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News Appetizers: Start Your Week Off Right

All the news that’s fit to be pissed about! Right here for your reading pleasure.

Tornado
This picture gives me a physical reaction. Check out the CNN gallery.

Another Monday, another story about tornadoes ripping through America. Five died in Oklahoma, but mostly there was a lot of destruction. I do not advocate chasing storms, but I do advocate looking at this gallery of storm pictures on CNN. It is breathtaking. (CNN)

Mitt Romney + NRA = Tru Luv 4Eva. (CNN)

Also, Romney hasn’t had time to file his tax return. IS IT APRIL 15 ALREADY?? (CNN)

Obama pays a smaller tax percentage than his secretary, who makes $95,000 a year. I am a really good secretary, and I would totally, totally hang out with the president et. al. for $95,000 a year. Even if I had to pay a high tax rate. Barack: call me. (CNN)

Republican women tell Mitt Romney how to get the woman vote. Not even joking, it’s, “Stop talking about things that matter to women, and shift focus onto the economy.” (NPR)

A guerrilla group in Peru has released 36 hostages, which seems like a pretty good way to start off the week. (CNN)

The U.N. is sending observers to Syria to help negotiate a cease-fire, which is also a pretty good way to start off the week. Can we make it through the news without hating the world? (CNN)

Useful and constructive talks in Iran about nuclear weapons. More good news. (CNN)

Five US Army staff and some Secret Service members were sent home for bad behavior, which allegedly involved prostitutes. My first thought: I bet they didn’t bother to check to see if the prostitutes were trafficked. My second thought: isn’t this how spies get information from the inner circle of the president? (BBC)

Oh crap. The Taliban is claiming credit for a series of coordinated attacks in Afghanistan. Crap crap crap. The government seems to be taking it in stride. (CNN)

But it’s hard to take it in stride when the Taliban raids a prison in Pakistan and 384 prisoners escape. (CNN)

Fuck. A 25-year-old Italian soccer player, Piermario Morosini, collapsed on the pitch and died, apparently of a heart attack. I don’t know why, but the “young healthy person dies mid-sport” stories always hit me hard. (CNN)

Hey, remember how exciting it was when Egypt’s government was overthrown? Wellllll, now they are banning people from running in the upcoming elections. So much for having faith in people. (BBC)

Dual-focus contacts
These contacts will turn you into a spy.

New dual-focus contacts and futuristic sun-glasses turn you into the kind of spy you always thought you would be. Seriously, technology is ridiculous. (BBC)

Yellowfin Tuna, especially in sushi, has been linked to a salmonella outbreak. But, um, there might be no way to tell if the tuna you have is from that lot. Yikes. (CNN)

Shift workers are risking their health by having screwed up sleep schedules. This time, the focus is on Type-2 Diabetes. (BBC)

George Zimmerman is “nervous” and “frustrated” that he’s being charged with second-degree murder. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU KILL SOMEBODY? YOU GET CHARGED WITH A CRIME SO THAT YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO PROVE YOURSELF. I can understand when people get frustrated at being wrongly convicted. But to be frustrated at being charged with a crime? After you killed somebody, even if you claim self-defense? You have got to be kidding me. (CNN)

Today, in things I would 100% not sign up for: a memorial cruise for the 100-year anniversary of the Titanic. Fate is being tempted so hard right now. (CNN)

Remember when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie said they wouldn’t get married until everybody could? And that seemed like it would never happen, and eventually they would succumb to peer pressure? WELL NOW THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED. And gay marriage isn’t legal everywhere, but we’re much closer than we have ever been, and I think I’m supposed to be mad that they didn’t wait until it was legal everywhere, but instead, my heart is warmed that the world has changed so much for the better in such a short time.

Hillary Clinton
Hillary. Partying in Colombia. CALLLLL MEEEEE.

It might be possible to tweak addicts’ memories (get it? TWEAK?) to help them recover. I saw that movie. It was really good, even if I think Jim Carrey is kind of a nitwit. (BBC).

Battery-powered electrodes implanted in somebody’s brain have been really incredibly successful in treating depression, and if this storydoesn’t make you tear up, you are a robot. (CNN).

Are your tear-ducts nice and warmed up? Because this story about a boy who lost his mother at age 5 and then found her again 25 years later using Google Maps is going to make you sob. (BBC)

ALL I WANT TO DO IS PARTY WITH HILLARY CLINTON. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK. (CNN)

That’s it for now, Persephoneers. Until next time, keep fighting the good fight.

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Susan

I am old and wise. Perhaps more old than wise, but once you're old, you don't give a shit about details anymore.

23 thoughts on “News Appetizers: Start Your Week Off Right”

  1. If it helps at all, Fabrice Muamba – the British footballer who collapsed at a match last month and had no independent heartbeat for more than an hour – left hospital this week, and he’s talking and mobile and all that good stuff. Not to minimise his ongoing recovery at all, of course, but it’s good to know the paramedical system worked for him.

  2. I sent the photos of ‘Hillz’ to my mom and sister this morning.  I love her more every day and I didn’t even think it possible.  Her biography was already awesome before the whole Secretary of State thing, but now, I’d love to read an updated memoir.

    1. During the Clinton administration, I was pretty naive and living in a very very very conservative area of the country.  All I ever heard about her were the: “she’s a bitch” comments, so unfortunately that was my impression of her.

      I love how my mind has changed over the last 10 years with regard to the lovely Mrs. Clinton.

      “I do not like that man.  I must get to know him better.” – Abraham Lincoln

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