P-Mag’s Pop Culture Horoscope: Gina Torres Edition

Feeling confused, lost, or in need of guidance? Look not to the stars in the sky, my friends, but to those on your TV and movie screens, and see which of Gina Torres’s many and varied roles should be your inspiration this week.


Taurus (April 20 to May 20)

Screenshot of Gina Torres as Jasmine on TV show Angel
Jasmine from Angel

Everyone seems to love and adore you this week, Taurus. But you may have to ask yourself, is it for the right reasons? Like Jasmine here, are you hiding your true self in order to gain acceptance and love? Taurus, I’m sure you’re not hiding the same kind of secret Jasmine was (and if you do have a face made up of maggots, I think they have specialists for that), but you’re not doing yourself any favors by hiding away what and who you are. Show the world who you really are, Taurus. I bet you’ll find they still love you.


Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

Screenshot of Gina Torres as Anna Espinosa from TV show Alias
Anna Espinosa from Alias

Gemini, you’re good at what you do and you love doing it, but this week, think about who you might be hurting in the process of your pursuit of excellence. We all have rivals, sure, but does keeping your eye on the prize (proverbial or Rambaldi) mean that you’re continually trying to knock someone out of the game (proverbially or, you know, repeated attempted murder?). Anna might be a spy’s spy and an assassin’s assassin, but she leaves a trail of death and destruction in her wake. Is that really what you want to do to achieve your goals, Gemini?


Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

Screenshot of actress Gina Torres as Nebula from TV show Hercules
Nebula from Hercules

It’s pretty hard to go wrong with Nebula here as a role model. Leaving behind a life as a princess because she wasn’t happy with how women were treated in her society, she went on to be a pirate captain. A pirate captain princess, Cancer! It’s like all of your little girl dream careers in one! Look at what’s holding you back this week and keeping you from true greatness. You may need to consider leaving behind something that seems pretty great but is actually really stifling in order to move on to somewhere you can truly shine. Only you know for sure.


 Leo (July 23 to August 22)

Screenshot of Gina Torres as Lila Robinson from TV show Pushing Daisies
Lila Robinson from Pushing Daisies

Sure, your wardrobe is every femme fatale’s dream, Leo, but like Lila here, does it come at the cost of manipulating those around you? The trouble with the long con, Leo, is that people get hurt. What’s the old saying? Grifters never prosper? Well, maybe that’s not exactly it, but think about the people who would love you if only given the chance. Don’t push them away or kidnap anyone they love to serve your own purposes. You’re better than that, Leo. You can still deserve the wardrobe without the fatale part.


 Virgo (August 23 to September 22)

Screenshot of character Vixen, voiced by Gina Torres, from TV show Justice League Unlimited
Vixen from Justice League Unlimited

Virgo, you may not have a magical amulet that lets you take on the characteristics of almost any animal, but your adaptability is definitely one of your strong suits. This week, you may find your ability to roll with the punches tested, and you may have to do some punching back. Your personal life might get a little messy, with old flames perhaps back in the picture, but part of what makes you so great is that you can still do what needs to get done without jealousy or competitiveness getting in the way. Be great, vixen Virgo, and take strength from what inspires you, maybe by becoming that thing, even just a little bit.


Libra (September 23 to October 22)

Screenshot of actress Gina Torres as Zoe Washburn from TV show Firefly
Zoe from Firefly

Libra, you are way more badass than you think. Like Zoë here, you’re fiercely protective, wittily dry (drily witty?), and take no prisoners if it comes to that. But the lesson to learn from Zoë is that you can do all of that without losing what makes you uniquely you. You can kick all kinds of ass and still be kind, you can still show love and concern and remember that your relationships (both romantic and platonic) take precedence over assorted badassery. Find your balance this week, Libra. And (metaphorically) come at someone with both barrels if they piss you off enough.


Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)

Screenshot of Actress Gina Torres as Bella Crawford on TV show Hannibal.
Bella Crawford from Hannibal

You’re living life on your own terms, Scorpio, or at least you’re trying to. Circumstances beyond your control may try to dictate what you do and how you do it, but be strong and take back control. You may seek help from the wrong people, but you might not find that out until it’s too late. That’s OK. Draw on your own inner strength and know that even if the people around you aren’t as they seem (and what is that really on your dinner plate?), you’re grabbing your destiny by both antlers and just trying to steer as best you can.


Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)

Screenshot of actress Gina Torres plying Cleopatra from TV show Xena: Warrior Princess
Cleopatra from Xena: Warrior Princess

You are the true queen, Sagittarius. Unfortunately, that means you’re fending off assassins and asps around every corner, with everyone else trying to get control over what you have. Being constantly on your guard is exhausting, but look to those around you who can offer help when you need it or take over if worse comes to worst. Stay regal, Sagittarius. You have the power; just watch out for all of those who want to take it from you.


Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)

Screenshot of character Airachnid, voiced by Gina Torres, from animated series Transformers Prime
Airachnid from Transformers Prime

You’re a little too into being a bad guy this week, Capricorn. Sure, being a little evil can be kind of fun, but next thing you know, you’re a full-blown Decepticon and collecting trophies from the last of species. You should probably dial it back a little bit, because while the bad guys usually have the fun toys, the good guys eventually catch up, and you don’t want to see yourself locked away in an Autobot base. I mean, have you heard an Optimus Prime monologue? Talk about boring. Stop flirting with the dark side, Capricorn, and try to find a way to have some fun without all the evil.


Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)

Screenshot of actress Gina Torres as Jessica Pearson from TV show Suits
Jessica Pearson from Suits

First of all, Aquarius, if nothing else, let Jessica Pearson be your style icon this week. Her wardrobe is what we should all aspire to, if business awesome is the preferred dress code. You may have an ice queen reputation, but ruthlessness is just another way of protecting yourself. Your walls may be up, but let people in, at least a little. You’re smart enough to know who to trust and how much, and as much as you’d like to do it all on your own, sometimes you need some carefully cultivated allies. The world at large sees your outer strength, but don’t keep your inner strengths hidden away all the time.


Pisces (February 19 to March 20)

Screenshot of actress Gina Torres as Hel on TV show Cleopatra 2525
Helen Carter from Cleopatra 2525

Pisces, sometimes life lands good people on terrible TV shows. But, like the divine Ms. Torres in Cleopatra 2525 here, you can be counted on to make the best of a bad situation, especially if it’s for just a short time. So take whatever pile of crap life hands you this week, Pisces, and do your best with it. One day, you might just look back on it fondly. Or possibly pretend it never happened.


Aries (March 21 to April 19)

Screenshot of actress Gina Torres as Julia Milliken on TV show 24
Julia Milliken from 24

Feeling in a little over your head this week, Aries? Before you start coming up with desperate plans and enlisting shady allies, think about what you really want, and what kind of person you want to be in order to get it. Every decision you make sets off a chain reaction of events, and the last thing you need is for everything to snowball, leaving you with very few choices at the end. Before you act, ask yourself if you’re making a wise decision, or if you’re going to end up out of your depth with some very powerful enemies. Unlike Julia, you can turn things around just by choosing not to dig yourself deeper into whatever mess you’re in. Coming clean can suck, but it can save you, Aries.


 

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[E] Rachel

I punctuate sentences with Oxford commas, and I punctuate disagreements with changesocks. Proud curmudgeon. Get off my lawn.

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