The pizzeria was tiny and stuffed with people. We managed to grab the last free table, one with six chairs. It’s just the two of us. Several people passed by, looked at us and carried on, until I asked a pair to come join us. Why are so many people hesitant to join a public table?
I’m not location-dropping for a reason: I’ve discovered this happening worldwide. First I thought it was a Dutch thing since they’re always ready to intercept a stranger possibly asking something from them. But I didn’t notice table-sharing it in The States, Germany or Lisbon either (now I’m location-dropping and I’m sorry). I have seen awesome huge reading tables that are half empty. Or if they are filled, there is an empty chair between every group because . Why is this?
Join me! If you won’t touch my booze and sweets. (Photo mine)
It’s not like I’ve always been s sharing person. There was a time when I would throw my bag on the one chair and my coat on the other, just to prevent strangers coming into my personal table space. Strangers passing by would be stared down or aggressively ignored so they’d know better than to ask if they could sit next to me. I don’t know if I had a legitimate fear of interacting with other people (why would you if you don’t want to?) or if I was just acting like the queen of my acquired castle.
These days, I single them out, the overly large tables. Even when I have a magazine or book with me, I like the feeling of “my” table being enriched by others. If they dare.
The girls in the pizza place who eventually shared our table were American exchange students from Oregon and Connecticut, by the way. We talked for about an hour, wished each other a pleasant night when we left and managed to enjoy our amazing pizzas.
Would you rather walk into the next café for a free seat or are you a-okay with sharing a table with a stranger?
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Inspired
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Smart
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Tickled
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Hungry
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Empathetic
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Smash!
I think that, in addition to depending on the type of location (wait staff vs. no wait staff), it has a lot to do with congestion, both in general and in the specific restaurant/cafe.
I’m living in NYC now, and I share tables with strangers all the time – we don’t interact much past asking the other if the seat is free, so it’s not a hardship. It’s just that a lot of people go places alone, and most restaurants and cafes are set up with a minimum of 2 seats to a table.
Only once have I been denied a table-share, and it was really shocking – it was a fast food place in Time’s Square, no tables free, and one girl was taking up a six-seat table, and when I asked if someone was sitting there (in the other five chairs), her answer was “um, me?” This is Not Cool.
What a brat. I hope she choked on a fry.
It depends on the environment. If I were in a coffee shop, bookstore, the library, a small bistro/cafe-like restaurant, or even a fast (or fastish) food place, I’m usually fine with someone sharing the table. Even a stranger, so long as they’re not creepy. I just feel kind of like a jerk if I’m at the last table, or the last decently-sized table, and that leaves someone without a place to sit. And, well, it’s not like we’re promising to be best friends or even stay through the duration of the other person’s meal. The exception, of course, is if I’m working on something and need the background noise (thus, not in my apartment) but can’t handle someone wanting to engage in conversation; then I’ll pick the smallest possible table and take it over. Or, if I’m at one of the local university’s libraries, I’ll see about finding a “group” study room that’s close enough to the busy areas but still quiet. (The new library has rooms with at least two glass walls, and it’s neat.)
However, if I’m at a restaurant with waitstaff (i.e., you sit down, you order, they bring you food), I’d rather sit by myself or with whoever I came with. No additional people.
Hmm, how is no waitstaff/waitstaff different? Maybe because that means the place is a bit fancier? Or because you will have to think for the other people to decide what they want to eat? :p
Honestly, I think the difference is coming and going as one needs (like in a coffeehouse) and knowing that the next “stage” depends on waitstaff (i.e., waiting for the meal itself, waiting for dessert, waiting for the check). Maybe it’s different outside of the US (or the south), but I’ve noticed that waitstaff tend to assume that anyone sitting together is *sitting together*, like they want to spend the entire meal together (and, well, at least Southern US group-dining etiquette is that everyone at the table stays until everyone’s done, unless otherwise specified). If I can get a cup of coffee, sit down, and get up for refills or a sandwich or to leave as I need to, I don’t mind sharing the space with someone I’m not there “with”, if that makes sense.
Ah yes, I understand that. Outside factors ruling your movement.
Also, this is why I prefer more casual “first date” locations; if it’s unbelievably awkward, one person or the other can leave without waiting for the date to finish up.
When we lived in Germany (it was still West Germany back then), table sharing was common and expected. I live in Nashville, Tennessee now and except for a few “family-style” restaurants, I don’t see much of it around here.
I don’t know, it’s probably my antisocialness coming out but I want my table to myself. I don’t take a large table unless I have to, and in those cases if the restaurant/location is full I expect to have to share empty seats, but otherwise, I definitely want to be left alone.
Oh, interesting topic! First, I should say that I’m an American from the Chicago area. I don’t see much table sharing here however, when I visit the west coast (Portland, OR) I do see it.
It depends; I have no issue sharing tables at coffee shops or book stores when I’m by myself and have no problem exchanging a few words with someone when they first sit down. A restaurant is a bit of a different animal. I think I would be okay with sharing a table, but may not necessarily want to converse with the other people for the duration of the meal. When I go out with my spouse, friends or family, I’m there to talk to them and not really meet strangers. Though if I was alone, I’d be fine with it.
Oh, I should add that I would ALWAYS try to leave a chair in between if possible. That is just common in the US. It is considered rude to sit right next to a stranger if you don’t have to (at least in this part of the country).
Oh taking the chair next to you while there are plenty free ones left feels a bit icky, definitely. I think people with bad BO do that, for some reason.
LOL, that would be creepy! This is also true for bathroom stalls. When there are several stalls in a row and someone goes into the one right next to you when there are other empty ones further away, it’s kind of unnerving.