It’s a very serious question. I used to faithfully purchase these Gillian & O’Malley black cotton hipster panties from Target. I loved them. They didn’t ride up. They looked cute enough for date night, and they were breathable, awesome, amazing cotton. I owned at least two dozen pairs. But they’ve disappeared.
Well, they disappeared about two years ago, which is how long I’ve been searching for a cotton replacement. Gillian and O’Malley still makes underwear, but they’re not the hipsters and they’re certainly not cotton. Of course they have a little cotton strip, but it’s just not the same. And the other hipsters they make have too many seams and don’t fit like the old ones used to.
I’ve taken good care of my faithful cotton panties, but even washing on the gentle cycle and avoiding the dryer will not make them last forever, so it’s time to find some new cotton panties of a similar style.
And good lord. Where have all the cotton panties gone? It’s all microfiber this and nylon that. If I want cotton panties, I have to end up with granny panties. Or expensive (but deliciously soft) Hanro cotton hipsters (they cost $32 each). Now, I know Hanro is quality. I’ve dreamed of owning a Hanro cotton sleep shirt for years (seriously, their stuff has the best hand) but I am not going to spend $32 on panties.
So, panty makers, what’s with the lack of cotton? I like cotton. It breathes. It prevents yeast infections. It feels nice against my skin. I hate this microfiber and nylon nonsense. Give me back my cotton panties.
Or else I might be forced to purchase overpriced Swiss underwear.