Valentine’s Day is a pretty divisive holiday. Some people love it and some people avoid it like the plague. Some of us only remember it exists when there’s a “Red Hot” middle school dance they have to sort of chaperone.
Here are some of the people who you meet on every Valentine’s Day and gifts for them for sticking it out, year after year.
The adamantly anti-Valentine’s
Mostly high-school aged teenagers dressed in all black who haven’t yet figured out that ignoring the day is just as effective.
Gift: This someecard.
Drunk girls celebrating their lady friends and the power of female friendship.
Gift: A subjectless email with this YouTube video.
Found in a Godiva store right before his evening commute home, with small gifts for his children (aka grown-up me and my also grown brother) and a bigger version for his wife that inevitably given to the kids.
Gift: A desk calendar, because one year, Dad will remember a little bit before the morning of.
The last minute gifter
Unless you are stocking up on a significant other’s favorite brand, no, drugstore chocolate will not cut it. Just cook or order dinner like a grown up.
The bargain hunter
Found in all drugstores on Feb. 15th, stocking up on all discounted candy and novelty High School Musical Valentine’s Day cards.
Gift: Nothing. They have it figured out.