Bless my heart, kittens, you are back. Was last week that good? Did you forget about what the news deal usually is about? Or are you just gluttons for punishment? Dirty, dirty, kittens!You probably just forgot how things roll in these parts. While I find it almost a mistake that you have wandered back in for the masochism of the mid-week news, I am overjoyed that you brave the ether with me, as we ever so gently face palm our way into the absurd. Like moths to a flame, we seek out the punishment that comes with the awareness of what takes place in our modern world. So let’s put on our happy faces and hold on for dear life.

Police officials in Moscow on Tuesday detained a dancer at the Bolshoi Ballet and two suspected accomplices in connection with an acid attack in January on the company’s artistic director, Sergei Filin, a crime that gripped Moscow and left one one of Russia’s most revered institutions in turmoil. Sources say that Pavel Dmitrichenko hired two men to accost Mr. Filin outside his apartment building late on Jan. 17 and throw acid in his face. (NY Times)

The Senate Intelligence Committee voted 12 to 3 to confirm John O. Brennan as director of the Central Intelligence Agency on Tuesday. (NY Times)

Hugo Chávez, who led a leftist revolution and served as Venezuela’s president for nearly 14 years, died Tuesday afternoon at 58 years old. (Huffington Post)

A baby girl who was born with HIV has been cured after very early treatment with standard drug therapy, US researchers have said, in a potentially groundbreaking case that could help eradicate HIV infection in its youngest victims. (Al Jazeera)

Thousands have fled their homes in Congo’s restive east because of renewed fighting between the DR Congo army and the APCLS. (Al Jazeera)

Lick my boots, minions! Kiss my toes, the toes of the daily news. The news has soiled your pretty minds and you like it, you dirty beasts! Wait, what? This isn’t the dungeon? I’m at my writing gig? Oh…well, either way, kittens, you have voluntarily subjected yourself to a torture most people pay for. Kudos.

Until next time.