Friday News Bites: Marriage Equality, Animal Awwws + More

In a stunning turn of events, I have mostly good news to share this week because I feel like we all need it. First though, let’s get the unpleasant and ridiculous out of the way.

A Florida legislator is somehow equating Common Core State Standards with “promot[ing] double-mindedness in state education and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can.”  I’m not even sure how that leap of logic comes about, but okay, dude.

On a related note: Maria Konnikova has an interesting article at The New Yorker about why people persist in believing things that are not true.

In Thailand, a military coup has imposed nightly curfews, the suspension of the country’s constitution, and a call for an early election.

After former New York Times editor Jill Abramson’s firing, more people are calling for salary transparency in the media industry. The Glass Cliff is real, yo.

You probably want to change your eBay password, even if you haven’t used your account in a while. Luckily, PayPal is not affected by this recent security breach.

The remaining members of Led Zeppelin are being sued over “Stairway to Heaven” having strong similarities to a 1968 Spirit song called “Taurus.” And it’s true, around the 1:45 mark of “Taurus,” the songs bear striking resemblance to one another, but as one commenter on this article points out, both are directly derived from J.S. Bach.

Okay, so what about this good news that I promised?

You get marriage equality! And YOU get marriage equality! And you hopefully get marriage equality!

This week saw federal judges in Oregon, Utah, and Pennsylvania all declaring same-sex marriage bans unconstitutional, and in my home state of Montana, four couples are challenging the state’s ban. South Dakota also has a challenge in the works.

As of right now, North Dakota is the only state without a new law or a challenge in process for marriage equality. I’m guessing that will change soon. High-five, everyone!

(Can I make a small request though? Can we quit calling it “gay marriage?” Not everyone who is in a same-sex relationship is gay.)

Disney and Lucasfilm announced that a stand-alone Star Wars movie is in the works and will be released on December 16, 2016. Cue high-pitched squealing from at least one of your editors. [That would be me. -Hillary]

After recently paying a ridiculous price for the lime in my Russian Lit cocktail, I’m pleased to see that prices are headed back down as Mexican cartels have lost some control of lime-growing areas.

In “I’m not crying; you’re crying” news: In Denver, a mama duck successfully got a human bystander to rescue her ducklings who had become trapped in a storm drain.

Also, LOOK AT THIS HAPPY BABY GOAT USING A WHEELCHAIR.

See you next time, friends.

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Sara Habein

Sara Habein is the author of Infinite Disposable, a collection of microfiction, and her work has appeared on The Rumpus, Pajiba and Word Riot, among others. Her book reviews and other commentary appear at Glorified Love Letters, and she is the co-manager of Electric City Creative.

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