Eric Gets Things Done
The episode begins with Eric glamoring the daughter of the Governor. She is dressed in a virginal white nightgown, with a cross around her neck. She says her name is Willa, short for Willa She Survive the Season, or maybe Willa She Be Annoying. Eric plans to kill her (with a surprising lack of subtlety, he refers to ripping her apart “right down here”). She is on her way to the Big Sleep when she says something that gets his attention. She can tell him about the experiments. He whisks her out of the house right before the guards arrive to re-capture him.
He delivers her to Fangtasia, to the dismay of Pam, who wants to killa Willa, and Tara, who wants to glamor her and send her back. Eric tells them to gather anything they want to save, because the Governor’s men are not far behind, and they are likely to destroy Fangtasia. Pam says hell to the no, but Eric eventually wins the point.
Willa ‘fesses up: Daddy has been experimenting on vampires – studying them and doing really creepy stuff. She doesn’t know where it is happening, though. She only knows because she is snooping. At this point I am wondering about why they cast this particular actress in this role, since she strongly resembles Eric’s sister, all the way down to the pouty lips.
Pam has packed up her belongings, all of which can fit in a small box thanks to the Governor’s sacking of the place. She is devastated, but Eric consoles her by calling the place “just a bar.” Still, he stares wistfully at the throne, which I will forever think of as the Sookie throne. Considering that Eric just mentioned meeting Sookie for the first time and the white dress she was wearing, I think that he’s thinking the same thing. (Damn, those two were hot back then.) Pam again wants to kill Willa, give her back to Burrell, anything but bring her with. Eric points out that she is their only bargaining chip.
Eric shows up at Ginger’s. Ginger is delighted that finally she’s going to get a shot at Eric (this explains a lot about why she still works at Fangtasia), but when she sees that Willa, Pam and Tara are along for the ride, she’s disappointed. In front of witnesses, Eric promises he’ll have sex with her eventually.
In the coffin, Willa tells Eric that she really likes vampires and that her mom actually ran off with a vamp. She digs him, big time.
They call the Governor with their terms. The Governor is on his way to get them, and Eric and the gang prepare to go somewhere else. Except, when they get upstairs, Tara has disappeared with Willa.
Bill Puzzles About Stuff
Bill is very upset by his vision of his vampire friends being herded up and experiencing the true death. He vows to prevent this, and sets out to test his powers by standing outside. He gets crispy pretty quickly, so daywalking isn’t one of them.
Jessica wants to help, so Bill sends her to seduce the professor who synthesized True Blood. Dress inappropriately, he says. Jess obliges in a schoolgirl outfit that would be at home in an ’80s Van Halen video.
Bill shows up Chez Stackhouse to ask for Sookie’s help to save all of her vampire friends. He needs blood. She refuses. He hurts Jason’s increasingly scrambled noggin. He leaves, but she is dead to him. They are both fine with that.
Jason is starting to get a pretty bad headache and takes some painkillers. While Sookie is practicing creating glowing balls of light in her bedroom, Niall senses Warlow is watching. He rushes out to confront the Warster. Yadda yadda yadda, Warlow is not seen, Sookie says she is so used to being scared that it’s hard to get too worked up about Warlow, Jason’s head hurts.
Jason tells Sookie of his visions of their parents egging him on in his racist, anti-vampire thoughts. She’s worried about him. Either he’s getting his own brand of powers or all his high-school football concussions have finally come home to roost. Still, they have a nice moment.
Meanwhile, Niall visits that fairy nightclub and sees signs of a bloodbath. He uses his fairy powers to read from the puddles of blood. (Unbidden, it comes to me that Rutger Hauer could definitely still hit it. Maybe it’s the outfit. That gray paisley vest and pinstriped coat are fantastic.) He comes across a badly wounded Claude (at least I think it’s Claude), who confirms that a powerful vampire did this. Niall sends Claude back to the light, which appears to be some sort of awesome euthanasia.
After leaving Fairy Bar, Niall runs into Ben, who is looking for the Bar. Ben recognizes Niall and they talk about Warlow. Ben wants to help, especially Sookie. Niall and Ben head to Sookie’s. Ben wants to help. Sookie warms up to Ben. She can feel him listening when she can’t feel the others. (Whatever.) He’s very cute in a boy next door way, but right now he’s a placeholder until they can put Sookie back into Eric or Bill’s orbit.
They catch Eric’s sister (oh yeah, Nora, that’s her name) spying outside, looking for Warlow. They are about to interrogate her, when Jason collapses (around the time they say Warlow’s name – I don’t know if that’s a coincidence or not), and Nora makes like a banana.
I’m Not Going to Try to Be Clever for This Subheading
Since the writers certainly haven’t been with this plotline. The werewolves have Emma. The police come, but Emma is just a husky puppy. (Said puppy is the only reason why I think the storyline has any value.) Rikki doesn’t like the exposure from Emma. Alcide says Emma’s a wolf, so she stays with the pack. Martha makes Rikki bow to Alcide. The last thing is not important, but it creeps me out.
The Vampire Gang (OK, the Vampire Unity Society) have rescued Sam and want to help him get Emma. Sam appreciates the offer, but he doesn’t need help. Lafayette thinks Miss Vampire Unity Society is going to be trouble. He doesn’t want to get sentimental, but Lafayette is here for Sam.
The VUS show up to get Emma and get slaughtered, all except Prettyface Goodhair, who is spared by Alcide. Alcide didn’t want to kill the VUS, but his pack went rogue on him. While this is happening, Sam helps Emma escape.
Holly and Andy and Fairy Kids
Andy teaches Holly to shoot. The kids are now tweens, who are known only by their numbers. Bill finds out about them. Maybe he can get the fairy blood out of them.
Reasons Why it Might be Worth Watching True Blood this Season
- The old Eric is back. Need I say more?
- Niall is awesome.
- No more fairy bar.
Reasons Why it Might NOT be Worth Watching True Blood this Season
- The werewolf/shifter plotline. Not even Alcide’s musclebound self can save this stinker.
- Fairy kids. I’m bored already.
- Not enough Lafayette or Pam. (Also, Tara can effectively neutralize ALL of Pam’s awesomeness. It’s a special superpower.)
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