Oh, poodles and kittens — welcome back, you wacky bastard kids. Here we are, reconvening for another roundabout recap of all the news that proves that recreational drinking has been created to dull the pain.  Other well-meaning and potentially not-so-healthy coping methods are also condoned in this neck of the woods.  So sit back, relax, and let’s break into this week’s news, shall we?

Egyptian activists released a video recorded during the mass sexual assault of a woman last week in Cairo’s Tahrir Square as a way to urge volunteers to join their campaign against attacks during demonstrations. Filmmakers Aida Elkashef and Salam Yousry showed footage of a crowd of men swarming around a woman being assaulted just out of view. The purpose of the film is explain the work of Op Anti-SH, one of two new initiatives to combat the sexual harassment and rape of female protesters. (NY Times)

Alaska’s claim to race fame, the Iditarod, has been delayed due to record setting high temperatures. (NY Times)

House lawmakers unveiled their first bipartisan bill this year that specifically targets gun violence. The bills aim to make firearms trafficking a federal crime and would impose up to 20 years in jail for “straw purchasers,” or those who buy guns for people prohibited from buying them on their own. (Huffington Post)

The standoff between law enforcement and an Alabama man named Jimmy Lee Dykes, has ended. Dykes hijacked a schoolbus in late January, killing the bus driver and kidnapping a five-year-old boy. He held the boy in his bunker for seven days. The standoff ended with the suspect dead and the five-year-old safely rescued.(ABC News, Huffington Post)

Michael Isikoff has obtained a “white paper” from the Department of Justice, stating that it contains ”the Obama administration’s legal rationale for the targeted killing of U.S. citizens suspected of terrorism abroad. Administration officials have previously defended such killings as lawful in public.” (NBC News, Mother Jones)

Scared? Frightened? Horrified? We feel your pain and we are right there under the covers with you. But remember y’all, even when the shit looks dark and the dark looks like shit, there is hope in… well… it’s there somewhere. Seriously. Don’t give up, poodles, just make room for us underneath that blankie.