Catholics around the world look to Rome for Pope and change. (*snort* ~ed.) NYTimes
Truth is often stranger than fiction: “Officer is Found Guilty in Cannibal Case.” NYTimes
Stuff is going down in Detroit: First, the city is appealing the decision to assign an emergency manager. Because a half-hour meeting is clearly enough time to prove what decades of mismanagement couldn’t. Then, our dearly departed Kwame got what’s been coming to him. Yay for justice! The Detroit Free Press
In an ever-increasing effort to remain relevant post-election, Paul Ryan has unveiled a budget plan that makes Democrats stabby. BBC
Public enemy number 1? Cyber attacks. NPR
Judge enters a not guilty plea for the Aurora shooter. There are complex legal reasons for this, so don’t get all upset about it. Slate
Well, this will give you a rage stroke: the defense lawers in the Steubenville case are arguing that the victim didn’t actually say, “No.” Of course, the victim was nearly unconscious. Hairs. Let’s split them, shall we? Salon
I hate to leave you with that last story in your head, because I nearly screamed with rage when I read it. So here’s a picture of my cat. She’s very soothing.