After last week’s ick-fest, I’d like to say that this Scandal doesn’t get down and dirty. Boy would I like to say that. But I can’t.
B613 is Going DOWN, Baby!
Liv decides to work with Rowan to take Vitamin B613 down on the condition that Rowan doesn’t harm Fitz. She finds out how they fund themselves (they rerouted tiny amounts of funding to a secret account using computer magic). They need to find an algorithm. Huck wants no part of this when he learns that Liv is working with her father. He tells her Rowan is playing her. Liv says, “This is the job.” Huck does it.
Today in Fitz is a Jerk, Liv Learns Nothing
Fitz walks out of a briefing led by Abby (Liv is avoiding Fitz for a few minutes) because it isn’t Liv. He doesn’t even bother to get her name straight. Liv ends up coming in to fix the Jeannine Lock book crisis (she’s written a tell-all). He pouts to Liv, who has come in to combat the Locke situation. He wants Andrew to leave the ticket. Liv says no. Fitz pouts some more. She gets frustrated and gives an impassioned speech. She’s so eloquent in expressing her pain — too bad she is full of it. Fitz says it isn’t his fault. How exactly is that true, Fitz? It comes out that Fitz wants Andrew to stop having sex with Mellie. Liv says she’ll handle it.
Andrew+Mellie = No
Andrew keeps trying to connect with Mellie who is avoiding him. He looks at her like she is the only thing in his world. God help me, I believe him. I really think he’s in love with her. Liv gives Andrew an ultimatum: get rid of Mellie within 24 hours. Andrew protests that he loves Mellie. Liv looks moved and cynical at the same time. She says she’s never met a man like Andrew who wouldn’t choose power over love. Well, it’s nice to know she is aware of it in the abstract. Ultimately, Andrew does choose power, but it’s because he has seen how excited and dynamic Mellie is in a speech she gives to group of injured soldiers. He realizes she loves this part of the job. So, when she shows up afterwards and wants to talk about the speech, Andrew brushes her off. Mellie is furious, rushes into Fitz’s office, and slaps him hard in the face. Once again, the Secret Service does nothing. They probably receive daily briefings about who is allowed to get violent in the Oval Office (Mellie can slap Fitz, Cyrus Beene can slap Jake, and so on).
So there we have it. No more Meldrew. Finished before they start. Dunzo.
Jake is no Rowan
Jake, who is clearly staggering from the weight of being Control, shows up outside Liv’s apartment, drunk. He is maudlin and whines for her to let him in. She won’t. She doesn’t want someone who kills her friends. Jake says that James wasn’t Liv’s friend, and he would never kill her friends. (Way to draw that line in the sand, Jake.) Jake tells Liv he could get in if he wanted to, pounds on her door, and then reproaches her, “I asked you to save me.”
Liv Does the Job, Regardless of the Pain
Huck looks at the info Rowan provides. It’s gone. Huck was right, or was he? Rowan says Jake did it. Huck suggests that Liv “distract” Jake. Poor Jake. First he runs out of shirts, now he’s being used by Liv. Liv looks shocked but goes over and has sex with Jake, allowing the gang to use a gadget of some sort to steal all the information from Jake’s apartment.
Mama Knows Best
Maya Pope is getting a bomb from a sexy ex-boyfriend, double and triple dealing, and otherwise enjoying life. Harrison wants to find her. He contacts the sexy spy, Claire, he slept with earlier this season. She says she’s not going to alienate the most powerful woman in the femme fatale business. However, when she meets with Maya, she recognizes that Maya is bad news and decides to work with OPA. Bad decision, Claire! She helps Maya, and of course ends up dead for her problems.
Maya takes a minute from her busy schedule to stop by where Rowan and Liv are eating dinner. She warned them to stay out of her business, didn’t she? She also made this observation:
Women don’t Skuldiggery this Skulduggery
Abby gets a tape of Reston telling his imprisoned wife to play along or she’ll be in Victorian-style lunatic asylum for the rest of his life. It goes viral in no time, and BOOM, it’s effectively a two-person race.
Against Liv’s best wishes, Cy leaks that Sally’s daughter had an abortion when she was 13 years old. This is close to your finest moment, Cy. Very close. Fortunately, the time you nearly assassinated your late husband was actually the low point.
Boom! Huzzah! Oh, Wait…
Boom! B613 goes down, and for some reason, they all feel like their plan has worked. Certainly Quinn and Charlie seem to think so (and Quinn definitely reveals that she is the ultimately team OPA, which doesn’t play well for Charlie, who has been quizzing Quinn jealously about relationships).
They have barely uncorked the first Jeroboam of champagne when Jake busts into OPA’s office, grabs Liv by the throat, slams her up against a wall and tells her she has just killed the president. I repeat: HE GRABS HER BY THE THROAT AND SLAMS HER UP AGAINST A WALL.
Congratulations, Liv, you’ve just gotten rid of two problems at once — your emotionally abusive boyfriend and your physically abusive boyfriend! (Because of course you are never going to get near Jake again, right?)
This season can’t end soon enough. (Ed. Note: The shuttlebus for hell for those of us that hope Maya really does blow Fitz up is loading behind the Denny’s. Drinks and snacks will be provided.)