You are browsing the archive for Jen R. L. Disarray.

Morbid Curiosity: Sunday Morning Sausage Ring

May 7, 2012 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

I love the pictures in cookbooks. Great pictures of good food make me hungry. Great pictures of bad food intrigue me. In Betty Crocker’s “New Good and Easy Cook Book” (1962) ,there is a full colour photo of a hearty-looking, meaty ring filled with a lumpy white sauce. Intriguing! And next to the picture is a cryptic sidebar indicating that this dish is “Meant for Men.” Even more intriguing. The sidebar is flanked with little line drawings of moustachioed gentlemen. Moustachioed gentlemen, you guys! You know I have to answer a challenge like that! Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Rum Tum Ditty

March 12, 2012 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

Rum Tum Ditty is a ridiculous name for a food-thing. It is so ridiculous, that I keep trying to say it alternately as “Rum Tum Tugger” and as “Rum Tum Titty.” Why would you anyone even name a food something this silly? It’s practically begging for a Freudian tit. I mean, Freudian slip.  Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Stuffed Prunes

March 5, 2012 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

Dear Readers, are you plagued with an excess of friends and admirers? Do people constantly hang around your house in order to bask in the light of your reflected glory? Are your parties too entertaining and now you regret setting the bar so high? What you need are some less-appetizing appetizers! Luckily, I’ve got just the solution for you. Read the rest of this entry →

Cookbook Cover Art: Co-op Food Fun

February 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

One of my favourite things about older cookbooks (besides the bizarre recipes) is the artwork. And by “one of my favourite things,” I mean “one of my favourite things to make fun of.” Same difference. And what better target for this week’s good-natured mockery and speculation than my very first cookbook? Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Chipped Beef-Peanut Butter-Cheese Hearts

February 13, 2012 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

In case you haven’t turned on a television or computer or stepped out of your house for the past couple of weeks, I have a timely public service announcement for you: tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. That’s right… the holiday with all the chocolate and hearts and little naked babies shooting people with arrows. Oh no! Did you forget to do something special for your Significant Other and/or cat? Read the rest of this entry →

Lamb and Lentil Stew

January 23, 2012 at 7:00 pm in Food

Last week, the sky opened up and released buckets of snow that it had apparently been holding on to since sometime in November. In short, it was freakin’ cold outside. But I know how to conquer the cold weather when it hits: with stew! I make stew (and most other things) using a very imprecise cooking method known as the “Making Shit Up” method. This makes it a bit more challenging to write down or pass on recipes, but I’ve had good luck with it over all. The night before I made this stew I came up with an idea for it. And some people might shout, “That’s like my grandma’s recipe! You didn’t invent it, Liar McLiar-pants!”  But I haven’t read your grandma’s recipe, so I just put a bunch of things in a pot that I thought would taste good together. (Also, your grandma is a lovely person and you should really call her more often.) Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Ham Rolls in Aspic

January 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

I went shopping for a couple of the ingredients I needed before starting this recipe. When I came home, my husband looked into my shopping bag: sliced ham and a package of Jell-O. “Nothing good can come of this,” he said, shaking his head. He was right. If only I had listened…

In this recipe, a cream cheese, horseradish, and relish mixture is spread over slices of ham, which are in turn rolled up and suspended in pineapple gelatin. There is no way around it: it tastes awful.

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Morbid Curiosity: A Trio of Gelatine Protein Drinks

January 9, 2012 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

People always say the simplest foods are the best. I’m sure that rule is true in the majority of cases, but good grief, have I ever found some exceptions this week! These 1959 recipes for semi-homemade protein drinks are hardly more complicated than combining a liquid with a powder. But take my word for it: even though they are simple recipes, they are simply awful. Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Cheese Candle

December 19, 2011 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

I’ve got a theory. I’ve mentioned it in a few Morbid Curiosity posts before, and on my own blog. My theory is that people who write cookbooks and recipe pamphlets are often bored out of their freaking skulls, and they entertain themselves by seeing how many strange foods and private jokes they can slip past their editors. I’m not judging them for it… it provides me with hours of entertainment (as well as writing material) and I’m 99.9% certain that I’d be trying to get away with similar hijinks if I were in their position.  Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Tuna and Chips Casserole

December 12, 2011 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

I was feeling particularly wintery this weekend and winter is a good time for casseroles. Cold, damp westcoast winters make me want to bundle up in my warmest, wooliest sweater, wrap myself in two more blankets, and eat piping hot foods until February. Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Being a Good Hostess

December 5, 2011 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

“A relaxed, confident hostess is the key to a successful party. If you show signs of uneasiness or act unsure of yourself, the guests will sense your discomfort and may not have a good time. The best way to avoid entertaining catastrophes is to plan well.” Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Ruby-Red Salad Mold

November 28, 2011 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

It’s the Monday after American Thanksgiving, and that means red and green on everything everywhere. And why should this gelatin salad creation be any different? Besides, everyone loves cranberries and I’m certain that no one is sick of them yet. Right? Read the rest of this entry →

Reading “The Mists of Avalon” at Age Twelve

November 24, 2011 at 5:00 pm in Crossposts

I was a twelve-year-old social pariah and I had probably read every Arthurian book in our (admittedly limited) middle school library. At school, my favorite lunchtime activity was sitting in the classroom of a sympathetic teacher and discussing books with her. Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Fish Custard

November 21, 2011 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

Upon seeing the title of this post, a person (at least, a person identifying as a Doctor Who fan) might ask me, “Jen, did you choose this recipe simply because it reminded you of Doctor Who, and you miss your favorite show?” And I would glance around guiltily, shuffle my feet, and mumble, “Yes.” Read the rest of this entry →

Morbid Curiosity: Vegetable Yogurt Salad

November 14, 2011 at 7:00 pm in Morbid Curiosity

I am housesitting for my parents this month and so I have access to my mom’s cookbooks. One of them is a Jell-O cookbook that I fondly remember from when I was growing up. I’m not very old, (Bite your lying tongue! Thirty is not that old!) and I figured that recipes from my childhood would be free from the sort of inexplicable combinations that I’ve grown used to seeing in cookbooks published in the early 1960s.  Read the rest of this entry →

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