Deus ex MacIntosh used to be a tongue-in-cheek advice column that didn’t work out. Now, it’s something completely different.
Dear Selena, I’m a lady on the verge of adulthood, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Can you and TV help me decide? Sincerely, Confused
Dear Selena: My wonderful, amazing. beautiful teenager told me the other day that she thinks she’s “not pretty.” This is objectively untrue, but like most teenagers, she can’t see through her own insecurities. What, Oh TV Guru, would the great sitcoms of the past do to help a teenager improve their self image? Signed, Frustrated with archaic, ridiculous beauty standards
“Dear Selena, I have invited my boyfriend’s parents over for Christmas dinner, but I’ve never really prepared a big fancy dinner before. Can television help me show them a night they’ll never forget? Signed, Culinary Neophyte”
I caught my husband frequenting an online stripper website. I’m not as upset about this as society tells me I should be, so I feel like I should be more upset. What should I do, Deus ex MacIntosh?
Dear Deus ex MacIntosh, What the fuck is up with mother-in-laws and why can’t they ever shut the hell up about my radish flowers and other inane minutae? Signed, Defeated Daughter-in-Law
We’re back for another round of Deus ex MacIntosh, where I solve your problems with the help of TV. Like always, this column is for yuks, not for helping anyone make serious decisions.
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