Happy Easter Monday! That’s a thing, right? A day of crashing after all that chocolate on Sunday? The news is depressing to fit with the sugar-crashing. Thematic!
Ukrainian Pysanky and other incredibly beautiful Easter egg work are pictured here. My family is half-Ukrainian. Our Easter eggs look about half as good as those. Times .00000001. (NPR)
Two men, Jake England and Alvin Watts, have been arrested for shootings in Tulsa, where three people have been killed. England and Watts are white, all the victims are black. Post-racial America, ladies and gentlemen. (CNN)
A Northern Nigerian bomb on Easter Sunday killed 25 people. Fuckshitfuck. (CNN)
Afghanistan and America have reached a deal about night raids, which is important in and of itself, but more important symbolically. (NYTimes)
A military jet crashed into some apartment buildings in Virginia Beach and nobody died. Sucky about the crash, but pretty awesome about the lack of deaths. (CNN)
Syria is probably not going to stop massacring its citizens. (CNN)
The president of Mali has stepped down after a coup. The coup is being, in part, led by Tuareg soldiers who were followers of Muamfmar Gadafi and moved to Mali after his death. Amnesty International says this could be the start of a humanitarian crisis. (BBC)
A massive avalanche in Kashmir has trapped 135 people, mostly Pakistani soldiers. Rescuers are working frantically to find any survivors. (CNN)
A different set of rescuers are trying to reach 9 miners in Peru that have been trapped in a mine. (CNN)
A teenager in China sold his kidney for an iPad and an iPhone. Do not tell my husband about this. (NPR)
Sometimes when people donate their livers for loved ones (or strangers), they die. It is really upsetting to read the story. (CNN)
Oh dear. There has been a fourth fatal shooting over the past five months in France, all with the same weapon. People are talking serial killer. (CNN)
Crappppppp. Height is a risk factor for ovarian cancer. I take back all that smugness about being able to reach the cabinet over the refrigerator. (BBC)
Here is an interesting story about how lie-detector tests are inaccurate, and why. It’s an interesting story, but really, I just needed to go on the record: if I am ever accused of a crime, and they ask me to take a polygraph, I will say no. Not because I did it! But because I am so anxious that when somebody accuses me of lying, or thinks I might be lying, I start to get sweaty and my heart beats faster and I feel like I actually lied. Even if I am telling the truth. I would fail it, and then have to go to jail forever for something I didn’t do. (NPR)
Some CEOs make a lot of money… like a million dollars a day. Read this article and feel really crappy about your salary, unless you are one of those CEOs, in which case, feel smug. (NYTimes)
“Unsolicited text messaging is a pervasive problem.” Text message spam. Boo. (NYTimes).
Record breaking snow in Anchorage! I wonder if, for an Alaskan, it’s no big deal. I mean, it’s Alaska. (CNN)
Elsewhere, record-breaking warmth feels nice and warm but is actually terrifying in the grand scheme of things. (NPR)
Madagascan pochards have hatched in a special breeding center in Madagascar. They are the world’s rarest duck, but becoming a little less so with this successful breeding. (BBC)
A nuclear plant in southern California has been shut down indefinitely, while they try to figure out what’s wrong with it. Ugh. Hopefully they figure this out; nuclear disaster is not something anybody wants. (CNN)
Seal and Heidi Klum filed for divorce. Sadness. (CNN)
Treatment-resistant malaria is spreading. Crap. (BBC)
That’s it for today. Good: ducklings, rich CEOs (if you’re the CEO), pretty Easter eggs. Bad: Basically, everything. I’m going to cling to that picture of ducklings to get me through the rest of the week.