News in Europe: Royal Correspondence

Here’s something we tend to forget: There are still a lot of kings, queens and princes in Europe. Most of their citizens don’t actually give a toss about them, but countries who don’t have a monarchy have about 37 glossy weekly magazines dedicated to other nation’s monarchs. It’s been a busy week for them.

King Juan Carlos of Spain, who is 76 and suffers from health problems, has decided to abdicate. Crown Prince Felipe will be King Felipe shortly, and the glossy magazines have an excuse to make up more stories about his two little princesses, whose lives will no doubt change for the worse now they’re higher up the food chain.

There have been, however, anti-monarchy protests demanding a referendum.

Once the magazines run out of pictures of the Spanish princesses, they can dedicate themselves to speculations about the latest royal baby (or could it be TWINS?!): Princess Charlene of Monaco is pregnant, something royal experts the world over have been expecting (ha!) for years. Marrying a prince has never seemed so unattractive, you guys.

On to the real news, and Ukraine: Shortly after the election of the new president, violence in Eastern Ukraine escalated. The fights and fatalities are becoming too numerous to list in detail, and it all seems pretty grim. Enter Obama, who’s pledged a lot of money to buy more weapons for Eastern Europe, which sounds like a solid, peaceful, and well thought-out plan.

After the horrific murder of three visitors to the Jewish Museum in Brussels, five people, including the alleged killer, have been arrested. The main suspect had spent a year with jihadist fighters in Syria before the murders.

In Ireland, an unmarked mass grave for children has been found at the site of a home for unmarried mothers run by the Catholic church. Up to 800 children were buried between 1925 and 1961 in what is believed to be a septic tank. There are no words.

While the European Parliament is settling in for the next five years, there is still no Commission President. David Cameron is once again threatening to leave the EU, this time because he dislikes the favourite, Jean-Claude Juncker. And while his methods lack temperance, he might actually be right in his criticism of Juncker, according to some. The saga continues…

And finally, good news! We won’t have to live without Van Gogh’s missing ear any longer. An artist at a German museum has grown a replica ear from genetic material that is 1/16 that of Van Gogh. This totally makes my day.

See you next week, citizens.

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Karo

Schnazzy East German translator and cricket obsessive residing in England. I have other qualities, too.

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