News Appetizers: Mmm. Delicious!

Happy Easter Monday! That’s a thing, right? A day of crashing after all that chocolate on Sunday? The news is depressing to fit with the sugar-crashing. Thematic!

Ukrainian Easter Eggs (photo courtesy of NPR)

Ukrainian Pysanky and other incredibly beautiful Easter egg work are pictured here. My family is half-Ukrainian. Our Easter eggs look about half as good as those. Times .00000001. (NPR)

Two men, Jake England and Alvin Watts, have been arrested for shootings in Tulsa, where three people have been killed. England and Watts are white, all the victims are black. Post-racial America, ladies and gentlemen. (CNN)

A Northern Nigerian bomb on Easter Sunday killed 25 people. Fuckshitfuck. (CNN)

Afghanistan and America have reached a deal about night raids, which is important in and of itself, but more important symbolically. (NYTimes)

A military jet crashed into some apartment buildings in Virginia Beach and nobody died. Sucky about the crash, but pretty awesome about the lack of deaths. (CNN)

Syria is probably not going to stop massacring its citizens. (CNN)

The president of Mali has stepped down after a coup. The coup is being, in part, led by Tuareg soldiers who were followers of Muamfmar Gadafi and moved to Mali after his death. Amnesty International says this could be the start of a humanitarian crisis. (BBC)

A massive avalanche in Kashmir has trapped 135 people, mostly Pakistani soldiers. Rescuers are working frantically to find any survivors. (CNN)

A kidney for some Apple products. (Photo courtesy of NPR)

A different set of rescuers are trying to reach 9 miners in Peru that have been trapped in a mine. (CNN)

A teenager in China sold his kidney for an iPad and an iPhone. Do not tell my husband about this. (NPR)

Sometimes when people donate their livers for loved ones (or strangers), they die. It is really upsetting to read the story. (CNN)

Oh dear. There has been a fourth fatal shooting over the past five months in France, all with the same weapon. People are talking serial killer. (CNN)

Crappppppp. Height is a risk factor for ovarian cancer. I take back all that smugness about being able to reach the cabinet over the refrigerator. (BBC)

Here is an interesting story about how lie-detector tests are inaccurate, and why. It’s an interesting story, but really, I just needed to go on the record: if I am ever accused of a crime, and they ask me to take a polygraph, I will say no. Not because I did it! But because I am so anxious that when somebody accuses me of lying, or thinks I might be lying, I start to get sweaty and my heart beats faster and I feel like I actually lied. Even if I am telling the truth. I would fail it, and then have to go to jail forever for something I didn’t do. (NPR)

Some CEOs make a lot of money… like a million dollars a day. Read this article and feel really crappy about your salary, unless you are one of those CEOs, in which case, feel smug. (NYTimes)

“Unsolicited text messaging is a pervasive problem.” Text message spam. Boo. (NYTimes).

Madagascar ducklings
The world's most special ducklings (Photo courtesy of the BBC).

Record breaking snow in Anchorage! I wonder if, for an Alaskan, it’s no big deal. I mean, it’s Alaska. (CNN)

Elsewhere, record-breaking warmth feels nice and warm but is actually terrifying in the grand scheme of things. (NPR)

Madagascan pochards have hatched in a special breeding center in Madagascar. They are the world’s rarest duck, but becoming a little less so with this successful breeding. (BBC)

A nuclear plant in southern California has been shut down indefinitely, while they try to figure out what’s wrong with it. Ugh. Hopefully they figure this out; nuclear disaster is not something anybody wants. (CNN)

Seal and Heidi Klum filed for divorce. Sadness. (CNN)

Treatment-resistant malaria is spreading. Crap. (BBC)

That’s it for today. Good: ducklings, rich CEOs (if you’re the CEO), pretty Easter eggs. Bad: Basically, everything. I’m going to cling to that picture of ducklings to get me through the rest of the week.

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I am old and wise. Perhaps more old than wise, but once you're old, you don't give a shit about details anymore.

13 thoughts on “News Appetizers: Mmm. Delicious!”

  1. I learned how to do the Ukranian eggs from a gentleman who was super invested in spreading his culture. (He also taught us how to make perogies and travels like an hour and a half to an Orthodox church in Pittsburgh to help out when they have special events.) My desk drawer ended up smelling of egg shells for YEARS after those things ended up getting stored there.

    Lots of oh crap, a little hm, and some cute duckies.

  2. The lie-detector article is very timely for me, because I just discussed (two hours ago!) the P300 in my class with the whole brain fingerprinting idea. It was…frightening to me. I know that this is all “supposed” to help us only convict people who actually committed a crime, and it’s not like our current system is perfect about that shit anyway, but for some reason it scares me.

  3. resistance posted a few good [read: news-y and depressing] links over at Resist Racism

    the story about the woman running her car into a go-cart with kids in it makes my heart hurt.  There’s a pic of the boy on a stretcher, and a quote from the woman telling him that he “doesn’t belong in the neighborhood” in which he lives. humbug.

    Yay for the ducklings! They are all that is right with the world.

      1. I know it would be terrible from an animal treatment point of view and I would never actually do it… but when I watch it I just want to pick them up and rub them on my face. Just for a minute. It’s the fluff.

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