Election 2016: Pmag Style

As it turns out, we have not been living in a nightmare for the past year, we’re on the fast track to hell in a handbasket full of deplorables. As Persephoneers, we always have a plan, even in the event of a wee-fingered-Cheeto inspired apocalypse. 

Step One: Vote, for the love of all the gods, goddesses, idols, and otherwise sacred things. Help other people get to their polling places however you can. Even if your state is as red as a stop sign. (Hello, Indiana! We can’t let Pence loose on America, moderate neighbors, let alone that deranged and misshapen wax figure from a tourist trap in Vegas.)

Step Two: Keep up your strength with this .gif party, USA poodles, and your patriotism with Mr. Neil Diamond.

The appropriate way to address an angry deplorable:


When you see the 10,000,000,000th comment/headline/FB post about Hillary’s pantsuits:


When recalling that Matt Lauer still has a job, and makes lots more money than everyone who reads this put together:


Reading the internet:




Hoping one’s well-crafted rhetoric will win over the audience:




Realizing one’s well-crafted rhetoric was met with the equivalent of farts:


Realizing nobody on the internet knows what the word “rhetoric” means.


Canada’s biggest fear if Cap’n Tang wins:


Worrying about poll numbers in September:


In addition to voting (I am so fucking serious, American P’neers.), the only way to respond until November:





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[E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

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