I’m reaching the age where I’m caught between geezers and kids these days. Here are some things I don’t understand.
My mother loved the Pokemon cartoon show and had a talking Pikachu. The kids at the summer camp I worked at (in 2007) were impressed I knew the likes of Psyduck and Jiggleypuff. Yet the show and games’ appeal continue to elude me. You just capture wild animals and make them fight for your amusement forever?
I like this meme though:
2. Phone calls
What if an actual person picks up? What if no one picks up? Should I rehearse what I’m going to say one more time? Why can’t I program my cellphone to play a (fake) dial tone?
I mean literally, what is calculus? I’m reading Wikipedia, and I’m already lost after two paragraphs. How is it related to trig? I took trig and barely made it through with a C. How was that getting me ready for calculus? Wikipedia says, “Calculus is also used to gain a more precise understanding of the nature of space, time, and motion.” The vastness of space and time freak me out, so I guess it’s no wonder that calculus is beyond me.
4. Early Bird Specials
Isn’t that just lunch? I mean, I’m typically eating breakfast at 2 p.m., so I don’t mean to judge.
5. SuperWhoLock (Supernatural/Dr. Who/BBC Sherlock)
Why does everyone like watching shows that make them sad? And I see this word a lot; is this meant to be a crossover, or just a declaration that one likes all of these shows?
Also, it was only recently that I realized there are three guys on Supernatural. I have the same problem with Game of Thrones: Oh, which dark haired, 20-something white guy is this?
6. Not having more female characters in everything.
I’m so tired of stories about dudes. Look, I know the Bechdel Test isn’t meant to be an end-all be-all indicator of quality, but why is it so hard to get two (or more!) female characters to talk about something non-love-interest-related in the same piece of media?
7. Likewise, not having more POC characters, queer characters, etc.
Sleepy Hollow is an awesome show. It’s funny and cheesy and scary. It stars a white guy as Ichabod Crane… and a black woman as his kick-ass partner (plus her equally cool sister), a black man as a police captain, an Asian-American man as another police officer-turned-demonic minion, and a Latino man as yet another police officer. The stories are compelling, engaging, complex, and reveal new voices, ones we often don’t get to here on prime time TV.
Right now, everyone kinda has a crush on Abbie, but who knows, there’s time for queer characters to show up (maybe Katrina?!).
8. Whistling, horns, and trumpets in songs
Songs from the ’80s often had harmonica or saxophone in them, which I really dislike. I wondered if people at the time disliked it or if everyone enjoyed that feature of the music or what. Well, now I know that most likely not everyone enjoyed it, because I dislike the current trend of whistling, horns, and trumpets.
(I actually like “Little Talks,” but that’s one offender.)
9. Facial hair
I prefer a clean-shaven face. Because his body belongs to him, my husband usually has facial hair. So scratchy.
10. CGI Movies
Why go to all the trouble if the female characters all have the same face, anyway? I miss the warmth of hand-drawn animation.
11. Driving video games
I can’t even handle a real car, never mind trying to remember which button does what on the controller.
I totally remember when they used to play music videos. Let’s go take it over!
It’s an orange commonly used in Earl Grey and Lady Grey tea. I love tea, but it tastes so weird.
I use Twitter, don’t get me wrong. I’m just not really sure what I’m using it for or what I’m doing.
15. The word “selfie” (at least the media’s obsession with it)
Taking pictures of yourself/your friends by holding the camera at arm’s length. I went to high school in the ’90s, and we did that.
16. Tattoos you can’t see (because they are on your back, for example)
I mean, I get wanting to have a lot of skin for a large design. But if I’m paying that much money, I want to be able to see the tattoo without craning my neck in a mirror.
17. Internships and doing things for the exposure/experience
My landlord doesn’t accept “experience.”
18. Why the deli down the street changed its menu
It used to be so delicious. Now it’s like, yeah, cold ham sandwiches and one kind of cookie. I’ll just buy a container of Oscar Mayer.
19. The baby upstairs.
I’m not super friendly with the neighbors, but I always say hi. I haven’t noticed any signs of pregnancy or adoption: Chris hasn’t looked pregnant, no empty boxes for cribs or strollers. So why is there a baby constantly crying? Is it theirs? Does it belong to a visitor? Is it one of those dolls used in home ec classes?
20. People who don’t fact check
It takes two seconds to check Snopes or even Wikipedia (which I don’t allow my students to use, but I’m a hypocrite and use it all the time, and it’s generally reliable enough). I see weird, inaccurate stuff posted on Facebook and elsewhere by my older relatives as well as people my own age.