Close Encounters of the Patriarchal Kind

Let’s just go ahead and agree: Our culture is sneakily patriarchal. Some of the things we say and do (and that others say and do) are such a part of our every day life, that we look back afterwards and go, “Huh.  So that was some subtext.” Other types we just want to yell, “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” Here are some of those times.
And so, for your enjoyment, a series of vignettes of true conversations that I have had with real human beings in the last year.

With a random person at the park:

“Are you married?”

“No.”

“God has made the perfect man for a nice girl like you. Just keep praying, He’ll show you. You’ll be married in no time.”

Gif of a woman saying "I'm Glad You Think So Highly of Me"

With a coworker:

“You’re young! You have plenty of time to have kids! What are you, 22?”

“I’m 27.”

“Oh.  You should probably get on that then.”

Gif of Bernadette Peters giving epic bitchface, captioned "#You have got to be kidding me"

With the dentist’s office:

“Your name?”

“Amandamarieg.”

“The name of the insured?”

“Amandamarieg.”

“No, your spouse’s name so that I can look it up through MetLife.”

“I am the insured. I am the employee. It’s my insurance.”

Gif from Doctor Who of Davd Tennant pulling out his sonic screwdriver and saying, "ugh...give me a break"

With a vendor:

“Are you even old enough to work here?” [Say it with a leer!]

“Yes.” [I am only 6 months younger than the men around me at this time.]

Gif from Game of Thrones of Arya saying "Someday... I'm gonna put a sword through your eye."

With a realtor:

“What do you think about this one?”

“I am buying the house, not him. It will be in my name, like we discussed on the phone. Please look at me.”
Gif from Community of Shirley saying "The lord is testing me."

With another coworker:

“Take them to that girl.”

“Who?”

“You know, that girl that handles this stuff.”

“She is a grandmother. Twice over.”

“Yeah. That girl.”

Gif of Gordon Ramsey yelling, "What is so fucking complicated?!"

In the hallway:

“Smile!”

“I’m at work.”

Gif of Katniss Everdeen curtseying sarcastically

Published by

amandamarieg

Amandamarieg is a lawyer who does not work as a lawyer. She once wrote up a plan to take over the world and turned it in as a paper for a college course. She only received an A-, because she forgot that she would need tech geeks to pull off her scheme.

Leave a Reply