Preserve According to Kelly Kapoor

I know that picking on Blake Lively’s Preserve is pretty low-hanging fruit, just purely based on its lack of self-awareness and obvious attempts at recreating the eliteness of goop while also trying to be the All-American every girl and failing at all of this. This is why this week’s “Ladymags According to…” features someone who would appreciate this more than anyone else: Kelly Kapoor.


To help us along, I’ve included some of the text from all of the Preserve articles in all their splendor.

Introducing: Maman NYC

“Once upon a time (two months ago) we wandered outside our SoHo offices and stumbled into heaven: It’s decorated like the French country house you’ve only seen in movies, and it has this uncanny ability to constantly smell like freshly baked croissants.”


Oh the Places We’ll Go

“So far, we’ve put our focus into exploring the work and stories of incredible craftsmen whose goods are made in the U.S. But, what is the U.S. made of?”


Go Green

“Okay. So green is not your color. But that doesn’t mean you should cut it out of your life completely.”


Illustrated Eggs

“We sat down with illustrator Candice Kaye to put a pretty twist on an age old tradition: decorating eggs. This was a new medium for her—she’s typically working with watercolor and textiles.”


In God We Trust

“We held our very first social contest on Twitter a couple weeks ago. It was inspired by In God We Trust’s Sweet Nothings necklaces and Blake’s cookie recipe. We asked our followers to send us their cheekiest one-liners, and the winner would be made into an exclusive necklace for Preserve x In God We Trust. The contest was scary and exciting and we were shocked and amazed by the response.”


Different Cloaks for Different Folks

“We all have that one item in our closet that we reach for time and time again. These standout pieces become staples, replacing our go-to basics. There is no greater statement than a bold-patterned cloak that provides welcomed warmth and undeniable style no matter the occasion.”


Eye Candy

“There has been a controversy in the Preserve office and we have to set the record straight. It’s flickering and shimmering and really, really, pretty, but what exactly is druzy? Debate topics include whether or not it’s real (it is), and how exactly to pronounce it (pssst—it’s like drew-zee), and just how on Earth is it so freaking sparkly? Somebody went so far as to try to scrape off the top. We’ve never seen anything like it. Druzy—it’s a doozy.”


Tales of the Imagination

“Once upon a time in a faraway (suburban) land, two intrepid explorers set off on an exhibition that would take them (yet again) into uncharted lands. A journey as dangerous as the last, but this time… they would be better prepared.”


In conclusion,


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Karishma is a twenty-something living in New York City and is trying her hardest to live out every cliche about Millennials. This involves eating her feelings, drowning in debt and mocking infomercials. She likes sociology so much that she has two degrees in it, and is still warding off her parents' questions about a real career.

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