My husband can be a bit of a pill about some things. And by pill, I mean words that are more fitting for after the jump, so here we go.
Yeah, sometimes he is a total shit. For example, for quite some time I noticed that when he sneezed and I said, “Bless you,” he wouldn’t respond. It didn’t really register with me at first, but then I started paying closer attention. I though that maybe he hadn’t heard me, so I would repeat myself. I would receive a grunt of recognition in response. One day, instead of saying, “Bless you,” I said, “Gesundheit;” he immediately said thanks. So I started saying that instead, and for awhile he would say thanks. Then he stopped responded to that, too, so I finally asked him what his deal was. He started in with the whole, “It’s a silly holdover from the bubonic plague,” and, “It’s a ridiculous antiquated custom” nonsense, and he questioned why I found it necessary to say anything at all when he expelled some spit and snot from his facial orifices. I calmly replied that it is, “Just common fucking courtesy, so just say thank you, damn it.” This went back and forth longer than such a ridiculous conversation should, and we came to an agreement. Responding when a person sneezes is a deeply ingrained habit in me, and in many of us, so stopping isn’t something I will probably do since honestly, I have bigger and more obnoxious habits I should work on breaking first. Instead, since he is being a bit of an ass about the whole thing, now when he sneezes, I say, “Fuck you.” It is hilarious.
I will be upstairs doing something, hear the echoing achoo, and call down, “Fuck you, honey,” to which he replies, “Thanks, babe.” Yes, we are strange, and should probably get some actual problems, but it is a compromise that works for us. I am no longer God blessing his little atheist heart, and he is acknowledging some deeply ingrained automatic sneeze response from me as I’d like. It’s a little trickier when we are in public or have small children around, but it’s manageable. It’s only a matter of time before I say it to a coworker when they sneeze, but whatever, it wouldn’t be the first time.
Isn’t that what everyone says relationships are all about? Compromise, meeting your partner’s needs or wants, being open to alternative suggestions? Sure, that advice is usually reserved for things that are, I don’t know, actually important, but the point still stands. Isn’t it easier to meet in the middle on the big stuff if you can figure out a fun and creative way to do it with such pressing concerns as sneezing etiquette? So fess up, folks – what are the weird little idiosyncrasies of your relationships? It doesn’t have to be with a partner; it could be a best friend, a sibling, or your parents? Is there something or a behavior that you cling to even though it is silly or irrational, and what was the compromise you came to?