galactica, Adama shows up in the rec room, and kicks everyone except Tigh and Kara out. Adama asks for Kara’s sidearm, and then asks either of them to shoot him. They do not, so Adama continues to lecture. Kara refuses to apologize, so he knocks her off her chair, calls her “a malcontent and a cancer” and she can either GTFO or learn how to be an officer/human again. Adama is a great deal nicer to Tigh, offering him all the time he needs to recover, but also points out that he doesn’t need a “one-eyed drunk.” Either shoot Adama, or go back to your quarters and chill out til you’re back to normal. Tigh picks up the gun and gets up, disarms it, and tells Adama that he won’t be seeing him again – the man he used to know is gone.
Kara goes down to the bathrooms and pulls out a huge knife (is this the knife Leoben had in the creepy prison? Possibly.) Everyone takes a step back, but Kara merely cuts off a huge chunk of her hair, which had grown long on New Caprica. Back in uniform, she goes to visit Kacey. STARBUCK IS BACK, BITCHES. Tigh, meanwhile, is drinking heavily alone. Not for the first time, I wonder how strong the brown liquid is. Starbuck hugs Kacey and cries, and Tigh looks at a photo of Ellen and cries.
Meanwhile, Racetrack, fulfilling her role as “character who discovers everything yet has no character development” finds the road to earth – the Lion’s head nebula and the blinking eye. Oh, and the diseased baseship.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Thanks to monchichi for the screencaps, they are pure perfection as usual! (Seriously, I am slightly concerned she’s reading my mind at this point.)