In a perfect world, people could buy things based on how freaking awesome they are as humans.
If that were the case, the following items could be acquired by your P-Mag team with the greatest of ease, because, c’mon, they are all the bee’s knees. Unfortunately, since nobody has made me queen yet so I can institute “You Are Awesome and Therefore Deserve All The Things” money, we are all stuck wishing and hoping and dreaming about these dream gifts.
Kym G— Christian Louboutin Artifice
I don’t think I could bring myself to spend almost $3k on shoes, even if I had it, but since this is a gift guide, I can pretend that I would allow my imaginary fabulously wealthy aunt to gift them to me. Look at how pretty, y’all. I just want to love them and kiss them and squeeze them and hold them.
QueSarahSarah – Pottery Awesomeness
Being the truly creative and artistic wonder that she is, QueSarahSarah is currently lusting after these fabulous pottery wheels and kilns. Why, oh why, must the things we need to create the wonder in our heads be so outlandishly priced??
Our Fearless Leader and Head Unicorn, Selena – The Most Bad-Ass Typewriter Around
This is, quite possibly, one of the coolest things ever. For those who want the feel of pounding the old keyboard yet don’t want to live in terror of their manuscript being strewn across a pond filled with eels by a big gust of wind (I have maybe seen Love, Actually a few too many times), Uncommon Goods has the perfect solution. Plug into a USB port, type away, and be saved by the magic of auto-save. Also, now all I can think about is the episode of Parks and Rec where Ron finds an old typewriter and decides to type every word he knows. “Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.”
Sara Habein – The Coolest Trip Ever
Our beloved Sara Habein would like an all expenses paid trip for her and the fam to The Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff. Could there be a more wonderful way for Doctor Who fans to live the dream? I think not. I will admit to not being clued in to the whole Doctor Who thing (ducks and begs for forgiveness. It’s on my list, I swear). But, I am aware to how intense the fandom is around this show, so I can only imagine what a dream this would be for die-hard fans.
Alyson – A Rare Piece of Music History
Our lovely Alyson is currently coveting a concept album by The Mountain Goats and John Vanderslice. Since it was only sold only on their 2009 tour and with only 1,000 pressings, this is, unfortunately, far from a one-click and buy gift. The person who could track down this impressive piece of music for Alyson would have all of my mad props for true sleuthing.
Natasha – Some Seriously Hard Core Sewing Gear
Our witty and clever Natasha would like to put us all to shame with her mad sewing skills with this bananas loaded 5-in-1 fashion, home décor, quilting, heirloom and embroidery machine. There was no price on the Singer page, which always makes me think of those “Price Upon Request” things in magazines, which basically means “if you have to ask, you can’t afford it, you poor person.” But oh man, this things is amazeballs. I would love to borrow it for the embroidery machine part. So cool. I would embroider everything.
The inimitable Karo would like to make out with Adam Duritz from the Counting Crows, the box set of 30 Rock, and a trip to Australia.
While one might be a tad more attainable than the other two — seriously, I cannot find the 30 Rock complete series box set anywhere and airfare to Australia is just bonkers — they all fall under dream gifts, in my opinion. Even if Adam Duritz isn’t particularly your type, just think — kissing him means you are kissing the lips that have kissed some of the hottest ladies in Hollywood. That dude has knocked boots with Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Emmy Rossum, Christina Applegate, and Monica Potter, to name only a few. An easy way to make all Karo’s dreams come true is to fly her to Melbourne with Adam Duritz while watching 30 Rock episodes on the plane in between lots of snogging.
Pileofmonkeys – A Gift That Just Blew My Freaking Mind
Dude. I can’t even right now. Mind. Blown. This little spigot is built into a countertop and through whatever magic the little coffee elves do, pours you bomb-ass coffee out of it. You can program your drink order WITH YOUR PHONE. I have long known that our beloved pileofmonkeys was a cut above, but this information just kicked her into the stratosphere of awesomeness.
Juniper – A Place to be Bookish and Clever
The ever thoughtful and delightful Juniper would like a cozy place to curl up this holiday season, perhaps near a roaring fire somewhere, wrapped in a cozy throw with hot cocoa and an old book. What better place than this beautifully crafted rocking chair?
Marena – The Laptop to End All Laptops
I think Marena’s dream gift makes it clear that we have most definitely got a bad-ass in the house here at P-Mag. For serious gamers, this is the laptop to make your play top-notch. I would not even know what to do with this much computer.
So there you have it, everyone. Should any of you have copious amounts of money that you would like to spend on your favorite blog staff, please, don’t be shy.
So what about you? If money, logistics, and time were of no consequence, what is your dream gift this year? Please share in the comments!