Let’s watch the debate, shall we? Gawker’s dead, there’s a Chiapet running for President, it’s time for Persephone to start raising a little hades.
Howdy, politico Pmaggers!
We had some minor technical difficulties, this was a last minute thing we threw together, but I hit the shiny thing with my biggest hammer and now here we are. Let’s get debatey.
Fun fact: Presidential debates used to be moderated by the League of Women voters, until your friend and mine, Reagan.
“Please don’t boo Trump.”
What would happen if Trump crawled out a window in the dressing room and ran?
I’m watching CSPAN, it’s just silence.
Sara! Welcome! Get a bucket of wine and come sit next to me.
I’ve got the wine ready now!
I’ve never used one of these live blog things before, but we’ll see how I do toggling between this and Twitter (@sshabein, if anyone is interested.)
I’m about to pour some gin and fresca.
STEPHENS. I’m so glad you’re here.
I can’t drink until Lexie falls asleep, which better be soon because I don’t think I can handle this shit stone cold sober.
C-SPAN, still silence
I’m watching the Bloomberg livefeed via Twitter.
I had to decide between wine and whiskey and I opted for wine because whiskey goes down too easily.
I’ve been praying all day that sunglasses-senate-hearing-badass Hillz is in the wings waiting to make Cheeto BBQ.
Here we go.
Gah, I can’t post!
Bloomberg is calling this a “tie-race,” at 46-46% which is … dispiriting.
Are we good again?
I want to punch him in his bright orange face.
He’s less orange than usual tonight! This venue must have a hell of a lighting designer to balance that out.
Blah blah Mexico blah blah best plants blah.
… And HOW are you going to stop jobs from moving overseas? Why are YOU the best choice?
BECAUSE OF YOUR RUNNING MATE. THAT’S WHY CARRIER LEFT.
I knew he was going to invoke Reagan.
No uncle fluffy!
I watched the Reagan/Mondale debate last night. So did Trump.
What. You don’t watch old debates.
Go for the jugular Clinton!
No Uncle Fluffy indeed.
A VERY SMALL AMOUNT? WHAT?
Isn’t VAT in the EU?
I want to punch him again.
Lester’s already annoyed that he’s not answering questions.
Trump’s hand was shaking when he took that drink of water. He knows he’s out of his league.
I want to some day be able to say as much with a blink as Hillary does.
She’s starting to dig. I think this night is looking up.
Investing in things that lose money is what keeps the Trumps afloat. I’m not sure what kind of room he has to attack that solar company I can’t remember the name of.
*Broad appeal to middle America*
Yeah, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on there.
She’s bringing all the receipts.
I figured it would take much longer than 20 minutes to derail him, and look at him go!
“Well Donald, I know you live in your own reality…” DAMN GIRL!
She drops her volume every time he gets het up. That’s smooth.
Why is Lester Holt not stepping in when Trump keeps interrupting?
This has been the whole game for them, “What do you want to do, Mr. Trump?” “HILLARY BURN BAD LADY RANT.”
This is the best debate ever!
He’s fucking losing it and she’s just laughing.
Pissy whiny baby man.
This is great! This is so great!
I’m literally eating popcorn.
I need more wine.
“Saying more crazy things!” She has 100% run out of fucks.
This is the Clinton we needed to see.
Gif game on point!
“Essentially financial information of sorts.”
“You’re perfectly free to release your taxes during an audit.”
He cannot stand a woman speaking with authority for more than 90 seconds, max. I bet his rate of interruptions goes up as the debate goes on.
Getting audited all the time isn’t really something to brag about.
I can’t even find a gif for this.
I was just going to say that, regarding the audits.
Her team prepped her SO well. This is amazing.
I think he should pay those taxes.
“Against my lawyers wishes.” um…. there is probably a reason for that.
She is trying so hard not to laugh at him outright.
Yes, it’s disgraceful to exercise your constitutional rights.
Whatever happened, it’s not the techie’s fault. Why does Trump hate techies?
OMG we’re not a third world country. You jackass.
I can list banks! I know words!
And maybe it’s because you haven’t paid any federal income taxes in years. BURN
Yeah, insult the architect. Smooth.
Do you think he really didn’t pay his taxes? That would be a pretty good October surprise.
It’s not that he owed money and just didn’t pay it, he just took a billion deductions and moved shit around so he wouldn’t owe anything.
This is pretty good: https://www.hillaryclinton.com/literallytrump/
Oh, shit’s about to get real.
“It’s all words. It’s all soundbites.” — Reminder that when Trump makes insults, usually there’s a direct correlation to himself.
“My investments are being threatened!”
Stop and frisk ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
“Stop and frisk was ruled unconstitutional.”
“A very against police judge.”
I have property there.
You don’t get better relationships by having cops randomly stop people all the time!
C’mon, say community organizer.
I can’t believe this man is running against the most qualified candidate we’ve had in the last several decades.
Everything he is saying is not so coded racism.
“Implicit bias is a problem for everyone, not just police.” PRAISE HANDS!
BEING ENDORSED BY THE NRA IS NOT A GOOD THING!!
I want to take guns away from black people! Why don’t you?
Stop and frisk had nothing to do with declining murder rates! It just locked up non-white kids with weed.
HOLY FUCK GIRL!
Damn, I put away my popcorn. This is gonna be fun.
BUT WHY DID YOU KEEP SAYING HE WAS KENYAN IF *YOU GOT HIM TO RELEASE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE* YOU JACKASS?
I don’t think I can see that.
He is just rambling off some names.
That’s how primary debates work! You try to make yourself look like the best option. Duh.
You settled with no admission of guilt. That’s not the same as having it dismissed without merit. And yeah, lots of companies were sued because all y’all fuckers were doing the same thing!
I want to punch his smug smirk.
YES, you bring up Russia, Madame Secretary. Do it.
“It could be somebody sitting on their bed weighing 400 pounds.” Daaaaaaaamn, fucker.
“The security aspect of cyber is very, very tough.”
We should all avoid cybering with D. Trump.
I just vomited in my mouth.
It’s like if he just says “cyber” he thinks he knows things.
“They shouldn’t have been in.” AND WHICH PARTY’S FAULT WAS IT THAT THEY WERE THERE?
I really just want to mute Trump when he’s speaking.
You can’t just take another country’s resources!
If nothing else, it’s in the damn ground. You can’t just pack it up.
Yes, Clinton, please answer the question asked.
Oh my god NATO doesn’t give a flying fuck what you said in an interview one time years ago. You egotistical fuck.
Sean Hannity is not who you want vouching for you.
“Call Sean Hannity!”
“I have a much better temperament.” He’s so fucking delusional.
Bragging about talking to Howard Stern hardly is a point of credibility.
“That’s diplomacy.” Something he would know nothing about.
You can hear Lester rolling his eyes.
Trump: America loses at everything.
Is he suggesting our military needs more equipment?
I love that he simultaneously says everyone should get rid of their nukes and bitches that we aren’t making ours more advanced.
No! Mutual defense treaties should not be treated like business transactions.
She can’t even stop laughing at him.
Stamina? There’s one of you falling apart after an hour and half, Don, and it’s not the lady in red.
“Where did you find this?”
I keep typing things, but he keeps talking, and now I’m just blinking.
A woman said a mean thing about me! Whomp, whomp
Thank god that’s over.
Yes! I have grown to like Tim Kaine and he will folksy shade Pence hardcore.