Or, as we say in Indiana, hot cooter.
After everyone was safe last week, the designers come back ready to fight for the final three spots. ANH, wearing I don’t even know what, meets them on the runway to tell the designers that 1. somebody is definitely going home, 2. everybody’s going to Paris, and C. they’re going to tour the House of Valentino, which, as I understand it, only has a handful of things in common with the houses in Game of Thrones. Too bad, because I think Valentino could use more dragons. YMMV. Johanna mentors them while they’re there, and they get to spend a ridiculous amount of money (3000 Euros, roughly $4000 US) on fabric from Jansens and Jansens. The title of this recap comes from Joshua, who was very excited to be going to Paris.
After the tour, a trip to a café, and fabric shopping, the designers are back in New York. Much like last week, they’re too exhausted (and now jet lagged) to snark on each other’s work. Well, that’s not entirely true, they do throw some shade on Joshua’s print, which is in fact pretty bold, and not unlike the oilcloth table cloth we had when I was a kid. While low-drama episodes are a lot of fun for me to watch, they are a bit trickier to write about. So enough chit chat, let’s look at the clothes.
Anthony Ryan’s black column dress was a lot more interesting up close than it is in this photo. Couture? I don’t know. His moddle looks great, and the judges really like it. Anthony Ryan is (once again) the winner.
Emilio chose a fabric which looks like brocade, but is in fact feather-light. His dress is not only dramatic, rich and perfectly made, it has motherfucking sleeves. I am unabashedly pro-sleeve. The color makes me feel things in my ladyplaces, and I plan on wearing something exactly like this when I’m finally crowned Queen of the Universe. Emilio was safe, and IMHO, he should have been the winner.
Uli’s dress is not her finest work, but it still has all the hallmarks of an Uli gown. The lining does her look no favors, but the alternative would be to send her moddle down the runway with her bits showing. Uli was in the bottom two.
Joshua takes a giant risk with his fabric choice, and then pairs it with black lace. I don’t know how I feel about lace. It was huge in my formative years, and I wore many a fancy dress made of lace in my teenage years, but it doesn’t feel modern to me at all. If anyone could make me like lace again, it would be Joshua, but he didn’t do it with this dress.
Joshua was also in the bottom two. The judges, including guest judge Cynthia Rowley, can’t decide who to send home, so they give Uli and Joshua an additional challenge. They’re tasked with deconstructing the dresses they made to make an entirely new look. Joshua turns his gown into an adorable knee length dress which brings the boldness of his print under control. Uli makes a halter dress out of the lining, and pairs it with a lace shrug. Both looks are pretty great, and the judges are still pretty stumped. Finally, they take a vote, and our friend Joshua is sent home. I’d like to add that he was a great sport about it, just like he’s been for the entire run of the show. Joshua, I misjudged you during your season, and I hope you have a long, fruitful and covered-in-floral career.
The finale is this Thursday, where we’ll see the designers create micro-collections for what I think might be a fashion week. See you right here next Monday to hash it all out.