Where Have All the Cotton Panties Gone?

It’s a very serious question. I used to faithfully purchase these Gillian & O’Malley black cotton hipster panties from Target. I loved them. They didn’t ride up. They looked cute enough for date night, and they were breathable, awesome, amazing cotton. I owned at least two dozen pairs. But they’ve disappeared.

Made of cotton, but decidedly granny in style.

Well, they disappeared about two years ago, which is how long I’ve been searching for a cotton replacement. Gillian and O’Malley still makes underwear, but they’re not the hipsters and they’re certainly not cotton. Of course they have a little cotton strip, but it’s just not the same. And the other hipsters they make have too many seams and don’t fit like the old ones used to.

I’ve taken good care of my faithful cotton panties, but even washing on the gentle cycle and avoiding the dryer will not make them last forever, so it’s time to find some new cotton panties of a similar style.

And good lord. Where have all the cotton panties gone? It’s all microfiber this and nylon that. If I want cotton panties, I have to end up with granny panties. Or expensive (but deliciously soft) Hanro cotton hipsters (they cost $32 each). Now, I know Hanro is quality. I’ve dreamed of owning a Hanro cotton sleep shirt for years (seriously, their stuff has the best hand) but I am not going to spend $32 on panties.

So, panty makers, what’s with the lack of cotton? I like cotton. It breathes. It prevents yeast infections. It feels nice against my skin. I hate this microfiber and nylon nonsense. Give me back my cotton panties.

Or else I might be forced to purchase overpriced Swiss underwear.

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[E] Sally Lawton

My food groups are cheese, bacon, and hot tea. I like studying cities and playing with my cat, Buffy.

25 thoughts on “Where Have All the Cotton Panties Gone?”

  1. I like H&M’s hipsters, which are 95% cotton. I also have a bunch of VS hipsters I got as a gift and they’re 95% cotton too. Once in a while they ride up and they have like an inch and a half of lace, which isn’t really practical for everyday wear, heh.

  2. I’ve been buying the Gillian & O’Malley undies for about a year, because they make me feel fancy, but my Target doesn’t have much variety. So I went to the normal panty section, and bought a pack of hipsters and a pack of boyshorts, both from Fruit of the Loom. They’re cotton, but they don’t fit as well.

  3. Wait.  WAIT.  I am confused about “hipster panties.”  I googled and looked at pictures, and I have a couple of pairs of these “hipster panties.”  They all RIDE UP LIKE A SKI LIFT.  Are there different ways these “hipster panties” are cut in the butt area?  Do I just own terrible pairs?  Or is it my super wide hips/large-and-awkwardly-shaped-ass?

    But yes yes yes yes yes to cotton.  I see value in other fabrics if I KNOW sexy times are happening soon, but otherwise…cotton.  Cotton forever.

  4. I didn’t see it in the comments but I wear American Eagle underwear, they have a huge selection of different styles most of which I have one or two pairs, they’re reasonably priced and have adorable patterns (if you like that kind of thing, which I do, it makes me feel smug to know I have polka dot undies under everything)

  5. I know not everyone loves Victoria’s Secret, and they’re somewhat limited in sizes, but I got a coupon for the free “hipster panty” recently (well, several months ago, because I’ve purchased more since this time) and I really like a couple of their cuts, which surprised me because I used to not care for the fit of their cotton underwear. I feel like they used to come up too high in the rear and also stretch out very quickly, but now I think they’re using different elastic and a different weave of cotton, plus different cuts.

    I like a couple of different styles, one with ruching up the butt crack, which I feel like keeps them in place but my friends find weird, and one that’s more normal but usually has bows in front. Usually they’re like 5/$25 at the “PINK” table. But of course it will depend on your butt shape and coverage preferences if you like them.

  6. I seriously recommend either Hanes or Jockey. I hate searching the Wall of Confusion for the size/style I want, and it made me a little sad to officially give up on sexier brands, but it was worth it to have cotton underwear that covers everything I want covered and looks cute.

  7. I was just thinking the same thing about 30 seconds ago as I dug through my panty drawer. I am running out of cotton panties. I did find some recently that were $15 each but again, I’m not going to pay that much. Target is failing us.

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