Getting Questionable With Age

We all have childhood movie and TV faves that never seem to translate once you look at them with grown-up eyes.

Working in schools has changed a lot of the way I consume movies and TV. Any time there’s a teacher-student affair, implied or otherwise, I’m immediately out. When I was a teenager and I saw Never Been Kissed, I of course loved it. Drew Barrymore was the perfect misfit who is so not Josie Grossie anymore. Michael Vartan as the English teacher who inexplicably has a hockey stick in his classroom (for the young and hip factor) was the dreamiest. But everything about that romantic pairing was icky. Sure, they tried to make it okay by making her character in her mid-20s and pretending to be a student for what is quite possibly the most desperate move by a newspaper for tabloid relevancy, but her teacher still thought she was 17/18. He was attracted to her and was pressuring her to make career choices she wasn’t thrilled with. Her reluctance didn’t come from a place of naïveté but, well, she was already an adult with a career. He was trying to make choices for her because she was in a subordinate position and gross omg SO GROSS. Everything is gross and no amount of slow running to the pitcher’s mound can make this better (spoiler alert for Never Been Kissed).

The whole premise of The Parent Trap (1998) is so weird. Is that a thing that’s happened, like a couple divorced, split the babies, and no one knew anything about their family? Was it time for the divorce and the adults were like JACKPOT, we have identical twins so it won’t even be like we really miss the other kid because I mean she’ll look the same, amIright? Do Nick and Elizabeth have no friends or family who advised them that this was a terrible idea? What about Grandfather, Chessy, and Martin? What was their incentive for going along with this (besides paychecks for the last two)? Were nondisclosure agreements made? If so, are Chessy and Martin in violation of said agreement for colluding with the twins? What kind of name is Chessy?

Do you have any movies or TV shows that you liked as a kid that are actually really odd if you think about them now? Do kid adventure movies make you question the lack of parental figures in the heroes’ lives? Is bathroom humor something you loved as a kid and can no longer tolerate? Does anyone want to buy my copy of Never Been Kissed that I bought when I was 14 and loved that movie? Tell us about it in the comments!

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Karishma is a twenty-something living in New York City and is trying her hardest to live out every cliche about Millennials. This involves eating her feelings, drowning in debt and mocking infomercials. She likes sociology so much that she has two degrees in it, and is still warding off her parents' questions about a real career.

3 thoughts on “Getting Questionable With Age”

  1. I watched Hairspray the other night. At the end I was like, “Wait…so the white girl with the big hair apparently integrates television because she had the idea for one march? Which she only got attention for because she stole a dance move (albeit, with permission) from the one (of three) speaking POC? Basically this is a movie about Miley Cyrus as white savior?” I was so disappointed. (Still could look at Zefron’s and all day. No shame.)

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