New Show Recap: Scandal, 3×14, “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”

This week in Scandal, questions got answered, and we said goodbye to one of the few predominantly decent characters left on the show. We also got to see some of our favorite monsters and demi-monsters act like human beings, or at least try to.

Remember When Jake Shot Someone?

Well, it turned out to be James. Jake killed James along with the NSA source and the reporter. He tells David, who has witnessed all of this, to keep his yap shut or he’ll be worm food soon enough. David will also be leading the investigation of James’ death. Yikes.

In Which Cyrus Beene Responds Like a Human Being

Cyrus mourns. Liv tries to take care of him, but Cy wants to keep working (this is a surprise?). He rails at staffers and throws himself into thwarting Sally Langston’s plans to leverage James’ death to ingratiate herself with the NRA. He also spends a lot of time in the New Republic of Flashbackia, where he remembers significant moments in his relationship with James. It’s sweet, but it doesn’t exactly cover new ground: James pushed Cy into acting like a human being and acknowledging their relationship publicly.

Sally is not Fitz’s Pally

Sally tells Fitz she’s going to stop campaigning out of respect for James’ death, then immediately contacts the NRA to see if she can leverage James’ death to make political hay. (What is so desirable about hay, political or otherwise, anyway? Why is it a good thing?). Mellie urges Fitz to follow suit, but Fitz balks at politicizing James’ death. (And yet, by the end of the episode, the Grant administration has done just that.) Sally flies out to meet with the NRA – or she tries to, because Cyrus Beene grounds Air Force Two. Sally can’t beat Cyrus, not today.

OPA Figures it Out

It doesn’t take long for Liv’s crack team of investigators to suss that James was murdered along with the journalist and NSA sources. Abby is extremely worried about David, and rightly so. Jake is pressuring David to close the case immediately, but David, having a working, functional conscience, is torn, even though he knows if he doesn’t, he could be taking a dirt nap ere long.

Abby is worried
Abby is worried about David, being a good girlfriend, and looking fabulous in blue. (Photo credit: ABC)

Is it Really That Hard in DC to Meet Men?

Olivia is horrified to hear that Jake killed James. She comments that he has turned into her father. What really amazes me is that Jake even uses the same strange cadence of speech Rowan uses: “Fast fast fast fast fast clipped. clipped. clipped. fast fast fast.” Jake however, thinks of himself as a more humane Command because he does the real dirty work himself (literally, since he digs the graves himself). Actually though, it just means he can’t delegate.

Olivia is so lost that she turns to her father for comfort. That is just tragic. Is Liv so devoid of legitimate relationships with people who haven’t been abusive to her? Rowan thinks that Liv’s raison d’etre is to keep all of these bad people from doing bad stuff. She drags them back into the light. He holds Liv’s hand awkwardly, asks if he is done being a father, and then races off.

Wow, so Olivia’s role in life is to make evil men a small percentage less evil. I did not know that. I wonder if she did.

At this point, I would like to have a moment of silence for the women in the imaginary world of Scandal, because in that version of DC, the single men all appear to be obsessive homicidal egomaniacs with Madonna/whore complexes. And all of these men are equally obsessed with Olivia Pope.

(In the real DC, of course, men will turn down a date with a sexy woman in order to work on a really important white paper. They’re focused on their jobs, too, though, so I guess that part of Scandal is realistic.)

All Wrapped Up

David finally succumbs to pressure and arrests the pre-selected patsy. (Said patsy will get medical care for his otherwise terminal cancer in jail, which seems to be a good deal to this guy, so maybe he deserves to be in jail.) Cy insists on announcing the arrest, but it is too much for him. He’s haunted by all of the memories of his time with James. He loses it at the podium and is helped offstage by Fitz. Somehow Fitz is going to get a bump from this, I suspect, since now he looks like a caring friend.

Why Can’t I Get Excited About Maya Pope?

Adnan and Maya Pope have deals of their own to make, but Adnan is finding out that Maya Pope can be a (super sexy) loose cannon. I still can’t devote much time to this plot. 

While You Were Out Being a Jackass

Mellie and Andrew banter while hunting. Later they drunkenly discuss the Bill of Rights, focusing on the Second Amendment, which is apparently the equivalent of getting to second base. Soon they are moving on to searching and seizing, and Mellie has gotten her groove back.

Am I the only one who noticed that Mellie’s underwear matched her merlot-colored dress perfectly? She’s always a First Lady, even when she isn’t one. A lady, that is.

You Might Win Some, but You Just Lost One

Quinn returns home to find Huck in her apartment. He came there to kill her, he says, but then he realizes that she wouldn’t have been seen on camera breaking into OPA’s office for B613 unless she wanted him to see it so OPA could know what B613 is up to — he taught her too well. So, he’s good with her, then? Who knows. Then they kiss passionately after Quinn spits in Huck’s face. (MY EYES. MY BRAIN. MY INNER SPIRIT. ALL BROKEN. ~ed.)

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO!

He tortured her! He forcibly removed her teeth! He planned to kill her!

Do they expect us to forget THIS? (Photo credit: ABC TV)
Do they expect us to forget THIS? (Photo credit: ABC TV)
Or this? (Photo credit: ABC TV)
Or THIS? (Photo credit: ABC TV)

It was non-consensual torture! And now they are making out? No, Scandal! This will not pass! You shall not pass!

You shall not pass!
You shall not pass!

I need to do a searching personal inventory about this show after this. Seriously, I do.

Breaking a Butterfly on a Wheel

And finally, the show closes with James lying on the pavement while Jake apologizes for the agonizing death James will have. It has to look like an accident, after all. James can’t speak, but he looks quite upset. He also assures James that his daughter will be taken care of. Jake also isn’t clear about why exactly James had to die — after all, James has switched his allegiance back to Cyrus. Even if James didn’t need to hear it, the viewers definitely did, Jake.

Goodbye, James. You are co-dependent no more. We’ll miss you and your witty words of wisdom and despair. We’re sorry you had to have such a bad death, and that Jake made it all about him. We hope Cyrus will make sure you are buried in something flattering. He owes you that.

This article was edited to change the second “James” in the fourth paragraph to “Jake,” and to add an “I” to the beginning of the first sentence of the 14th paragraph.

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Moretta

Moretta will take that applause. Her Twitter is https://twitter.com/GobezMoretta.

3 thoughts on “New Show Recap: Scandal, 3×14, “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang””

  1. This is sort of a purpose-less post, but because Moretta mentions it I wanted to share anyway. :)

    …I stopped watching the show after the rape scene, and that choice seemed confirmed by the torture scene. I read this recap to see if it was safe to return…it is not. Scandal shall not pass for me anyway; officially done. :/

    1. I think easy-going Charlie has kind of fallen for Quinn, and he is a cold-blooded killer, but at the same time, it seems out of character for him to freak out about anything.

      And yeah, that was the most obvious kiss preamble ever. It was textbook except for her spitting in his face.

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