The “Chopped” Drinking Game

Formulaic reality TV makes for great boozing.

A picture of a meat cleaver with the word "Chopped" on an orange background.
Image via foodnetwork.com.

Chopped is one of those shows I can watch mindlessly for hours on end. Since each competition lasts only one episode, you can jump in at any time and don’t have to know the background. But it’s basically the same exact thing over and over again, so sometimes you just need to make it interesting. Hence the drinking game.

Take a drink during the introductions if:

  • A chef has a sob story.
  • One of the contestants wants the prize money for an impending marriage or baby. Take another drink each time they mention the impending marriage or baby.
  • One of the contestants talks about how food saved them.
  • One of the contestants is a former banker/lawyer who left the corporate world for culinary school.
  • A chef is from Portland.
  • A chef works in New York City.
  • All four chefs are white men.
  • The episode has some kind of theme (budget, viewers’ choice, celebrity edition, etc).

Take a drink during the cooking if:

  • One of the ingredients is a part of an animal you didn’t know existed or was edible.
  • One of the ingredients is a vegetable or fruit no one has heard of.
  • One of the ingredients is meat in a can or jar.
  • One of the ingredients is a packaged, already-prepared food.
  • One or more of the chefs talks about how they don’t know what to do with “processed” foods because they only use “natural” ingredients.
  • One of the chefs gets super cocky about one of the ingredients. (Finish your drink if they then proceed to completely screw it up.)
  • Someone uses the ice cream machine. (Finish your drink if they use it during a round other than dessert.)
  • Someone says “blast chiller.”
  • Someone cuts themselves.
  • Something catches on fire that isn’t supposed to.
  • Someone makes a huge mess in a rush to plate.
  • Someone forgets to plate an ingredient.

Take a drink during judging if:

  • Aaron Sanchez looks a little stoned.
  • Geoffrey Zakarian says something condescending.
  • Alex Guarnaschelli gives one of the chefs a look that makes you realize you never want to meet her in a dark alley.
  • One judge gets a plate that’s missing something.
  • There’s a close-up of one of the chefs smiling when their competitor gets a bad critique.
  • The chef you think will be eliminated actually gets chopped.

Leave a comment if there’s anything else you think should be here!

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[E] Liza

PhD student. Knitter. Brooklynite. Long-distance dog mom. Reluctant cat lady. Majestic unicorn whose hair changes color with the wind.

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