Ten years ago on March 30, America lost one of its most brilliant minds. Mitch Hedberg is cited all the time as one of the most influential comedians by other comedians of the last 25 years. I happen to agree with those comedians.
He definitely cracked me up from the first minute I found out about him. Unfortunately for me, I had not been introduced to him until after his death. Every time she would go on break, she would quote him.
“I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender…all you do is say what the shit does, and add “er.” I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that’s a fresher… I’m going on break.”
Needless to say, I was hooked. This easily let me transition out of liking shitty comics like Dane Cook and Joe Rogan. Thankfully I did, considering how much of a transmisogynist Rogan has turned out to be.
I had found Bill Hicks a few years earlier, so becoming a Hedberg fan was easy. They were kindred spirits even if their styles were a bit different. I tend to like heady comedy and weird shit; those two are definitely some of the best.
Hedberg has provided me with some of the best random references I make in my life. I always want to ask Subway employees if it’s true that ducks eat for free at Subway.
Pretty much anytime we have pizza in the Wings-McManus household, the smallest piece is referred to the donate to charity slice.
I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the “donate it to charity” slice. I would like to exchange this for the “keep it.”
Of course there is my personal favorite joke. It was also ranked number 1 by Buzzfeed last year when they ranked all of his bits.
My wife’s favorite is also quoted often, given the amount of upgrading our bus tunnels are going through.
I like escalators, because an escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. There would never be an “Escalator Temporarily Out of Order” sign. Only an “Escalator Temporarily Stairs… Sorry for the Convenience.”
He was a comedic genius who was taken from us way too soon. He is respected enough that famous people actually follow the Mitch Hedberg joke bot twitter that just tweets his jokes.
There will never be anyone else like him. I love you, Mitch.