Have you seen Duets? Talented musicians Kelly Clarkson and the lovely John Legend are held hostage by Robyn Thicke’s brohawk and a reanimated clone of Tennille (as in The Captain &.) A ragtag gang of amateur singers have also been abducted and are now forced to sing the cheesiest songs in the American songbook. It’s like Dancing with the Stars meets The New Main Street Singers meets Velveeta.
While I choked down the latest episode, I assembled this list of things I’d rather watch.
10. The Real Housewives of Lincoln, Nebraska.
9. The PedEgg Channelâ„¢.
8. Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Wars.
7. America’s Next Top Accountant.
6. A test pattern.
5. A sitcom about factory farming.
4. Anyone but Idris Elba, David Tennant, Nigella Lawson or Neil DeGrasse Tyson reading the phone book.
3. Top Chef McDonaldsâ„¢.
2. Charlie Sheen in David R. Kelly’s Chuck Fartz, Patent Attorney.
1. Kleaning the Kat BoKs with the Kardashians.