The first time was while I was cleaning my bedroom. I discovered a lost pile of laundry in the closet that one of my cats had turned into the mystical land of Craptopia. It was an epic pile of turds, but it gave me an idea for my newest imaginary T-shirt:
My next moment was yesterday evening, when we discovered that things can get swept under the stove. My son couldn’t close the drawer, so he pulled it out and found ten years’ worth of junk under there, including two cookie sheets and a 9″x13″ cake pan I haven’t seen in about five years. I vented my horror on the pans with some steel wool. They could now be used to slay Medusa, should she appear in our kitchen.
There was also a large serving spoon and a bread knife.
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My former roommate, affectionately(?) known as Bitchface, used to leave dirty underwear (sometimes with skid marks) on the bathroom floor. She also attracted roaches to her room and mice all over the place.
So I guess the grossest thing I’ve ever found in an apartment was actually a person.
I am in the process of venting my wrath on the entire house. I promised my son a sleep over for his birthday and his friends have pristine houses. Mine is not fit for outsider eyes, and not even for my own eyes.
The lowest blow to the pride of my smug inner domestic goddess, a persona with grandiose illusions considering the state of my kitchen, a type of Victorian “lean-to,” was the time I discovered slugs had invaded the cutlery drawer. Truly I thought my life had gone to pot.
I’ll have what abbott is having
I see what you did there. ^
The stuff at the bottom of the fruit and vegetable crisper is always pretty nasty.
Yes, yes it is.
Yes! I once left a bag of spinach in mine and then forgot about it. I swear it liquified…
That bottom picture looks amazingly similar to what we discovered when we bought a new stove a few years back. The only thing worse was the side of the cabinet next to the stove. Just ew ew ewwww
I had a feeling I wasn’t the only one. I don’t know anyone who wakes up saying “It’s cleaning under the stove day today!”
A combination of mouse poop and fiberglass in my bed. Found after I had slept in it two nights in a row. I became terrified of hantavirus.
Fiberglass scares the poop out of me. Perhaps that’s what happened to the mouse.
One of our cats will pee on dirty laundry if he can get to it. I find it infuriating, but the husband always takes it as a sign of protest for a litter box in need of attention, so I guess good comes out of it? Still gross. :P
We found a ton of mold in a closet once. In our old apartment, there was poor insulation/ventilation, so condensation would form on the inside walls. Our spare room was used for storage, particularly the closet, so it was the perfect place for mold to grow. That was an appalling discovery, but thank God for bleach! It came right off, and it never came back while we were there.
I’ll bet that cat also pees on towels and/or bathmats left on the bathroom floor. That’s my favorite cat quirk (not really).
So far, he hasn’t done that, which is surprising, but I suppose there will be a first time one of these days. :P