Normally, I wouldn't link you to Fox News. I have standards.
This gem of a piece is worth a click for the shits and giggles, however, because it is internet GOLD. Go forth and read it, then come write us your best comeback in the comments. The OP does not have comments enabled, so show off your ladywordsmithing badassery for us, where it will be appreciated. I'll make some egg nog and Bill O'Reilly gingerbread men.