Stop “saving” your favorite clothes. Don’t put off the fun of wearing clothes you really love. Wear those clothes on ordinary days and let it make you feel great all day.
Accentuate the positive. Even if you’re new to the body acceptance game, there’s probably some part of you that you like. Maybe it’s your eyes, or your hands or your cleavage. Accentuate that part of you with makeup, clothing, jewelry or shimmery body lotion, etc. and see how it affects your day!
Make time for self care. Self care is really anything that makes you feel really good — massages, walks in the park, even reading a book with your feet up all count. Schedule that time and commit 100% to it. When you take time to do things for yourself, you feel cared for and loved, and that vibe is very attractive!
Let go of assumptions. What do you assume about your attractiveness? Do you think you “can’t wear” certain things? Do you assume that certain people, based on their looks or background, won’t be interested in you? Get clear on your assumptions and practice operating without them.
Get clear on your desires. What is it that you really want? And not what you should want — what you really, really want? Having clarity about what you want allows you to attract more of it into your life, and allows you to know it when you see it!
Make friends with your reflection. Every time (and I mean EVERY Time) you catch your reflection in the mirror or a window or whatever, affirm to yourself — “I am beautiful.” Say it aloud or in your head. You can mix it up with “I am sexy/gorgeous/fabulous” etc. If you keep this practice going, not only will you believe it, but you’ll exude it.
Know your flirtation style. Flirting doesn’t have to be about batted eyelashes unless you want it to. Flirting using your sense of humor, your great listening skills, body language, or even feigning disinterest can all work if you like to work them. There’s no one right way to flirt, only your way (or ways)!
Get in touch with your sense of abundance. When you connect with abundance, you know there is plenty — plenty of time to meet the “one” (or “ones”), plenty of “fish in the sea,” plenty of beauty for you and everyone else to embody. There is no rush. There is no struggle. And that languid acceptance of abundance is *very* attractive.
First dates are not interviews! (It took me a while to learn this one.) They’re opportunities to see if you like the other person’s vibe, to see if you could have fun with that person. When you’re connected to your sense of fun and joy, you’ll wind up knowing/feeling more about your date than his/her resume. And that openness is way sexy.
Want support with dating, relationships, and amping up your attractiveness? Then check out The Body Positive Dating Master Class, featuring speakers like Hanne Blank, Virgie Tovar, and more!
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.